Job Discussion Forums

[johnslat]

Here's one for all you conspiracy theorists:

A conspiracy theorist has a heart attack and is rushed to the
hospital. While the doctors are working on him, he sees God and
without a thought asks God "Who shot JFK?"
God looks down at him and says "It was Lee Harvey Oswald, from the
book depository, with a Carcano rifle, alone."
At this point the medical staff manages to jolt him back to life and
he's pulled back to this world.
When his friends come to visit him in the hospital he pulls them close
and says:
"The conspiracy goes higher than we thought."

Regards,
John

[buravirgil]

It’s also interesting to notice who it is we assassinate. You ever notice who it is, got to think who it is we kill? It’s always people who’ve told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, John Lennon, they all said, “Try to live together peacefully.” Bam! Right in the fucking head! Apparently we’re not ready for that.
--George Carlin

[Capt Lugwash]

Archduke Ferdinand? Did he fit the mould?

[likwid_777]

Nope, Mr Ferdinand did not fit that mould. I'm trying to strain my brain, to think of other historical figures who were assassinated and weren't lovely old chaps. I just woke up, so not much is happening. It seems that most of the figures who do meet with assassination were fighting for a good cause. But then again, it's probably more that they get a fuss kicked up and remembered. No one cries a river when a despot is taken out, and no matter how much of an undying arsehole someone is, people aren't really in the practice of celebrating assassins.

Ferdinand isn't remembered because he was a great guy, only because his death "triggered" WWI. Also, let's not forget that heinous pricks will almost always have better security than all round nice guys. Look at that guy who put the briefcase full of explosives under the heavy oak table, due to his suspicions at it being left there. He saved Hitler's life.

Ferdinand's assassination was just a security gaffe, and largely opportunity on the shooter's behalf:

"June 28 was also Franz Ferdinand's wedding anniversary. His beloved wife, Sophie, a former lady-in-waiting, was denied royal status in Austria due to her birth as a poor Czech aristocrat, as were the couple's children. In Bosnia, however, due to its limbo status as an annexed territory, Sophie could appear beside him at official proceedings. On June 28, 1914, then, Franz Ferdinand and Sophie were touring Sarajevo in an open car, with surprisingly little security, when Serbian nationalist Nedjelko Cabrinovic threw a bomb at their car; it rolled off the back of the vehicle and wounded an officer and some bystanders. Later that day, on the way to visit the injured officer, the archduke's procession took a wrong turn at the junction of Appel quay and Franzjosefstrasse, where one of Cabrinovic's cohorts, 19-year-old Gavrilo Princip, happened to be loitering.

Seeing his opportunity, Princip fired into the car, shooting Franz Ferdinand and Sophie at point-blank range. Princip then turned the gun on himself, but was prevented from shooting it by a bystander who threw himself upon the young assassin. A mob of angry onlookers attacked Princip, who fought back and was subsequently wrestled away by the police. Meanwhile, Franz Ferdinand and Sophie lay fatally wounded in their limousine as it rushed to seek help; they both died within the hour."

[JoeKing]

[johnslat]

You are apparently not JoeKing.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history/2013/11/john_f_kennedy_conspiracy_theories_debunked_why_the_magic_b

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/11/22/hugh-aynesworth-has-spent-his-career-debunking-jfk-conspiracy-theories.html

Have there been conspiracies? Surely. But basing my choice on what I've seen of human nature and its foibles, I'll go with the screw-up theory of history much more often than the conspiracy theory.

Regards,
John

[Sashadroogie]

I dunno 'bout you guys, but I really am conspiring to take over the world and usher in utopia. I have a theory too, to help effect this most noble of aims. And History is on my side...

[JoeKing]

[johnslat]

Don't know why I bother, but here's the first link again:

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history/2013/11/john_f_kennedy_conspiracy_theories_debunked_why_the_magic_bullet_and_grassy.html

You believe what you want, and I'll believe what I want. No problem,

Rgards,
John

[JoeKing]

[Sashadroogie]

Poor, lost souls... If only you could read the secret KGB files on this. You'd be shocked to learn how wrong you all are about nearly everything...

[JoeKing]

[johnslat]

Dear JoeKing,

Well, sure he could - but then, he'd have to kill you.

Regards,
John

[JoeKing]

[Sashadroogie]

Да, да! В стенах Кремля хранится секретный файл, где черным по белому написано, что Кеннеди был секретным агентом коммунистической партии. Но он не следовал плану по Карибскому кризису и компартии не оставалось другого выхода, как ликвидировать его. Его должны были убрать ввиду секретности соглашения с инопланетянами, базирующимися на Луне!