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The 25 Shortest Books Ever

 
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MissMolly



Joined: 10 May 2003
Posts: 99
Location: China (USA)

PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2003 1:01 pm    Post subject: The 25 Shortest Books Ever Reply with quote

25. "My Plan To Find The Real Killers" by OJ Simpson

24. "To All The Men I've Loved Before" by Ellen DeGeneres

23. "The Book of Virtues" by Dean Rains

22. The Difference between Reality and Dilbert

21. Human Rights Advances in China

20. "Things I Wouldn't Do for Money" by Dennis Rodman

19. Al Gore: The Wild Years

18. Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean

17. America's Most Popular Lawyers

16. Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors

15. Detroit - A Travel Guide

14. Different Ways to Spell "Bob"

13. Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches

12. Easy UNIX

11. Ethiopian Tips on World Dominance

10. Everything Men Know About Women

9. Everything Women Know About Men

8. French Hospitality

7. George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names

6. "How to Sustain a Musical Career" by Art Garfunkel

5. Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette, with an introduction by Marv Albert

4. One Hundred and One Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA

3. Staple Your Way to Success

2. The Amish Phone Directory

1. The Engineer's Guide to Fashion

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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R



Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 277
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2003 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Modern English Usage" by George W Bush.

"The UK Government Guide to the containment of foot and mouth disease"

"Planning a Career" by Clare Short

"Finnegan's Wake: Children's Edition" by James Joyce

"How to get Noticed" by Lord Lucan

"Things to do in Slough"

Rob.
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wix



Joined: 21 Apr 2003
Posts: 250
Location: Earth

PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2003 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Technology for Luddites

Peace and Nonviolence by George W Bush

10 things I love about the USA by Osama bin Laden with a foreword by Saddam Hussein
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R



Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 277
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2003 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Alternatives to Oil"
"America's Role in the U.N."
"Healthy Eating"

(a George W. Bush omnibus)
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guest of Japan



Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 1601
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2003 2:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How to backpack your way through the EFL world, by Scot47.

Teaching without a Degree, by Richard Ame.

Finding the perfect woman in your own backyard, by Foolsboy.

Internet forum etiquette, by Itslatedoors.

The virtues of dating students, by Bnix.

Japan with no plan, by Glenski.
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R



Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 277
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Tue May 13, 2003 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooooooh! Fight! fight! Fight!!! Very Happy
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Kent F. Kruhoeffer



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Posts: 2129
Location: 中国

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 4:29 am    Post subject: Best-Sellers List Reply with quote

Good Golly MissMolly et al:

This is very funny! Well, in case you missed it, here are a few new releases available in bookstores everywhere:

1. "The Dangers of Plastic Surgery" by Michael Jackson

2. "Monogamy is Bliss" by Bill Clinton

3. "Ten Tips For Improving America's Image Abroad" by Donald Rumsfeld

4. "Surgical Masks: They're Not Just For Surgeons Anymore!" by Iam Chinese

and ... the number 1 best-seller at the moment:

5. "How to Get a Really Close Shave" by Al Qaida


Last edited by Kent F. Kruhoeffer on Wed May 14, 2003 10:06 am; edited 1 time in total
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MissMolly



Joined: 10 May 2003
Posts: 99
Location: China (USA)

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 7:47 am    Post subject: any more? Reply with quote

Hey guys,
Thanks for the giggles. How about something new, like, "Children's Books You'll Never See" or something Question
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R



Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 277
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 9:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Um...

"Where's My Hand?" by Michael Jackson.
"The Marlboro Fag-Time Fun Book"
"The Al Quaeda Puzzle Book"
"Teaching TEFL without a degree. Or A-levels. Or GCSEs. Or 11-plusses"
"Fun with Skewers."
"Partytime Cooking with Narcotics"
"Harry Potter and the Man with a Big Wooden Stick with Nails in it who Bashes Harry Repeatedly on the Head Until He's Nothing But a Bloody Pulp."
"Seducing Mummy"
"Seducing Daddy"
"How to Check the Contents of Grandad's Will and then Kill Him Without Raising Suspicion."

...um...
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MissMolly



Joined: 10 May 2003
Posts: 99
Location: China (USA)

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Laughing
How about...
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
"Bi-Curious George"
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R



Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 277
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"The Very Horny Caterpillar"
"Where the Wild Girls Are"
"Bambi II: Deers with Guns" (more of a film, I suppose)
"101 Dalmations Get it On"
"Old MacDonald HAS a Farm"
"George's Marvellous Heroin"
"Swinging Time in Moominland"
"Amazons Swallow"
"The Fantastic Mr Fux"
"Charlie and the Chocolate *beep*"
"The Great Glass *beep*"
"The 'Naked Lunch' Colouring Book"
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R



Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 277
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"So You Were an Accident: What Now?"
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R



Joined: 07 May 2003
Posts: 277
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 12:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Little Red Clitoral Hood"
"The I-Spy Book of Venereal Diseases"
"David Bellamy Shows All"
"Alice in Roppongi"
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Ben Round de Bloc



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 1946

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 12:55 pm    Post subject: Guide Books for Mexico Reply with quote

Shortest guide books for the future EFL teacher in Mexico:

"Quiet Mexican Cities"

"High-Paying Language Schools for the Unqualified EFL Teacher"

"High-Paying Language Schools for the Qualified EFL Teacher"

"Rules for Driving in Mexico"

"Getting a Work Visa: Simple, Fast & Easy"

"How to Avoid Waiting in Long Lines"

"Inexpensive Restaurants that Guarantee No Food Poisoning"

"Cheap, Safe Apartments Where Everything Works"

"Language School Directors Who Always Tell the Truth"

"Easy Route to Wealth as an EFL Teacher in Mexico"

Best wishes!
Smile
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Jojo



Joined: 25 Mar 2003
Posts: 119
Location: Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2003 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about the Top 12 books that were rejected by Dr. Seuss

1. The Cat in the Blender
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox in Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho
6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo---Can You?
9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
10. One B****, Two B****, Dead B****, Blue B****
11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the F*** Out!
12. Are You My Proctologist?
13. Yentl the Lentil
14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
15. Aunts in My Pants
16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
18. The Grinch's Ten Inches

Razz Razz Razz
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