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The NEW Top Ten at Dave's

 
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Kent F. Kruhoeffer



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Posts: 2129
Location: 中国

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 5:53 am    Post subject: The NEW Top Ten at Dave's Reply with quote

Good Day Forum:

Here it is: the results you've been waiting for! The NEW Top Ten list of 'most popular' forums for the month of April, based on the total number of posts per forum as of 11AM, 27 April 2003.

And now, the play-by-play details you've been demanding: Despite the ever-growing and imminent threat posed by SARS, CHINA retains its position as King of the Hill, and further stretches its lead over embarrassed rival Japan. Russia 'bops' Poland to steal 6th place, while Turkey and Hong Kong battle neck-and-neck for the 10th slot.

Laughing CHINA - 2503
Embarassed Japan - 1618
Very Happy Taiwan - 632
Razz Saudi Arabia - 309
Smile Mexico - 210
Twisted Evil Russia - 201
Smile Poland - 172
Confused Thailand - 119
Shocked Turkey - 105
Mad Hong Kong - 100

Disclaimer: As usual, the results from the Korean forum have been omitted from this contest since they kicked all of our butts with 2,857,386 posts this month.
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gerard



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 581
Location: Internet Cafe

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kent--An interesting side issue is where the general forum ---this one--- sits. A slight lead over China but way ahead of everyone else. What does this mean??? And if our co-horts in The Land of the Morning Nightmare would stop posting about how much they hate life this site could become king. Ya ear me mate??? Eh?? Eh?? Cheers!!!
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Kent F. Kruhoeffer



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Posts: 2129
Location: 中国

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 10:28 am    Post subject: !!NEWS FLASH!! Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing NEWS FLASH Laughing Laughing

AP/Reuters/keNters newswire-27 April 2003

The tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife! That's right, folks. Russia and Mexico are locked in a fierce duel to the death for 5th place, while Dave's member Gerard asks the question on everyone's mind at this very moment: "What does this mean?"

Only a single post separates the 2 countries, as posters and readers across the World tune in to ask the fateful question, "Who will finally grab the coveted 5th spot on Dave's Top Ten, thus moving one step closer to taking on EFL GIANT Saudi Arabia head on for 4th place?"

Will it be tacos and margaritas, or borscht and vodka?? At the end of the day, these are the questions that puzzle the minds of men.

Stay tuned for more live coverage of these unfolding events: Viewers are advised that we will be interrupting regular broadcasting to bring you the latest updates. Parental discretion is advised. Twisted Evil
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Lucy Snow



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 218
Location: US

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why bother with breaking into regular broadcasting?

Maybe Dave's should just run a news crawler at the bottoms of our screens with up-to-the-minute reports, just like CNN. (And thank god the BBC hasn't succombed to that kind of stupidity.)
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 12903
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 2:34 pm    Post subject: Wet work required Reply with quote

Dear keNt,
" . . . . thus moving one step closer to taking on EFL GIANT Saudi Arabia head on for 4th place?"
The only way Russia's going to overtake the Kingdom is if V. V. Putin sends out a KGB hit squad to assassinate scot47.
Regards,
John
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gerard



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 581
Location: Internet Cafe

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is almost as exciting as the English footie standings. Of course the race to the top is exciting but what about the race to the bottom??? What happens to the bottom feeders>??? Will they be "relegated?" and relegated to what??? Maybe to a life of vodka and sardines>??? Or to the daves esl minor leagues/
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gerard



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 581
Location: Internet Cafe

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DISCLAIMER: The author is not suggesting that Russians exist on Vodka and sardines. That would be politically incorrect. In fact the author is all in favor of vodka and sardines but not in that order. And the author acknowledges that Russians actually live on cigarettes and Belgian coffee. And the author accepts that he is stark raving nuts due to the jackhammer going off 15 feet from his head on a Sunday night.
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Kent F. Kruhoeffer



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Posts: 2129
Location: 中国

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 3:30 am    Post subject: Hi John ^_^ Reply with quote

Dear Johnslat:

You wouldn't happen to have Scot47's home address handy, would you? I have a couple weeks of summer vacation coming up and thought I might just drop by for a 'surprise' visit.

OK: gotta run now! Natasha is serving sardines, vodka, filterless cigarettes and Belgian coffee in my breakfast chambers. Wink mmmmmm. I love the smell of sardines and cheap, filterless cigarettes in the morning.

PS: And for Lucy Snow, the latest update in real time:

Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 Russia - 209 Mexico - 211 .............
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 12903
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 4:19 am    Post subject: Show me the Money! Reply with quote

Dear keNt,
What!!! Why, I'm shocked and highly insulted that you would suggest I rat on a fellow Saudi vet, put the finger on a Kingdom colleague. Ah, just out of curiosity, though - how much would such info be worth to you? ( sorry scot47 - but obviously we here in InshaLaLa Land will do just about anything for the money ). This would have to be strictly a cash transaction, though, keNt - your check ( for the avatar of the month award ) still hasn't shown up in the mail.
Regards,
John
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 12490
Location: Ultima Thule

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 4:50 am    Post subject: my home address Reply with quote

Kent

Drop into your local office of the Russian Security Forces. They will deal with your inquiry about my home address, but I am not sure where they will put you up for the summer.
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Kent F. Kruhoeffer



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Posts: 2129
Location: 中国

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 5:17 am    Post subject: Plan B Reply with quote

Hello Scot47:

After stealing your indentity and thwarting your diabolical plans to dominate the World of EFL, I was planning to stay with you, silly!

Regards,
keNt41
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 12490
Location: Ultima Thule

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 5:30 am    Post subject: summer Reply with quote

The cells in my own personal Lubianka are full. I have no vacancies - for wandering EFLers or humans.
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Irish



Joined: 13 Jan 2003
Posts: 371

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 6:02 am    Post subject: Summer camp Reply with quote

No doubt scot47's cells are filled with naive backpackers waiting to be "reeducated" before being released back into the wild. What fun they'll have at camp this summer!
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 12490
Location: Ultima Thule

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 6:16 am    Post subject: backpacking Reply with quote

Now that has given me a wonderful idea. I will post a message offering a two-day certificate for would-be backpackers. Guarantee a job at the end of it. On their first day I put some soporific substance in their morning coffee, and they wake up in the dungeons of my chateau. Wonderful !!!!

Last edited by scot47 on Tue Apr 29, 2003 6:12 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kent F. Kruhoeffer



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Posts: 2129
Location: 中国

PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2003 5:53 am    Post subject: URGENT ..... URGENT ..... Reply with quote

UPI-Reuters-keNters: NEWSWIRE - 29 April 2003


beep *** beep *** beep *** beep *** beep *** beep *** beep ***


RUSSIA STEALS 5th PLACE FROM MEXICO

We interrupt regular programming to bring you this latest NEWSFLASH from the raging EFL forum-battle between Mexico and Russia. As of 1PM SDST (Siberian Dog Sled Time) Russia, with 220 posts, has finally edged out arch rival Mexico, with 213, to move into coveted fifth place directly behind Saudi Arabia.

In other news, nuclear war broke out this morning on the Korean Peninsula. Details on these and other stories after this important commercial message from our sponsors. Twisted Evil
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