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Hallowe'en safety tips for North Americans

 
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Capergirl



Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Posts: 1232
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 10:42 am    Post subject: Hallowe'en safety tips for North Americans Reply with quote

Stay safe this Hallowe'en! Twisted Evil

- Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.

- When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

- Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out.

- If your children speak to you in Latin, Sanskrit, or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. Although this seems harsh, it will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note that it will take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

- This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

- As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.

- If you wake up from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren't awake yet.

- Always believe the kid. Even if the kid has lied before, even if you think that the kid has been watching too much TV -- believe the kid.

- If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't stand there sighing with relief GET OUT!

- If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!

- The weirdo is always the one who saw this coming.

- Do not take anything from the dead.

- Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're really sure you know what you're doing.

- If trees, TVs, or other objects try to consume your children, save as many as you can and then get out of the area.

- Never, ever, make fun of the "odd" kid.

- Don't go camping.

- If at any time the house or place you're staying in asks you to get out DON'T argue.

- If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice; more if you are of the female persuasion and/or wearing high heels. If you turn and look back, and you don't see the maniac/spirit/demon/creature chasing you, stop and run immediately back the way you came because the maniac/spirit/demon/ creature is now in front of you.

- Listen to the dying person. They have the best ideas.

- If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, etc., kill them immediately.

- If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, and you think it strange because you were sure you had of a tank, shoot yourself. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.

- Never speak to clowns in sewers.

- Castles are not normally found in the American Midwest. Be wary.

- Beware of strangers bearing strange tools; for example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, laser pistols, Alludium Q-36 explosive space modulators, or any devices made from deceased companions.

- Also, be wary of anyone driving a combine.
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Shonai Ben



Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 587
Location: on the floor

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 10:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never say" I'll be right back" because you won't be.
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 12873
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 12:05 pm    Post subject: Trick or treat Reply with quote

And, for God's sake
DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!!! Great list, Capergirl.
Regards,
John - AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH
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denise



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish

PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2003 9:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Hallowe'en safety tips for North Americans Reply with quote

Capergirl wrote:
Stay safe this Hallowe'en! Twisted Evil

- Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.



Have... you... checked... the children???

Hoo boy, that one still creeps me out! (I guess that's what happens if you see it when you're 8 years old!)

d
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Gordon



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 5309
Location: Japan

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2003 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After seeing your post, just remembered Halloween was yesterday. Embarassed Didn`t even think about it yesterday. No mention of it here at all.
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 12873
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2003 2:30 pm    Post subject: A Masked Ball Reply with quote

Dear Capergirl,
Hey, I had a great Halloween ( I didn't open THAT door, you see ), my first back here in quite a while. But I did open my front door to dozens of trick 'r treaters. Good thing I bought what I'd thought was too much candy; turned out to be just about the right amount. Funniest thing was - I had on a monster mask when I was handing out the treats. This startled a few of the kiddos. But one, a little girl about 4 years old, began to cry only when I took the mask OFF. Hmm - wonder what that means.
Regards,
John
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Capergirl



Joined: 02 Feb 2003
Posts: 1232
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2003 5:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perhaps you should wear the mask more often, Johnslat. Wink

I took my daughter trick-or-treating last night for the first time in her little life. She had a ball. Very Happy We only went to nine houses, but she's got enough junk to last her until Christmas. Laughing

A friend of mine just sent me an email today and was saying that she felt sorry for her niece and nephew who live in Germany (I'm friends with both sisters). She said that in Germany they don't go trick-or-treating Shocked ...poor kiddos don't know the fun they are missing.
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foster



Joined: 07 Feb 2003
Posts: 485
Location: Honkers, SARS

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2003 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just had my first Halloween in Hong Kong...what a BLAST! I miss trick or drinking that we did at home in Saskatchewan, but the HKers really know how to do a do up right. Very Happy Did Halloween for my kids at the high school and they love me now...The NET teacher knows what she is doing. Though, I miss seeing ALL my kids in costume, rather than a cape thrown over a school uniform. Rolling Eyes

Capergirl...great list! So true... Twisted Evil
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 12873
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2003 10:48 pm    Post subject: The Lone Stranger Reply with quote

Dear Capergirl,

" Perhaps you should wear the mask more often, Johnslat."

Well, yeah - I could give it a try. Might improve my love life ( which wouldn't be difficult ). But perhaps I'd better stay out of banks and airports while I've got it on.
" Who WAS that masked man?"
Regards,
John
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