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Dealing with anger in VN
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cb400



Joined: 27 Sep 2010
Posts: 274
Location: Vientiane, Laos

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:02 pm    Post subject: Dealing with anger in VN Reply with quote

I've been back in VN for about 2 months and I am finding myself getting more and more angry at stuff that never bothered me before. For example the traffic. It is driving me nuts and I have been taking taxis for the last while to avoid and confrontations with idiots. This means I am walking more, and I now have to deal with the idiots who drive on the side walk and have the nerve to honk like crazy if you are impeding their way. It takes every ounce of self control to stop myself drive just kicking them off (did once) or just slapping them like a red headed step child. The lack of manners and respect in unbelievable and I really feel the angry welling up somedays.

Now I am not really working much (its my choice) and I know too much time on your hands can be bad, and I am not ready to go home as I am working on some projects.

Just wondering what everyone does when the little stuff really starts getting to you... knowing violence is never the answer thought I do believe there is a lot of people out there could use a slap.... I guess myself included time from time.
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water rat



Joined: 30 Aug 2014
Posts: 1083
Location: Ningbo

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You give your location as Vientiane, Laos. Okay, so you've moved and forgot to change it. Can you tell me how to pronounce Vientiane? I can never remember. And are you saying they don't drive as you're describing in Laos? I think they drive like that all over Asia - from Morocco to Saipan even... Am I mistaken?

As for how to deal with your anger, perhaps you need a girlfriend to mellow you out, help you to relieve your stress thorough love, sweet love. Or you could buy some hash.
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Shimokitazawa



Joined: 16 Aug 2009
Posts: 458
Location: Saigon, Vietnam

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Dealing with anger in VN Reply with quote

cb400 wrote:
I've been back in VN for about 2 months and I am finding myself getting more and more angry at stuff that never bothered me before. For example the traffic. It is driving me nuts and I have been taking taxis for the last while to avoid and confrontations with idiots. This means I am walking more, and I now have to deal with the idiots who drive on the side walk and have the nerve to honk like crazy if you are impeding their way. It takes every ounce of self control to stop myself drive just kicking them off (did once) or just slapping them like a red headed step child. The lack of manners and respect in unbelievable and I really feel the angry welling up somedays.

Now I am not really working much (its my choice) and I know too much time on your hands can be bad, and I am not ready to go home as I am working on some projects.

Just wondering what everyone does when the little stuff really starts getting to you... knowing violence is never the answer thought I do believe there is a lot of people out there could use a slap.... I guess myself included time from time.


Your feelings are normal.

Well, try listening to calming music like classical as you walk. Running or even walking for an hour in the morning might help mellow you out a bit before you start your work day.

Cut back on the booze if you're a drinker, the coffee and the fast food. Get a good sleep at night. Drink lots of water.

All fairly straight forward but not always so easy for many people to follow.

You know that you can't change them or the culture, so the only thing you can do is change you or how you choose to respond to it.
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EFL Educator



Joined: 17 Jul 2013
Posts: 933
Location: Cape Town

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 1:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get out of Vietnam....capitalism and human greed have destroyed the place...especially in Hanoi. Cars, motorcycles, bicycles, tricycles vehicles everywhere....my EFL colleagues in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City ALL complain about the traffic....socialism was much better for Vietnam...and the Vietnamese had manners on the road back then! NOW it is everyone for himself!!!!!!! Shocked Shocked Shocked
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cb400



Joined: 27 Sep 2010
Posts: 274
Location: Vientiane, Laos

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2014 2:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shimokitazawa,

Yes you are right. We will not change the VN's and we have to adapt, it seems just recently I am getting really pissed off with all the bad manners and selfhish attitude of the locals. I am fairly health and don't drink often... maybe I need to start Smile

EFL,

I don't want to turn this into a capitalism vs socialism thread as what happened on the Laos thread. I am not in full agreement with that anyway. I really don't care if the Vietnamese have cars, bikes or anything else for that matter pure communism is bound to fail anyway. But racing up on people on the side walk while honking and yelling at them to move? that is beyond belligerent.

I am going to try some sports I use to do back home, anyone know a ju-jitsu club in Saigon?
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kurtz



Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 511
Location: Phaic Tan

PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 11:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You made the fatal mistake of returning. Sure, I might drift by the Vietnam branch from time to time; however, returning to live is not an option; a leopard never changs its spots. I will return for another motorbike trip, but I can't see the cities becoming more liveable; more unliveable more like it. Perhaps it is time to try somewhere new; I am loving my current locale.
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cb400



Joined: 27 Sep 2010
Posts: 274
Location: Vientiane, Laos

PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2014 1:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kurtz wrote:
You made the fatal mistake of returning. Sure, I might drift by the Vietnam branch from time to time; however, returning to live is not an option; a leopard never changs its spots. I will return for another motorbike trip, but I can't see the cities becoming more liveable; more unliveable more like it. Perhaps it is time to try somewhere new; I am loving my current locale.


