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'Love' question
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KopiKopi



Joined: 01 May 2011
Posts: 49

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:16 pm    Post subject: 'Love' question Reply with quote

Hmm. How do I put this delicately? Should I be worried if the husband of the woman I was sleeping with found out and threatened to kill me? Is adultery illegal if you are the one that is not married?
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chezal



Joined: 25 Feb 2009
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well I'm not sure if it's illegal but I would be extremely worried about the husband. It's surprisingly cheap to have someone seen to in Indonesia. I've seen the worst happen to a friend (when I say worst they aren't here any more and it wasn't pleasant)over money issues among other things.

Why you are messing around with a married woman is beyond me. That's just asking for a headache and heart ache. If I were you I'd be saying bye bye to the relationship for sure.
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eddie honda



Joined: 18 Feb 2005
Posts: 59

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yes it is illegal Shocked

from the jak globe: "Article 284 of the Criminal Code clearly states that extramarital affairs are “a crime by accusation” — this means it can be prosecuted only if the affected spouse files a complaint with police."
Confused

*edit* actually i dunno if that applies to both parties or only the married one...
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beefer



Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 238
Location: java

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

it is illegal......prison terms max at 9 months........ its a criminal offense not civil .... it also depends on whenther the married couple were married via the religious system or the civil.....the punishments in both courts are pretty much similar but the religious courts tend to come down harder on matters such as these......

this of course totally depends on whether the husband divorces his wife for adultery..... if he doesnt then there isnt too much he can actually do to you ...but as mentioned in an earlier post- the husband taking care of you on his own happens all too frequently in this country.....
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beefer



Joined: 10 Feb 2006
Posts: 238
Location: java

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

just a quick add on to my previous post....

the husband can actually criminally charge his wife with adultery and not divorce her.....however to do this, he needs to provide the court with "real " proof of the offense.....that would probably require your testimony ... without such evidence, there are too many loopholes the wife could slip through...any good lawyer would advise him of that ....... again though, i would be more concerned about what he will do to you personally rather than criminally
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Atoms for Peace



Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 133
Location: NKRI

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We are all jumping to conclusions here. Article 284 of the Crininal Code only refers to men with wives or women with husbands. The original poster did not specify his or her gender. If Kopikopi is of the fairer sex, then sleeping with somebody's wife presents no legal problems.

Conversely, if Kopikopi is of the male persuasion and the threats from the aggrieved husband become too onerous, then a discreet visit to a clinic in, say, Bangkok would enable him to dispense with legal annoyances, albeit at a price...
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KopiKopi



Joined: 01 May 2011
Posts: 49

PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 4:55 pm    Post subject: Thanks Reply with quote

Oh, I am male.

The woman told me that her and her husband were separated, but could not get a divorce because she is Catholic. Seems that the husband was just working out of the country.

Yeah, my best (bule) friend in Indonesia was murdered in Palembang, so I know the violence.

Too bad. I love Indonesia, but don't want to stay if too dangerous LEGALLY.
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godmachine12



Joined: 06 Feb 2009
Posts: 54

PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:52 am    Post subject: Re: Thanks Reply with quote

KopiKopi wrote:

Yeah, my best (bule) friend in Indonesia was murdered in Palembang, so I know the violence.


There's Palembang and its bad reputation again. I've been here for a bit over two years and it's somewhat true. There are some rough spots and characters here. Might I ask what happened and when?
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KopiKopi



Joined: 01 May 2011
Posts: 49

PostPosted: Tue Aug 30, 2011 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in Indonesia for over two years. I am now back in the US.

About my best friend in Palembang, he was bashed in the head and found dead in a hotel room. His photo (nude) was in the local paper. It is a shame. He was in no way a saint, but he lived in Indonesia for 19 years, spoke Indonesian, Sudanese and Javanese fluently and was well loved (and well-hated) by many Indonesians and foreigners.

If you have been in Indonesia for any amount of time, I am sure you have crossed paths with this Australian.
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Llamalicious



Joined: 11 May 2007
Posts: 150
Location: Rumah Makan Sederhana

PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

RIP Dave.
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bluetortilla



Joined: 18 Apr 2006
Posts: 651
Location: Guangzhou, China

PostPosted: Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been seriously thinking of teaching in Indonesia, especially Sumatra. Just how common is this sort of 'being murdered' or otherwise physically damaged activity?

Is it dangerous to be known among your neighbors as a (non-proselytizing) church attending Christian?

What makes you the object of anger?

Is street crime violent?

Aside from the infamous past, is police/military brutality commonplace these days?

I come from the US and have lived in the inner cities. I've seen/heard of my share of that sort of violence and don't care to be around it again. If minding your own business, respecting people, and being adequately cautious at night keeps you safe, that's fine. In St. Louis on the other hand I've seen a person 'capped' just for the heck of it, my friend found a cadaver in the park one morning while walking his dog, and I've been threatened with being shot for no reason several times while riding my bicycle. No thanks!

I really hope these are extremely naive and alarmist questions.
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KopiKopi



Joined: 01 May 2011
Posts: 49

PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, there is quite a bit of violence in Indonesia now. Violent brawls and attacks are getting more and more common. I would not suggest anyone teach in Indonesia, if they do not have a really good reason to do so.

It is a shame. I spent time there, on and off, since 2002. I see another 1998 coming, and I am glad I was not there for the first 1998.

Hope this helps.
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KopiKopi



Joined: 01 May 2011
Posts: 49

PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 7:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Unanswered questions, sorry.

Violent street crime?

Some. Not as much as in the US. The problem is not so much the frequency of such crimes, it is that as a bule you are easily targeted, IF such crime happens. Indonesia is more a country of corruption, rather than robbery. Indonesians are generally pxussies, except in large mobs. Police in Indonesia are worthlessly corrupt and do nothing. But, get a group of housewives together and these mobs run away.

How to avoid being a target?

Change your skin color, language, (relative) wealth
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rayman



Joined: 24 May 2003
Posts: 423

PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 9:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
How to avoid being a target?

Change your skin color, language, (relative) wealth


More of an alarmist response from kopikopi, than alarmist questions I would say.

Westerners are not generally targeted with any violent street crimes. Any fighting you're likely to see is generally the result of feuding taxi/bus/angkot drivers or the catching and lynching of thieves.

Westerners that get in to violent trouble with locals here are generally of a certain breed. That is, loud, brash and in no way attune to the local culture.

If you maintain a degree of respect and go about your way in a quiet manner, you're chances of getting into trouble of a violent nature is extremely small.

I can only see 2 exceptions;

1. Western females in Jakarta that are more commonly the target of ambush robberies in taxis. But even that can be avoided by dressing down, at which ESL teachers are already adept.

2. Home burglaries gone wrong. This is a real threat to anyone living in a house, particularly in Jakarta and Bali. Security measures along the perimeter and your weapon of choice (taser/pepper spray/samurai sword) under the bed are probably not extreme measures.
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drandreasbrown



Joined: 06 Nov 2008
Posts: 34

PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 5:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't found it dangerous, and I've been here for almost 5 years. I had my phone nicked once, but compared to Australia (where my house has been robbed 6 times, and I've been mugged twice) here is very safe. The traffic, on the other hand...
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