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PROS and CONS about having a Russian boyfriend -
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Castro



Joined: 14 May 2003
Posts: 57
Location: still Russia

PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 1:28 pm    Post subject: PROS and CONS about having a Russian boyfriend - Reply with quote

PROS and CONS about having a Russian boyfriend -

+ He will open doors for you, bring you flowers and chocolate, and when you want to sit, he will always find a seat for you on the metro.
- If you want to sit on the ground he freak out and yell something about your ovaries becoming sterile.

+ When you are ill, he will wrap you up, care for you, and give you all sorts of yummy traditional medicines made from honey.
- When he is ill he will just drink five times as much vodka as normal.

+ He will know all the cool places to go out in the city and have lots of friends to hang out with.
- His friends are sure to be of the 'real Russian man' variety.

PROS and CONS about having a Russian girlfriend ......
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Communist Smurf



Joined: 24 Jun 2003
Posts: 330
Location: San Francisco

PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2004 6:31 pm    Post subject: PROS and CONS about having a Russian girlfriend Reply with quote

+They're easy to meet if you're a foreigner.
-Despite what you've heard, they aren't willing to marry you no matter what and who you are to gain citizenship to your country.

(I point this out more as a warning/reality check than a pro/con.)

+Unlike American women, they allow you to be courteous/a gentleman.
-Despire any reasoning you might do with them in regard to the relative costs associated, they demand you buy them flowers atleast twice per month! Even though you've known eachother for a year now.

+They respect the differences between men and women: anti-feminist (unless you're in Petersburg with bobs12).
-Sometimes they change their mind and say you need to do an equal amount of house-cleaning even though you're the only employed person in the house.

+They can think for themselves and have great personalities (I say this because in my experience in other countries, women seem to be very predictable and simple).
-They can think for themselves and are very stubborn in the face of mountains of reason.

+They're pretty hot!!! Twisted Evil
-They know it... Evil or Very Mad

CS
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bobs12



Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 310
Location: Saint Petersburg

PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2004 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Huh, thanks for reminding me Smurf Wink

+ When you're ill, they let you take care of them and wrap them up and buy them flowers.
- When they're ill, they stubbornly refuse to go to a doctor, even when they're writhing around and screaming in pain at two o'clock in the morning and you're worried the neighbours will call the police.

+ They're fairly sensible with their money.
- They're not in the least bit sensible with your money. If they find out how much you earn, you find yourself obliged to spend every last penny for fear of not 'valuing' them enough. If you don't earn enough, they'll find you a weekend job working 24 hour shifts. Sad

+ They look after their figures.
- Until they reach the babushka threshold.

+ They can do stuff that you can't. Laughing Like getting information out of Russians over the phone.
- They expect a 600% return on any effort spent on your behalf, like driving them the whole way across the city and back in rush hour traffic in return for washing the dishes (after you cooked dinner)

+ They can be very tolerant of your ex girlfriends coming to the door in the middle of the night.
- You know that anyone referred to as a 'friend' and not a 'girlfriend' or 'acquaintance' is someone she's slept with Shocked
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jpvanderwerf2001



Joined: 02 Oct 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: New York

PostPosted: Sat Aug 14, 2004 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
+ They look after their figures.
- Until they reach the babushka threshold.


Wow. This might be another topic all together, but I had to comment. What is with this phenomenon?! How is it possible that these gorgeous women end up as the babushka? I remember while living in Ukraine my friends and I would try to find the "missing link" between jaw-dropping 18-30 year olds and babushkas.
Any sightings of the fabled CIS "missing link"?
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Cookie Monster



Joined: 06 Jan 2004
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:47 am    Post subject: Re: PROS and CONS about having a Russian boyfriend - Reply with quote

Castro wrote:
PROS and CONS about having a Russian boyfriend -

- If you want to sit on the ground he freak out and yell something about your ovaries becoming sterile.



To be fair, you never know. If you live in northern Ukraine or Belarus, this may well be true!