Unfortunately I think you are right about this. Just not sure about having to start over again.
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EFL Educator



Joined: 17 Jul 2013
Posts: 933
Location: Cape Town

PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The best way to deal with one's anger in Vietnam is to act it out.....that is if you don't want to leave! Next time a motorcycle rider or cyclist or car or Anything tries to run you down on the street use an efficient attack plan...Bruce Lee was good at this...I understand there are a lot of EFL martial artists in Vietnam these days!!! Shocked
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cb400



Joined: 27 Sep 2010
Posts: 274
Location: Vientiane, Laos

PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 10:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

EFL Educator wrote:
The best way to deal with one's anger in Vietnam is to act it out.....that is if you don't want to leave! Next time a motorcycle rider or cyclist or car or Anything tries to run you down on the street use an efficient attack plan...Bruce Lee was good at this...I understand there are a lot of EFL martial artists in Vietnam these days!!! Shocked


Drunk?
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likwid_777



Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 411
Location: NA

PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2014 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

cb400 wrote:
EFL Educator wrote:
The best way to deal with one's anger in Vietnam is to act it out.....that is if you don't want to leave! Next time a motorcycle rider or cyclist or car or Anything tries to run you down on the street use an efficient attack plan...Bruce Lee was good at this...I understand there are a lot of EFL martial artists in Vietnam these days!!! Shocked


Drunk?


Not pissed, more a piss take I reckon. Haha. Hopefully if such ESLers exist, they have the sense to take it out on each other, not on Vietnamese folk hahaha.
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EFL Educator



Joined: 17 Jul 2013
Posts: 933
Location: Cape Town

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 9:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My advice is if the traffic madness REALLY gets to you in Vietnam act out your anger in the privacy of your room...lock the door and chain yourself to the wall...then start shouting and screaming as loud as you can...YOU might get some attention but I doubt it!!!!! Laughing
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Oh My God



Joined: 31 Jan 2010
Posts: 273

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2014 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My old ex-partner posted this and it's a bit dated:

http://forums.eslcafe.com/job/viewtopic.php?t=74976&highlight=defensive+driving+101

The SaigonESL link is gone which was the meat of the thread but the other links still work and some postings show a similar frustration with traffic.

but I have to interject "when in Rome...?"
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ExpatLuke



Joined: 11 Feb 2012
Posts: 743

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2014 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd suggest moving to a city that isn't quite that bad. Danang is nice. People do drive on the sidewalks a bit, but it's nothing like in Saigon. In Danang the roads are much bigger and more modern, and locals often times actually use the sidewalks for walking. Crazy concept in Vietnam, I know.

I dunno, I like Saigon more than Hanoi, but Danang is the best in terms of relaxation and letting the anger drift away at the beach.
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cb400



Joined: 27 Sep 2010
Posts: 274
Location: Vientiane, Laos

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
"when in Rome...?"


I am familiar with this saying of course and no way am I going to act or drive like the Vietnamese. Yelling and shouting when you want something, driving like an idiot with no regard for the lives of others around you and generally treating others (except family and close friends) like shit is not the way I was raised.

I've been driving a car around this week and realized that 90% of the honking is just unnecessary and seems just about some *beep* who wants everyone to clear out of their way... even when the traffic can't move idiots still honk thinking it will help... where does this stupid habit come from?

Another rant while I am at it: Very Happy

"do you have small money" whenever I pay with a 500000 note. NO I DONT HAVE FUKTING SMALL MONEY, your ATM gives only 500000 notes out and your prices are stupid.. 58 000.... just round the goddam number up to 60000 and it will be easier to make change.....

*okay will breath now....
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EFL Educator



Joined: 17 Jul 2013
Posts: 933
Location: Cape Town

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2014 4:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

During the Socialist era the Vietnamese had manners, morals and ethics...that all changed when they embraced ultra neo capitalism....the result of this especially on the road when it is everyone for himself HONK HONK HONK and MONEY is the new God and where personal human greed (manure) comes first!!!! Welcome to the NEW Vietnam and enjoy the HONKITY HONK BEEP BEEP TRAFFIC NOISE!!!!!!!!! Shocked Shocked Shocked
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