Job Discussion Forums

[daily chai]

Getting back to the original topic of the thread, I'm a woman and have worked in Taipei for two years. I've never had a problem. I don't get into cabs at night without a friend taking down the license plate number. I don't take cabs very often because I drive a moped, anyway. I got a Taiwanese mobile number the second day I arrived, and I would call if I ever felt threatened. I'm cute but I don't get hassled. Fortunately I've never heard/understood catcalls, so I've never been irritated by them. I've never seen anything like the attention men give to women in Italy. If you feel harassed by a man, ignore him, or tell him off in English. He will understand that in any language, and being scolded in English is intimidating. It's worked for me across Europe and Asia, with rude men and women of all ages. People who've been rude know they've done wrong. Stand up for yourself, and you'll feel better. Invariably when I had to set someone straight the listener was embarassed and docile.

On dating--I won't make the assumption a person is looking for a man or a woman. In my experience Chinese men are intimidated by Western women, who for the most part have been raised to be more outspoken then their Chinese counterparts. I dated a guy who went to school in America. Perfect--he was comfortable with Westerners, and we could communicate. His mother cringed that her only son would marry a white person, but he was independent enough that he didn't care. There are gems out there. Curiously, I've met a lot of expat women who claim Asian men aren't attractive. I can't understand it, and I don't know why they would live here if they weren't down with the scene. WorkingVaca is completely correct that many expat men here have a dork factor higher than in the natural habit in the West, and many have an eye only for the local women. But there are plenty of smart guys who would love to have a girlfriend with a similar cultural background and native speaking skills. My male colleagues say they can only go after "one thing" because most of the women they meet have limited language skills. That's why we have work here.

I've met a lot of expat women keen to date other women. Some told me they dated Chinese girls too. You can meet women who want to date women in gay bars, of course; but the expat world is small; and they will know someone you know. Just depends on your comfort factor, and if you're "out." There is a very cool gay scene here, but as in most of the world it's mostly men. The gay bars are very friendly places to go. Male saunas abound and there is no shortage of men in them who are looking for a short-term (1/2 hr?) acquaintance.

Abortion is quite available here in Taiwan. A few friends graduated from high school here, and had lots of stories of classmates who had abortions. I've never seen the Reality condom here. I prefer the brand name to "female" because it is used by the receptive partner; independent of gender. Reality is made of polyurethane and good for those with latex allergies, and provides some protection for contact-transmitted STD's. Male poly condoms might be available here--anyone want to chime in? Many have commented that the condoms here are small. People using condoms would be wise to buy a trusted imported brand (Durex is here everywhere) or Japanese-made condoms. Both have higher quality control than domestic brands. Store them in a cool, dry place or even the "best" latex will distintegrate.

Before any "maintain the status quo" people go off, let me say as a feminist I believe in human rights; that goes for men and women. Men get more privileges than women do, so it's known as "feminism." If it were the other way around, we'd call it something else.

[trukesehammer]

TaoyuanSteve wrote: "...you haven't met the majority of ex-pat males, nor even a signifigant minority (this also assumes you are extremely extroverted and meet more people than average). Please stop the offensive negative stereotyping of male members of the ex-pat community. We are not all the same, nor are 'MANY' of us the same. Just as I don't accept sexist attitudes from guys, I'm not about to accept it from women either (and no the fact that some men engage in such childishness doesn't justify you to follow suit). If you don't think you are excessively generalizing/dehumanising, here's a litmus test: take ex-pat male out of your statements and substitute black, jew, gay or any other group in its place. If you wouldn't make such a generalisation about any other group, then you shouldn't make such statements about mine."

Again, TaoyuanSteve is very wise.

But just to add my $0.02, this kinda crap has been going on for centuries --I mean the whole debate about who should marry whom, "women/men are better in A-B-C Country because of X-Y-&-Z," and "women/men from our native country are such PIGS."

YAAAAAAAAAWN. If this ain't a Same-Old-Sh*t-Different-Day moment, I don't know what is! I mean, CAN WE CHANGE THE FRIGGIN CHANNEL ALREADY?

Cynical, maybe. But my point is BOTH sexes, especially here in the "expat community," need to cut the crap and admit that they routinely screw each other, and I ain't just talking about in bed. It's high time for BOTH SEXES to stop treating each other like toys, playthings, vegetables, animals, treasures, porcelain dolls, etc., and start treating each other like HUMAN BEINGS, DAMMIT! Otherwise, we are due for another millennia of SOSDD.

[Mozilla]

I was at a pub with some mates the other day. We spent the entire time discussing chicks and bragging about conquests. I'm not saying as if there is anything wrong with it, but the guys here that try to act as if that isn't at least a substantial part of why you are here are blowing smoke up your ass.

[trukesehammer]

Mozilla wrote: "the guys here that try to act as if that isn't at least a substantial part of why you are here are blowing smoke up your ass."

Speak for yourself, you young whippersnapper! Sorry, but at my age I'm more interested in a nice siesta rather than another damn fiesta.

[Fortigurn]

[TaoyuanSteve]

"Daily Chai": Working vacation is not correct in her "dork" assessment of ex-pat men and neither are you. You refer to femists. There are many wise and enlightened feminists. I've had the fortune of meeting some of them in academic circles. Judging by your comments, however, you aren't one of them. Feminists, among other things, fight the stereotyping of women. They wouldn't support stereotyping of other groups, either. Your "Dork" name-calling isn't feminism, nor anything close to it. It's a kind of high-schoolish behaviour (why don't you call us nerds while you're at it). I resent being called a dork by you and working vacation (or the implication that it is more likely that I am a dork) based soley on the fact that I am an ex-patmale living here. You haven't met me and, once again, you haven't met the majority of ex-pat males. You have no basis for making such a generalization. You are stereotyping (if you're even aware of the true definition of the word). On the subject of ex-pats dating locals, there is a very rational explanation for that phenomenon. Yes, some men may actually prefer Chinese (but who are you to judge them). More likely, however, they date locals because ex-pat women are rare. More men than women come here and, of those women who do come, very few are unattached. Local women can also ease the culture language barrier for an ex-pat guy. They can make living here alot easier for the ex-pat guys. I don't believe your assertion that ex-pats only have eyes for locals (and I'm uncomfortable with the racism that underlies your observation). I've met ex-pat couples that have met here. If it is rare, it is only a numbers thing. However, you keep right on stereotyping me and the rest of us ex-pat boys with your pseudo-feminism. If you meet Working vacation, pass her a note in gym class.

[matchstick_man]

Working Vaca said there was a dork factor amongst the male ex-pats......and that the males here are losers that she'd never date. Fair enough. There's probably a huge amount of women who wish they'd picked the smart dorky guy she thought was a loser in high school or her early twenties instead of ending up with the guy that was popular in high school or whatever. There's probably a huge amount of women who have grown up and see that the Bill Gates type can be successful.

Personally I've made the assumption that Workingvaca is a fairly recent graduate but it's only an assumption. I've met all kinds in Taiwan both male and female amongst the expats here.

[WorkingVaca]

Sorry matchstick, I�m not looking at LOSERS through glasses the color of my high-school cheerleader uniform. A loser is not "smart" and a little eccentric. Budding Einsteins and Bill Gates' don�t exactly bide their time teaching English, getting drunk and shagging a new xiaojie every week before transforming into greatness.

[matchstick_man]

I was making two assumptions then one that your definition of a dork was the same as mine and the other was stated in the last post. This is a stupid thread as I know a number of ex-pat couples who met while in Taiwan.

[TaoyuanSteve]