As for "Where do all the beautiful women go?"; I heard a rumour that they get sent to Scandinavia in exchange for car parts.
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zaneth



Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 545
Location: Between Russia and Germany

PostPosted: Mon Aug 16, 2004 8:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sterile ovaries is it? I never could get a straight answer from my wife as to why she wouldn't sit on the ground. I got the distinct impression that I was stupid for not already knowing.

I don't even bother pointing out that women in America sit on the ground. I'm sure she'd have an answer for that.

Russian feminism is alive and well. Women are smarter than men. That's why men have to do things for women. Feminism.
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Communist Smurf



Joined: 24 Jun 2003
Posts: 330
Location: San Francisco

PostPosted: Tue Aug 17, 2004 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

zaneth wrote:
Sterile ovaries is it? I never could get a straight answer from my wife as to why she wouldn't sit on the ground. I got the distinct impression that I was stupid for not already knowing.


I got the exact same thing.

I've heard from a few different people that feminism in Russian is actually almost a bad word. So when this subject came up I asked my girlfriend if she knew what it was. Her response was, "It's when women hate men." Then she just blankly stared at me as I was expecting a further explination -- which I didn't get. It was almost like asking a child where babies come from and the response you get is, "from the stork."

CS
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bobs12



Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 310
Location: Saint Petersburg

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2004 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just try telling her that flowers are expensive. You'll get the response, "you don't love me, I'm not worth a bunch of flowers to you." You explain that where you come from it's considered insulting if a girl values your relationship in terms of flowers per month. She then goes crazy at you for mentioning another girl. Then you try to explain that you just don't earn enough to be able to fritter money away on things that only look pretty for a few days before they die. She'll tell you that Russians buy their girlfriends flowers every week. You tell her that Russians live a lot cheaper and don't pay the same rent that you do, and aren't trying to save money for the future. She bursts into tears at the thought of you preferring to save money than spend it all on her. You explain that if you ever want to get out of the slum you're living in, you can't afford to buy flowers. She then says that if you loved her, you'd live with her in a помойка if you had to. Stuck for a response, you explain that you need to pay for a ridiculously expensive visa every year, and that if she loved you and didn't want you to have to leave the country on account of being unable to afford your next visa, she wouldn't ask you to buy her flowers. She then says you can get the money from your credit card. You then explain that that is even more expensive. She then reminds you that you have parents. You explain that where you come from children are generally financially independent from their parents by the time they leave university. Next, in a fit of rage and Russian female logic she says 'you don't love me if your visa is more important to you than me,' at which point you are so confused and heartbroken at your beloved's materialism and total lack of common sense that you stand up and walk away, intending never to return. Alack and alas, the girl is wise. Some poor beggar, probably another hapless foreigner, has pulled this move on her before, and she's not letting this one get away. Faster than a buttered блин at масленица, she pounces on you and puts you in a half-nelson, frantically gibbering away through choking tears about how she's never going to let you go and how she loves you more than any other man etc. etc. ad nauseum, but still not relenting on the flower issue.
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zaneth



Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 545
Location: Between Russia and Germany

PostPosted: Wed Aug 25, 2004 10:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dude...

And I thought I had it bad.
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bobs12



Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 310
Location: Saint Petersburg

PostPosted: Thu Aug 26, 2004 7:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wonder how many countries in the world have girls that walk out in front of buses when you try to break up with them Shocked
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Trojan Horse



Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 61
Location: Europe

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 8:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The plus side:
well, some things I just can't write here. Try them, you'll like them Wink

They notice and love every small attempt you make to be feminine

They clean the oven, carry out the rubbish, lug your suitcase around for you, rub smelly weird mixtures onto you when you get a cold, they help you in and out of buses like you're a little old lady (but come on , it's nice and we LIKE it!)

They're generous

They're intelligent, well-educated and they make you laugh
-----------------------
The bad side:
They have at least one gold tooth

They are overly concerned with your health and have lots of quacky sounding ideas to try out on you

They will cause a scene if they catch you outdoors without a hat and scarf

They will explain jokes to you

They will beat you with a birch branch in the sauna
-----------------------
Depending on your taste this can be good or bad:
They read poems to you, they talk about love and emotions all the time, they stick to you like glue - accompanying you everywhere, even to the hairdressers for fear of you meeting another man on the way
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bobs12



Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 310
Location: Saint Petersburg

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 10:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Took a moment to register that we were talking about men there!

