Site Search:
 
TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International
Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Dubai and Abu Dhabi for a mixed couple

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> United Arab Emirates
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
simple is best



Joined: 23 Mar 2005
Posts: 9
Location: Indonesia

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 7:59 am    Post subject: Dubai and Abu Dhabi for a mixed couple Reply with quote

Hi all

This is my first post on these forums. I'm currently working for the British Council in Indonesia and I'm interested in possibly moving to the UAE, either Dubai or Abu Dhabi.

My main concern is that my wife is Singaporean Indian (I'm "caucasian") and while I've read some postings by "western" white women, I haven't read anything about women of Indian ethnic origin and how they are treated in the UAE and the ME in general. We've had a few difficulties with Indian and Bangladeshi construction workers in Singapore. While they only represent a small percentage of the population in Singapore, I realise that South Asians are the largest ethnic group in the UAE. Will this become an even bigger issue for us? I've also read and heard about local Gulf men, how will they treat her if she's on her own?

I'm looking for somewhere we can feel comfortable and she can live a relatively normal life and feel comfortable to get about while I'm not around. Will this be possible anywhere in the UAE or anywhere else in the ME for us?

Other comments about cost of living and the quality of work environment while working for the British Council in the UAE are also welcome.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16063
Location: USA

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Simple,

I can't speak to the British Council package, but I presume that if you go in as a foreign hire, they will give a competitive package based on your experience and education.

As to your wife, much depends on her self-esteem and ability to accept that many will think that she is your 'maid.' I don't think there is any safety issue for her (though going on the streets alone late at night might get her in trouble.)

It is more a matter that she may not be treated with the respect that she deserves. That said, there are many professional women of Indian ancestry working in the Gulf.

If she can accept this situation, things should be fine.

VS
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
abiollo



Joined: 01 Nov 2004
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 8:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, Simple

I'm Korean with a cocasian husband. We went to Dubai to visit our friends in January for about 2 weeks. While I was there, couple people were giving me funny looks. You know, it was kind of looking up and down checking my figure,... According to my friend, there have been lots of Chinese prostitutes in Emirates. That was the reason they looked at me that way during the daytime at Carrefour- the biggest grocerystore there. In most situations I found the people very kind and polite. Whereever you go, there are always some people with bad attitude. If your wife can handle that, it would be no problem. I found Dubai a very pleasant place to live. We are trying to move there but things are not working out that way so far. Hope something comes out quick. Good luck on your next move.

abiollo
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16063
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Abiollo

Don't feel that you were unusual or anything, they do the same thing to middle-aged white women who could be their mother or even grandmother. Laughing

What you have in the Emirates is a huge number of men who are living away from their wives for years at a time and almost all of them are working at such low pay jobs that they couldn't afford even the lowly hookers. It is actually quite a sad and lonely life for so many of them.

But, for the most part women are still very safe there. ...though a 'non-white' female would be taking a risk being out alone between the hours of midnight and sunrise.

VS
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
simple is best



Joined: 23 Mar 2005
Posts: 9
Location: Indonesia

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 3:42 am    Post subject: Same or worse in the rest of the ME? Reply with quote

To veiled sentiments and abiollo

Thanks for your honest feedback, it's relevant and useful. I'm considering applying for positions in Oman and Qatar as well. Will the situation be the similar for my wife?? Better, worse??
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16063
Location: USA

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello again,

Yes, it will be pretty much the same. The population of Qatar is smaller, so that may affect the amount of attention one gets.

Oman is probably the most comfortable place for women. The local men are very respectful of women (for the most part, of course). The Omanis are Ibadhi Muslims and conform better to the cultural rule against staring at the opposite sex. The expat workers tend to conform to the local customs and also don't seem to stare quite so much.

All is relative, of course. Cool

VS
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
blues clues



Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 3:17 pm    Post subject: uae, staring Reply with quote

I feel no sympathy at all for these migrant workers, as far as the staring goes. To use the excuse that they're away from their wives, etc, is just that, an excuse. It's not just the staring, but the WAY they stare, and they don't only stare at "white" women, they stare at woman of all races in a perverted manner...I have friends from Pakistan, and they tell me it's even worse over there. So, it's not because they are away from their families, truth is, they are uneducated and have no manners. From their staring to their spitting, anywhere....all the time, disgusting! The Gulf hired cheap labour from these countries, and now they are suffering for it. From bad driving (yes, Emirati's also, I know), to their uncleanliness. The Gulf is becoming a sesspool....Sad really. And no, I'm not racist, and yes, I feel sorry for some of them who come here and work for nothing, but I don't excuse their horrible behavior.
As for being an Asian or Indian woman, and being told not to walk around A.D. in the middle of the night....I wouldn't advise any woman to do that. There's much more happening in the UAE than what's reported in the news!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16063
Location: USA

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, whether you are racist or not is not completely clear, but if you had ever been to the subcontinent, you would have noticed that everyone stares. Every man, woman, and child stares at everyone - no matter race or age, or sex. It seems to be the poor person's entertainment. I have assumed that it is cultural, but you are free to assume racial inferiority if you wish.

It sounds like it is time for you to go home, better that you don't live in that 'sesspool.' (sic)

VS
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
blues clues



Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 5:54 am    Post subject: UAE Reply with quote

VS....seems you always have an opinion about what others should/shouldn't do.....I have many female friends here, and have spoken to many women from different countries who feel the same way about the "staring"problem. I have travelled to many countries....staring out of curiosity is one thing, staring for other reasons is something completely different. But then who am I to say.....you seem to think you're the only one on here who's allowed to have an opinion about anything....when I choose to go home, I certainly won't ask for your permission, or for your good wishes for that matter.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
blues clues



Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 61

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 5:55 am    Post subject: uae, staring Reply with quote

Racial Inferioty, give me a break......interesting that those words came from you...... Wink
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16063
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, your words speak for themselves. As a woman who lived around the Gulf for many years, I obviously have a right to an opinion. I hadn't noticed that I had any power to stop you from displaying yours too.

VS
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Bindair Dundat



Joined: 04 Feb 2003
Posts: 1123

PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 3:43 pm    Post subject: Re: UAE Reply with quote

blues clues wrote:
I have travelled to many countries....staring out of curiosity is one thing, staring for other reasons is something completely different.


Do you mean that these men are staring because they are fascinated by what they see? Men looking at women because the men are men and the women are women, that sort of thing?

That is quite alarming.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
younggeorge



Joined: 15 Apr 2005
Posts: 350
Location: UAE

PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 3:19 pm    Post subject: It's not perfect, but it's not that bad! Reply with quote

VS seems to have it about right. As half of a mixed marriage myself, and having a mixed-race daughter who spent her teen years here, I think I'm in a pretty good position to comment. Yes, staring is a problem, especially on the beaches - there was a newspaper report just last week of the police moving on a group of about 20 men who were staring at two women in bikinis on a beach at Ajman - but we got similar stares in Brunei and Malaysia, and I find the lager louts on English beaches a lot more worrying.

As for going out at night, we always worried about our daughter staying out late, but did you ever know parents of a teenage daughter who didn't? She often stayed out till the small hours of the morning and always came home safely.

I have two colleagues here who have wives from South Asia: if you'd like to PM me, I'll put you in touch with them. I'm sure they'll say you have no need to worry.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> United Arab Emirates All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2011 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

Road2Spain - TEFL and Spanish with one year student visa
EBC