Job Discussion Forums

[simple is best]

Hi all

This is my first post on these forums. I'm currently working for the British Council in Indonesia and I'm interested in possibly moving to the UAE, either Dubai or Abu Dhabi.

My main concern is that my wife is Singaporean Indian (I'm "caucasian") and while I've read some postings by "western" white women, I haven't read anything about women of Indian ethnic origin and how they are treated in the UAE and the ME in general. We've had a few difficulties with Indian and Bangladeshi construction workers in Singapore. While they only represent a small percentage of the population in Singapore, I realise that South Asians are the largest ethnic group in the UAE. Will this become an even bigger issue for us? I've also read and heard about local Gulf men, how will they treat her if she's on her own?

I'm looking for somewhere we can feel comfortable and she can live a relatively normal life and feel comfortable to get about while I'm not around. Will this be possible anywhere in the UAE or anywhere else in the ME for us?

Other comments about cost of living and the quality of work environment while working for the British Council in the UAE are also welcome.

[veiledsentiments]

Hi Simple,

I can't speak to the British Council package, but I presume that if you go in as a foreign hire, they will give a competitive package based on your experience and education.

As to your wife, much depends on her self-esteem and ability to accept that many will think that she is your 'maid.' I don't think there is any safety issue for her (though going on the streets alone late at night might get her in trouble.)

It is more a matter that she may not be treated with the respect that she deserves. That said, there are many professional women of Indian ancestry working in the Gulf.

If she can accept this situation, things should be fine.

VS

[abiollo]

Hey, Simple

I'm Korean with a cocasian husband. We went to Dubai to visit our friends in January for about 2 weeks. While I was there, couple people were giving me funny looks. You know, it was kind of looking up and down checking my figure,... According to my friend, there have been lots of Chinese prostitutes in Emirates. That was the reason they looked at me that way during the daytime at Carrefour- the biggest grocerystore there. In most situations I found the people very kind and polite. Whereever you go, there are always some people with bad attitude. If your wife can handle that, it would be no problem. I found Dubai a very pleasant place to live. We are trying to move there but things are not working out that way so far. Hope something comes out quick. Good luck on your next move.

abiollo

[veiledsentiments]

Abiollo

Don't feel that you were unusual or anything, they do the same thing to middle-aged white women who could be their mother or even grandmother.

What you have in the Emirates is a huge number of men who are living away from their wives for years at a time and almost all of them are working at such low pay jobs that they couldn't afford even the lowly hookers. It is actually quite a sad and lonely life for so many of them.

But, for the most part women are still very safe there. ...though a 'non-white' female would be taking a risk being out alone between the hours of midnight and sunrise.

VS

[simple is best]

To veiled sentiments and abiollo

Thanks for your honest feedback, it's relevant and useful. I'm considering applying for positions in Oman and Qatar as well. Will the situation be the similar for my wife?? Better, worse??

[veiledsentiments]

Hello again,

Yes, it will be pretty much the same. The population of Qatar is smaller, so that may affect the amount of attention one gets.

Oman is probably the most comfortable place for women. The local men are very respectful of women (for the most part, of course). The Omanis are Ibadhi Muslims and conform better to the cultural rule against staring at the opposite sex. The expat workers tend to conform to the local customs and also don't seem to stare quite so much.

All is relative, of course.

VS

[blues clues]

I feel no sympathy at all for these migrant workers, as far as the staring goes. To use the excuse that they're away from their wives, etc, is just that, an excuse. It's not just the staring, but the WAY they stare, and they don't only stare at "white" women, they stare at woman of all races in a perverted manner...I have friends from Pakistan, and they tell me it's even worse over there. So, it's not because they are away from their families, truth is, they are uneducated and have no manners. From their staring to their spitting, anywhere....all the time, disgusting! The Gulf hired cheap labour from these countries, and now they are suffering for it. From bad driving (yes, Emirati's also, I know), to their uncleanliness. The Gulf is becoming a sesspool....Sad really. And no, I'm not racist, and yes, I feel sorry for some of them who come here and work for nothing, but I don't excuse their horrible behavior.
As for being an Asian or Indian woman, and being told not to walk around A.D. in the middle of the night....I wouldn't advise any woman to do that. There's much more happening in the UAE than what's reported in the news!

[veiledsentiments]

Well, whether you are racist or not is not completely clear, but if you had ever been to the subcontinent, you would have noticed that everyone stares. Every man, woman, and child stares at everyone - no matter race or age, or sex. It seems to be the poor person's entertainment. I have assumed that it is cultural, but you are free to assume racial inferiority if you wish.

It sounds like it is time for you to go home, better that you don't live in that 'sesspool.' (sic)

VS

[blues clues]

VS....seems you always have an opinion about what others should/shouldn't do.....I have many female friends here, and have spoken to many women from different countries who feel the same way about the "staring"problem. I have travelled to many countries....staring out of curiosity is one thing, staring for other reasons is something completely different. But then who am I to say.....you seem to think you're the only one on here who's allowed to have an opinion about anything....when I choose to go home, I certainly won't ask for your permission, or for your good wishes for that matter.

[blues clues]

Racial Inferioty, give me a break......interesting that those words came from you......

[veiledsentiments]

Well, your words speak for themselves. As a woman who lived around the Gulf for many years, I obviously have a right to an opinion. I hadn't noticed that I had any power to stop you from displaying yours too.

VS

[Bindair Dundat]

[younggeorge]

VS seems to have it about right. As half of a mixed marriage myself, and having a mixed-race daughter who spent her teen years here, I think I'm in a pretty good position to comment. Yes, staring is a problem, especially on the beaches - there was a newspaper report just last week of the police moving on a group of about 20 men who were staring at two women in bikinis on a beach at Ajman - but we got similar stares in Brunei and Malaysia, and I find the lager louts on English beaches a lot more worrying.

As for going out at night, we always worried about our daughter staying out late, but did you ever know parents of a teenage daughter who didn't? She often stayed out till the small hours of the morning and always came home safely.

I have two colleagues here who have wives from South Asia: if you'd like to PM me, I'll put you in touch with them. I'm sure they'll say you have no need to worry.