I was just talking about this with my Slovenian friend (girl) this morning and she said yes, it's nice to be reminded that you're a woman, but it's also nice to have some breathing space. Eg being allowed to light your own cigarettes, walk to the bar unaccompanied, etc. Same with girls in a way- the main thing they do to make you feel like a 'real' man is to leave you to do anything that requires the least bit of discomfort or physical effort (don't start about childbirth, that ain't gonna happen!).

They stick to you like glue until they get an invitation to somewhere they want to go alone, for example to Ivan's place for a 'cup of coffee' in the middle of the night.

Just you try going anywhere without her, even to a lads' night out, and God help you if you want to visit any female friends. And if you do visit said female firends, and the lady comes along, you can be sure she'll sit there taking notes to be used against you as evidence at a later date. Don't smile too much. Don't laugh at your friend's jokes. Don't make eye contact too much, etc. etc...

And if she ever finds a picture of a girl who isn't her (I had great fun once explaining why I was hugging my sister in a photograph Rolling Eyes ), or an old Valentine's card from an enamoured ex-student (depending on the content, you may or may not get away with the sister story)...

Russian girls like drama- (what about guys, I wonder?) they like to be the centre of attention (even the shy ones) whether for good reasons or bad, and they will turn a fart into a storm if it so pleases them. The worst part is that you can never predict the response to any given sleight, be it a moment of inattention (forgetting to open the car door) or a playful jibe (I'm not the one who's going to turn into a babushka, etc.) One day she'll laugh herself sick, the next she'll threaten to throw herself from the balcony.

Oh yeah... what's with Russian teeth anyway? I once met a girl who only had two fillings. One on the top jaw, one on the bottom, like grotesque little amalgam horseshoes. The thought of spending your life with a girl who's going to be cleaning her teeth in the sink by the time she hits thirty isn't so appealing...
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Trojan Horse



Joined: 30 Dec 2003
Posts: 61
Location: Europe

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 11:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No wonder they like foreign partners, eh? Crikey. There's not enough room for two prima donnas in one home!

Last edited by Trojan Horse on Mon Aug 30, 2004 8:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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bobs12



Joined: 27 Apr 2004
Posts: 310
Location: Saint Petersburg

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 1:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trojan Horse wrote:
No wonder they like foreign partners, eh? Crikey. There's not enough room for two prima donnas in one home! ...

... In the beginning he used to insist on me leaving the bathroom door open!


Yikes! My ex refused to go out with Russian guys- maybe that's why! As for the bathroom- that's just terrified insecurity. Yuck! My ex ex didn't insist, but used to get offended if I locked the bathroom door. Later she got huffy (albeit playfully, but there's usually something in that) if I went for a pee without her... Shocked

Okay, that's way too much detail. Embarassed But hell, that's life.

As for reminders cropping up- imagine the delight on my girlfriend's face when I turn on the computer and there's a user profile with her name on it... then the dismay when she realises that it's another girl with the same name. Part of the Russian lack-of-names statistic. You'd think there'd be enough surnames to go round though, wouldn't you? Hah, think again. That's something she'll never find out.
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Tiger Beer



Joined: 08 Feb 2003
Posts: 754
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Fri Aug 27, 2004 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Communist Smurf wrote:
I've heard from a few different people that feminism in Russian is actually almost a bad word. So when this subject came up I asked my girlfriend if she knew what it was. Her response was, "It's when women hate men." Then she just blankly stared at me as I was expecting a further explination -- which I didn't get.

Pretty common outside of North America and Western Europe.

I'm studying in an international graduate program in Europe. Most of the women from latin America and Asia just shun the ultra feminist woman in this program. They just don't get and don't want to hear about the entire feminist discourse about how men are evil and horrible creatures that should be burned at stakes alive (or whatever it the western feminists are insisting on).
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