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Students & Teachers - from a STUDENT POV

 
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MindTraveller



Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 89
Location: Oman

PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2003 9:32 am    Post subject: Students & Teachers - from a STUDENT POV Reply with quote

The topic about teachers and students was popular and is now locked. As a student who had two college professors and a doctor 'bother' me, I'd like to talk about it from a STUDENT point of view.

In college, when I was over 21, yes, I did chose to go to bed with a poetry instructor. And yes, in graduate school, I did chose to go to bed with the head of my department (I got so tired of him bothering me, I gave in. I learned later he did this to many female students). And yes, over 21, I did chose to go to bed with a psychiatrist. All three men were married. So yes, I didn't have much of a moral sense about sexuality - back in the late 60s/early 70s. Nor did I have much of a good example of morals at home. Still, I'm responsible for saying 'yes' to these married men.

These expereince taught me to have little or no respect for anyone in a position of power. Only years later have USA-American professors gotten into legal trouble for such behavior.

Why is there a law against teachers and students going out and having sexual relationships? Because it wasn't too long ago, colleges ruled by a Latin phrase that means 'in place of parents' ('in loco prarentis' I think). This trust position is similar to a parental trust situation. To use that power for personal sexual satisfaction is abuse - tantamount to incest.

The second and third cases were most destructive to me consciously. I was nearly run out of town but fought and was able to earn my Masters from the Canadian University. The third case didn't seem harmful consciously - until 7 years later. THEN it backfired on me and nearly drove me over the edge.

Consequently, I have had a generic lack of respect for men, and men in power. This has definitely been harmful to my work relationships. Later, when I looked back on it, I realized I would NEVER had gone to bed with any of the three men if I met them outside the trust situation we were in.

I'm happy there are now more and more laws to protect women - including adult women, from the predatory nature of many men. Just because there isn't a clear-law about this behavior in specific countries, doesn't mean it's right/moral/acceptable or okay. It's definitely not professional. I for one find it disgusting and have lived with the consequences of my own 'youthful' stupidity and the cruel predatory nature of some teachers and doctors.

Because of this, I have always been very careful around students and NOT given into such urges - even if the student was over 21. I would hope teachers would realize this is a PROFESSIONAL set of ethics for teachers. And act accordingly.

Sincerely,
MindTraveller
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zakiah25



Joined: 09 Feb 2003
Posts: 155
Location: Oman

PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2003 11:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You briefly touched on your past family relationship so I was wondering what exactly was your relationship with your father - did you resent him as an authority figure and does this have a bearing on your present attitute to other male authority figures?
By the way, where are you teaching in Oman?
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arioch36



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 3589

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2003 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mind traveller, thanx for putting in a woman's point of view. I'm a guy, but maybe you can tell from my postings, that I destest the casual acceptance of some here of such behaviour. Unfortunately, one such "man" can negatively impact the lives of so many. I have seen it, and it makes me burdened.
from a guy's point of view, though, let me say it is difficult trying to be honorable towards woman, because i sometimes feel it is not respected..ie, nice guys finish last. But this is only true in the short run.
I will shut up more on this post, in the hopes of new voices taking over. Let's hear from more women!
Chris in Henan,
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arioch36



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 3589

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2003 11:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, congratualations on fighting for yourself. One of the things I hate most is how women in some countries, such as Japan are taught they must endure it quietly. it's a long, long road
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wOZfromOZ



Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Posts: 272
Location: Shanghai

PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2003 2:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mind Traveller

These men in your past need to be dealt with dont they?

I'm sure there'll be a time in the 'retrospective' future when these fellas
with their silver tongues and their tenacious 'tackle' will have their day in the courts!!!

Let them then disgorge their litanies of conquest under the cover of 'loco
parentis'. Should make interesting reading

.........but oh - what of their prey ......their victims .......

let us all prey for the 'Leeroys' of this world!!


wOZfromOZ Confused
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MindTraveller



Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 89
Location: Oman

PostPosted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 8:30 pm    Post subject: Students' POV Reply with quote

Since these incidents happened in the 1970s, when there were few, if any, laws, none of the three men were held responsible for their behavior. They got off. That's one reason why I support laws against such behavior.

I would like to propose posting a simple question on the Students' Forum:

"What do you think of teachers who flirt or date their students?"

Would this be OK, Dave?
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