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Want (need) to move back to Japan
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mitsui



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 448
Location: Kawasaki

PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Then you could live in Hawaii as a compromise since there are many Japanese people there. The problem would be in you getting a job and your wife would have to travel by bus.
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rxk22



Joined: 19 May 2010
Posts: 897

PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mitsui wrote:
Then you could live in Hawaii as a compromise since there are many Japanese people there. The problem would be in you getting a job and your wife would have to travel by bus.


I would love to do that. Work there is so hard to find though Mad
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mitsui



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 448
Location: Kawasaki

PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I may go back to the US this year.

I know one teacher who had a tough time in either Kansas or Missouri since his wife could not stand living there, so they headed back to Japan.

I have heard of many wives who do not want to live outside Japan.

My concern is the time it takes to get a green card and what my wife would do. I think it is easier for Japanese to find work in Oahu, partly due to the demand for people who are bilingual, whether working in business, tourism, or doing interpreting or translation.

There is opportunity in Hawaii in teaching K-12 but I hear bad things about schools there.
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Vince



Joined: 05 May 2003
Posts: 485
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've considered Hawaii. It's very expensive, but probably my Plan B.
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jmatt



Joined: 29 Apr 2012
Posts: 103

PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 2014 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mitsui wrote:
I may go back to the US this year.

I know one teacher who had a tough time in either Kansas or Missouri since his wife could not stand living there, so they headed back to Japan.



I know a few people who experienced this exact situation. You gotta figure---even the most provincial cities here are far more convenient to live in than many, many cities in North America.
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timothypfox



Joined: 20 Feb 2008
Posts: 345

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a friend who had a son with aspergers who moved from Japan back to New York City because there was poor educational programs resources and programs for his son in TOKYO!

Also, with regards to marital difficulties and speaking from experience with 2 failed marriages to Japanese women - changing country doesn't fix problems in a marriage. Changing country complicates problems I think.

PM me if you want to hear me cynically rant more about that - probably you don't - but my advice for you is to stay put, and take care of the excellent educational resources available where you are for your son. You will not find anything like them in Japan.
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mitsui



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 448
Location: Kawasaki

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Work in Hawaii is available through Teach for America.
Pay does suck the first year and certification has to be paid for.
You can choose either Honolulu or the Big Island.

I knew a teacher from Virginia and he tried teaching in Honolulu, but later quit and then just worked at a furniture store. I think his problem was dealing with low motivated students. I think Hawaii is near the bottom in educational rankings and in students going on to university.

So work is available, but because people quit teaching.

Frankly in Hawaii, people who know Japanese and English can do better.
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Vince



Joined: 05 May 2003
Posts: 485
Location: U.S.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

timothypfox wrote:
I have a friend who had a son with aspergers who moved from Japan back to New York City because there was poor educational programs resources and programs for his son in TOKYO!

I knew that the typical public school wasn't an option, but was hoping that somebody would know of an alternative.

Quote:
Also, with regards to marital difficulties and speaking from experience with 2 failed marriages to Japanese women - changing country doesn't fix problems in a marriage. Changing country complicates problems I think.

Yeah, my thoughts about returning to Japan were ultimately about damage control for a very strained marriage. It'll be with me wherever we go.

Quote:
my advice for you is to stay put, and take care of the excellent educational resources available where you are for your son. You will not find anything like them in Japan.

You and the other posters who advise against returning to Japan are right. I might consider it if I found myself in a position to send him to international school, but I'd have to look into the schools.

Quote:
I knew a teacher from Virginia and he tried teaching in Honolulu, but later quit and then just worked at a furniture store. I think his problem was dealing with low motivated students. I think Hawaii is near the bottom in educational rankings and in students going on to university.

Moving from the mainland US to Hawaii certainly isn't like moving from Baltimore to Chicago.

Thank you all for your input. You're right that moving back to Japan would be detrimental to my son. It would also be a setback for my career aspirations. I'm just going to start setting more limits and refusing to do the things that she should be doing for herself.
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mitsui



Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 448
Location: Kawasaki

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 11:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So my friend pulled his son out of an international school in Yokohama because
a) the English teaching was bad and
b) they did not have a program to help his son with autism and aspergers

So that is why he decided it was better to live in the US, where public schools were better. In Japan, kids are not trained to be independent.

International schools are expensive.
In the past the American School was cheaper but now it must be at least 3 million a year.
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mspxlation



Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Posts: 43
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 5:27 am    Post subject: If you want your son to learn Japanese Reply with quote

how about some family vacations in Japan, and I must emphasize, family vacations with all of you, not just your wife and son?

Japan has not yet signed the international agreement on child custody, and there have been many cases (I have translated documents for some of them) in which a Japanese parent has taken a child on a "vacation" to Japan and then refused to come back or even to let the non-Japanese parent see the child.

This may be a danger, since your wife is obviously unhappy in the States. How about moving to a place that has 1) a large Japanese community, 2) good public transportation (so your wife can get around easily without driving), and 3) good programs for children with Asperger's? Large cities on the West Coast and some parts of New Jersey within commuting distance of New York City would qualify.
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Sherri



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Posts: 748
Location: The Big Island, Hawaii

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, I live and teach ESL in Hawaii on the Big Island. I lived in Japan for 14 years and have 2 kids, both born there. You can get work on Oahu (being the most likely) if you have an MA in TESL/TEFL at a community college or private school. If you just have a cert, maybe only at the private language schools.
Check
http://hawaiitesol.wildapricot.org/

But you'd be in the US, so you could work anywhere, and have more opportunities. And for your wife, a great potential for finding work in a Japanese speaking office, and to find Japanese speaking friends.

As for schools, I think there are some good schools here, and some great teachers. It is a partnership between the parents and the teachers. There are private schools to choose from, but look around and you can find some good DOE schools too. Almost all kids are hapa here, so your son would fit right in.

Just my opinion, but I would not move back to Japan. Your problems with your wife will still be the same, and for your son only worse because the schools there will not be able to deal with your son.
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Solar Strength



Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Posts: 555
Location: Bangkok, Thailand

PostPosted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 9:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Returning to Japan is a terrible idea.

So, since you're asking for free advice, this is what I have to say.

Get a divorce. Kick your wife loose, let the kid go with her, but let them go. Stay in the U.S. and if she decides to return to Japan you can always visit. If you have problems now in the States, they'd only be magnified exponentially by taking up residence in Japan.

There is no future in Japan for you as a TEFL teacher. You'd be walking from one hell into another. Seriously, be warned. The situation here is terrible for TEFL work. Moving to Japan under your current circumstances would be hell for you. It would get old and get bad fast.
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PO1



Joined: 24 May 2010
Posts: 126

PostPosted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 3:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Sherri,

I've actually been thinking of a move to Hawaii for quite some time also. I'm basically hoping to work in Japan a couple of more years and then move back to the US. I was thinking Washington state primarily, but Hawaii has entered my mind more than once.

Would you mind if I PMed you some questions about Hawaii?

Vince: I know being in your situation is rough. Have you talked extensively to your wife about what she wants to do? Is Japan her only choice? If you're going to come to a compromise, I'd suggest Hawaii as others have. At least then she'll have some chance to find more Japanese friends and possibly find some kind of work.
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