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a private question on relationships

 
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Walter



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Sun Apr 27, 2003 10:10 am    Post subject: a private question on relationships Reply with quote

I am looking for some advice without wanting to start a flame war on the subject!

I'll be starting to teach for a private school later this year in Thailand - not in Bangkok, rather off the beaten track.

as I am a single man, I know that I will not mind meeting some nice girl/woman to spend some time with. I am not looking for the nightlife type, but rather someone educated and interesting to talk to. I'm in my mid-forties.

What will I have to be careful about, what are the chances and the risks? Are mentalities too different (I'm from Europe)?

I know this is a tricky question, as it can easily be misunderstood, but spending a year or more in one place, it will be normal to look for someone to spend time with. I am not really looking for the 20 year olds, maybe a little closer to my age group

anyway, I just want to get a feeling for this matter - so any ideas, comments will be appreciated.

TIA

The Grey Panther Smile
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dan



Joined: 20 Mar 2003
Posts: 247
Location: shanghai

PostPosted: Tue May 06, 2003 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you wont have any trouble meeting ladies, as im sure you know. you might have problems meeting the type you are looking for, however. best bet is to use common sense and trust your instincts. its been my experience in thailand and elsewhere in asia is that you can spot an opportunist a mile off in the distance. if and when you are a bit leary, there are ways that you can, well, "test" the girl. this sounds terrible, and often can be, but its better to be safe and certain than be filled with regret later on. be vigilant about a girl who hints at a desire to leave her location, or complains about having to work for starters. one potential problem is that many (and i mean many!) thai women have, at one time or another, engaged in prostitution. most of them had little choice and none are proud of the fact, but its an issue for some foreigners (thankfuly thai men cut them slack on this since they realize that thailand provides little opportunity for women, especially the uneducated which a prepondance of them are) being in a remote place will actual be somewhat to your advantage as most women with real ambition move to bangkok or chiang mai where the pluckings are more ripe and plentyful.
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chog



Joined: 20 Mar 2003
Posts: 15

PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2003 2:35 am    Post subject: Don't listen to this Dan fella Reply with quote

What strange advice to give! And pray tell oh learned one how long have you spent in Thailand to learn such things. Speaking as someone who has been there on and off for about fifteen years and who lived there for three I find your comments way off base.

Sure there are potential gold diggers but these exist in every country in the world whether you are a man or a a woman. Just take things slowly and use your common sense. . . ie little things like Where is a good place to meet someone genuine ?robably not a bar, but who knows?)


Mr Dan saysMANY MANY women Thai women have been prostitutes. How do you know sir? It's fair to say that the sex industry is huge in Thailand but I would still say with absolute certainty that many. many more women haven't worked in the sex industry.


Thai men are cool with women working as prostitutes. I'm sorry, how long were you there for? One day? That must have been the pimp you were talking to . . . . .Your comments on this are dare I say it, a .little laughable. The majority of Thai men are not happy about this at all!

Bottom line ,


It's a great country filled with great people. You're a man of the world and I'm sure you can see the warning signs of anyone who has a hidden agenda. Treat people with respect and avoid becoming over emotional ESPECIALLY in public! and ESPECIALLY with displays of temper,impatience etc.

Let me know where you;re going and I'll see if I can get some local info.


Best

Chog

PS

VERY IMPORTANT Do not pay heed to people who have been there for a day/week/month/ and think they know it all. They are normally way off target with their comments. And it;s understandable really. . .They've been to BKK and chiang mai and maybe down south to an island or two and think they know it all. There is a lot more to the place than that.


Good luck Walter
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ajarn



Joined: 15 Mar 2003
Posts: 53

PostPosted: Wed May 07, 2003 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Walter, my first peice of advice would be to post this topic on ajarn.com where you will be innundated with helpful and not so helpful advice. I myself lived in an off the beaten track place in Thailand, (approximately 10 resident farangs, the majority ESL teachers).

You say you want to meet someone educated and interesting to talk to. I assume by interesting you mean talking about things other than isn`t he/she/that thing beautiful/lovely and someone who doesn`t watch hours of those mind numbing thai sopa operas. In my humble opinion your chances of finding that in an off the beaten track place are slim. And no, not because they are all gold diggers and postitutes or because they are uneducated. I`m talking about the language barrier. Unless your thai is exceptional or she has an overseas education it wil be difficult to have an interesting conversation. Most girls who have overseas educations are probably sloggin it out in Bkk. I`m sure they do exist in the country but I`m not optimistic about your chances.

That aside I would thoroughly recomend a stay out in the sticks. It`s a great way to practice thai and learn about the culture and people.

Chok dee na krup
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