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Daveyboy



Joined: 11 Sep 2005
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 4:37 am    Post subject: edit Reply with quote

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helenl



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 1184

PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 5:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are many men who teach at the universities and colleges in UAE.

As for trouble, you follow a few simple rules to avoid it - you do not touch a female student, ever. You avoid being alone with a female student - if you have an office, you leave the door open. As anywhere, you do not make off colour or harrassing remarks to ANY student.
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veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16066
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2012 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Commonly happens... I would add to helen1's advice to never compliment them on any of their possessions or clothing. (suggests that you are looking at them too much)

Another detail is that they will flirt outrageously with you, but never respond to it... other than in a 'fatherly' sort of way. Cool Just be aware that it means nothing.

In two cases over the years there were "situations" when the male teacher was young (early 30's) and very good looking. In each case the teacher went to admin immediately when he realized that he had a serious admirer, not just play flirting. In one case, her brothers came after him... in the other, he was getting multiple love notes every day (pre-internet). In the first case, the teacher was moved to a men's college in another city and in the other, the teacher decided to leave when the academic year ended.

It is a mine field, but if you are an average looking, middle-aged man, it is mainly amusing... and probably flattering to the ego.

VS
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Van Gogh



Joined: 12 Oct 2008
Posts: 64

PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 7:10 pm    Post subject: My Experience at HCT - Soon to be a Best Selling Novel Reply with quote

Wallah! I’ve been waiting ages this question…

I had the pleasure of teaching 'banaat' (girls) for five years at an HCT college, and believe me after a few years teaching the 'Shabab' (lads) it was a wonderful experience. On the whole, the girls smell nicer, look nicer and work harder. It was a joy to go out on work placement and see female students working and making a difference in the community. In class, I did not treat them much differently than I had the lads. I called then guys, or ‘team’, and occasionally to be sarcastic ‘ladies’. I praised them when they were good and bollocked them when they were bad. leaving the smarter students to sort out a bad, naughty, lazy girls, Emirati style.

Compliments; My student and I often had ‘best shayla and abbaya of the week' awards each Wednesday, were I COMPLIMENTED (Oh no! gasp! fire him!) on their lovely head dresses and batgirl outfits, with chocolate and cake being the prize for all. I always looked them in the eye, smiled at them all, made them laugh and often as need be made a fair few of them cry when they crossed me.

I had the occasional love letter from a student, which I thanked her for, photocopied it and gave it back, winking at her each time we passed in the corridor. It was all part of the HCT game of survival as all she wanted was acknowledgment she was a woman. I never rarely touched a student but had a fair few touch, squeeze, prod, and once even want to arm wrestle me. It was give and take, not one went further than they wanted, many went farther than I was comfortable with. Only once did I have to seek advice from my Head of English, a lovely lady, much attacked at HCT, and her advice was, Do what you think best and I’ll support you. The student, who covered fully, wanted to give me her virginity. I mulled this over and suggested she arrange everything, the taxis, the hotel and assured her I would need a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label for the occasion, she lost heart after a fortnight of plotting and scheming via secret meetings in the in the library. HCT survival technics.

My advice to any chaps working with female students is this. You tread a tightrope from day one, you already have one foot at the airport so relax, treat your ladies as people, let them call the shots, mark the boundaries, the ball is always in their court. Laugh a lot, tell silly jokes, and recognised their new found independence, you will be richly awarded in humour, an insight into their world and more chocolate that you can shake a stick at. Flirt when needs be, carrot and stick when must, but always be ready to forgive. What happens in the classroom, stays in the classroom.

Oh! And for the love of God, never, never listen to the sad old dames in the staff room who have lost touch with, or never had daughters, and who tell you that you student’s heart-warming feelings mean nothing.

Enjoy. PM with your thoughts, Be candid and I’ll tell you more or you can wait for my new book, ‘Confessions of an EFL Teacher’.
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veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16066
Location: USA

PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 7:48 pm    Post subject: Re: My Experience at HCT - Soon to be a Best Selling Novel Reply with quote

Van Gogh wrote:
Oh! And for the love of God, never, never listen to the sad old dames in the staff room who have lost touch with, or never had daughters, and who tell you that you student’s heart-warming feelings mean nothing.

Just be aware that the delusions could very well be on your side in many cases. As someone who has known a significant number of Arab women... of various ages, nationalities, and degrees of religious rule breaking... they are life-long seriously flirtatious... and dedicated to making every single man they meet feel as if they are THE GREATEST EVER. (while behind their back they tell the other women that said man is an ignorant toad and they sincerely feel terribly sorry for their wife Laughing) They are masters at this, and it was always fun watching them wrap the male teachers around their little fingers.

While those "heart-warming" feelings from your students may be sincere, she may just as likely be mainly making sure that her grade was as high as possible. Cool You would probably be shocked and amazed at some of the discussions in the classes of the women teachers.

Quote:
You tread a tightrope from day one, you already have one foot at the airport so relax, treat your ladies as people, let them call the shots, mark the boundaries, the ball is always in their court. Laugh a lot, tell silly jokes, and recognised their new found independence, you will be richly awarded in humour, an insight into their world and more chocolate that you can shake a stick at. Flirt when needs be, carrot and stick when must, but always be ready to forgive.

This is great advice... for both men and women teachers. And yes... the girls also flirt with the women teachers. The main difference is that we don't have to worry about physical contact. Hand-holding, hugs, and lots of cheek-kissing all acceptable for us.

Quote:
What happens in the classroom, stays in the classroom.

Therein lies the rub. Because there is always the risk of them running to admin... or their brothers. And you will often not know when or where you crossed that invisible line.

Are you really doing a novel? If so, please let us all know. I'd love to read it. Each of us has a different experience in the Gulf and few men have written about it... factually or fictionalized.

VS
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Van Gogh



Joined: 12 Oct 2008
Posts: 64

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:08 am    Post subject: Confessions of EFL Teacher an (Surviving HCT) Reply with quote

I was thinking something along the lines of: Shades of HCT – Desperate Students - The Yanni and the Restless and The Banaat & the Beautiful.
I'll send you a signed copy, VS

Launching and signing at Dubai /Sharjah Women with H Reed as MC.
Date -TBN
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veiledsentiments



Joined: 20 Feb 2003
Posts: 16066
Location: USA

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can hardly wait!! Laughing

You must get Howie to write a blurb for the book jacket.

VS
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 12743
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Soon to be a major motion picture Very Happy - oops, more riots Twisted Evil

Regards,
John
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