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Dave Chance
Joined: 30 May 2011
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="John Stamos jr."]
Dave Chance wrote: |
John Stamos jr. wrote: |
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Considering how underreported rape is in the first place, it falls in line that most women aren't likely to go around telling people about these kinds of traumatic experiences. A different girl told me that her friend was virgin raped as a teenager. And, as a result, she was so terrified about raped of her own virginity, that she asked a male friend to go ahead and get it over with. It seems to be a pretty prevalent issue here.[/quote] |
U gotta be kidding with this one... |
K dudes be raping... |
Yeah but giving it up to a friend 'cos they're afraid to lose their virginity to a rapist? Can't imagine that it's that widespread of a practice. |
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John Stamos jr.
Joined: 07 Oct 2012 Location: Namsan
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Posted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:23 pm Post subject: |
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[quote="Dave Chance"]
John Stamos jr. wrote: |
Dave Chance wrote: |
John Stamos jr. wrote: |
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Considering how underreported rape is in the first place, it falls in line that most women aren't likely to go around telling people about these kinds of traumatic experiences. A different girl told me that her friend was virgin raped as a teenager. And, as a result, she was so terrified about raped of her own virginity, that she asked a male friend to go ahead and get it over with. It seems to be a pretty prevalent issue here.[/quote] |
U gotta be kidding with this one... |
K dudes be raping... |
Yeah but giving it up to a friend 'cos they're afraid to lose their virginity to a rapist? Can't imagine that it's that widespread of a practice. |
Oh... yeah, that was definitely weird, but I'm not even sure she went through with it.
And I must have written that too fast, I did NOT mean to say that virgin k girls sleeping with guys because they're afraid of being raped as a virgin was prevalent. Just rape itself. That's just how one girl I used to know explained her line of thinking when her friend told her what had happened to her.
Last edited by John Stamos jr. on Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:11 am; edited 1 time in total |
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byrddogs
Joined: 19 Jun 2009 Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 12:05 am Post subject: |
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Dodge7 wrote: |
Squire wrote: |
timhorton wrote: |
Driving a taxi is one of few jobs that Korean (or others) ex-cons can get. It would be fair to assume that many taxis are being driven by them. If out late at night I suggest staying at motel vs getting in a taxi...in Korea or elsewhere. And always (i.e. getting taxi late at night or anytime) have the cellphone in your hand and ready to dial 112. They can track your location even if they can't understand English. |
Good advice. If I sent a girl home in a taxi I would possibly ask that she call me after getting in and stay on the phone until she arrives |
Lol, now that's just borderline uptight and paranoid. |
Well, by that logic D7 you'd be calling a lot of people uptight and paranoid most likely. My ex absolutely refused to take a taxi alone after dark. That was one of the main reasons I bought a car in Korea. |
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s.tickbeat
Joined: 21 Feb 2010 Location: Gimhae
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:28 am Post subject: |
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Yeah but giving it up to a friend 'cos they're afraid to lose their virginity to a rapist? Can't imagine that it's that widespread of a practice. |
It's way more common than you'd think. I know a few women who've done it, but I think it speaks more to how messed up our ideas of female sexuality are than to how much of a danger rape is.
Not that assault and harassment aren't constant, in-your-face, all the time. But it's no better to be assaulted *after* having consensual sex than it is to be assaulted *before* having consensual sex. |
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Seoulman69
Joined: 14 Dec 2009
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:09 am Post subject: |
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But it's no better to be assaulted *after* having consensual sex than it is to be assaulted *before* having consensual sex. |
True. It's never a good time to be raped. Tougher punishments for rapists and criminal background checks for taxi drivers should be introduced asap. |
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jvalmer
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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s.tickbeat wrote: |
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Yeah but giving it up to a friend 'cos they're afraid to lose their virginity to a rapist? Can't imagine that it's that widespread of a practice. |
It's way more common than you'd think. I know a few women who've done it, but I think it speaks more to how messed up our ideas of female sexuality are than to how much of a danger rape is.
Not that assault and harassment aren't constant, in-your-face, all the time. But it's no better to be assaulted *after* having consensual sex than it is to be assaulted *before* having consensual sex. |
On top of that girls are expected to put on an act of resistance their first time too. Even if they really want to, 'good girls' are supposed to resist. |
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Yaya
Joined: 25 Feb 2003 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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Gwangju and the Jeolla provinces are supposedly infamous for their men, who try to act as masculine as can be. I've heard from Koreans that the region has a large mob presence and such, not to mention people who will try to use you without shame.
Perhaps female teachers might wanna avoid the Jeolla area when applying for jobs. |
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julian_w
Joined: 08 Sep 2003 Location: Somewhere beyond Middle Peak Hotel, north of Middle Earth, and well away from the Middle of the Road
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 7:01 am Post subject: |
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Yaya wrote: |
Gwangju and the Jeolla provinces are supposedly infamous for their men, who try to act as masculine as can be. I've heard from Koreans that the region has a large mob presence and such, not to mention people who will try to use you without shame.
Perhaps female teachers might wanna avoid the Jeolla area when applying for jobs. |
Oh good grief. The cliched game of perpetuation of blaming the victim's just skipped from one context to another.
Look, as someone who's lived in the Seoul area, two parts of Gyeongsando, and in Gwangju for many years, my take is that people are people, there's hardly any difference in either fashion or societal attitudes these days between the different regions because there's so much unity brought about by the 'net and the bloody TV, and the only real difference I can see is that the taxi drivers in Gwangju are more willing to chat with a white guy. (A friend who is Indonesian had a very different experience of riding in taxis here than did I, despite his flawless Korean language skills.)
So, from chatting with all the Koreans I have about it over the last twelve years, I reckon the rest of the country seems to enjoy perpetuating the myth set about in 1980 when Gwangju was the first to react to the draconian treatment it received at the hands of the then military dictatorship. This was well before cellphones and internet, movement around the country was already restricted in those days, and so when the uprising against the ex-army police reinforcements took place it was relatively easy to put about the rest of the country that Jeolla people were more violent and quick to get temperamental.
Both divide and rule, and blaming the victim are very old dirty tricks. It was seven years later that uprisings finally occurred in other major centers. Behaviour is often cyclical. Bullying occurs in the culture (just like my own birthplace), wherever it originates; likely the military is one major source. The significant widespread uprising against male violence seems yet to occur locally. Any potential local feminist movement seems to have been derailed by the false promise of sexual power as promised by cosmetic surgery and false idea of freedom as suggested by western TV shows and cars.
In the meantime, yes, this whole discussion is the result of what we suppose - and hope - is a relatively unusual event in the form of a sexual assault on an English teacher. Others have already established above how widespread is sexual assault toward local females, and I hope most of us here know what *some* SEA brides and 3D workers have had to go through within the country. So, I think and suggest it'd be helpful if we can avoid less relevant stereotypes, especially of the provincial variety; there are much more valid targets for that kind of generalization.
... Unless you're talking about whitie Australians. ... Or whitie New Zealanders. They're both worthy of some good stereotyping. Especially the Australians.
Until the worst happens, this whole land is as safe and as dangerous as our local knowledge and ignorance allows us to see it. The advice I'd give to newcomers here is: 1.) hurry up and learn the language (to a much higher level than mine), 2.) keep making local and expat friends and asking them about where and when it's safe and dangerous to be where, and 3.) however long you live here, continue to be sensible about the difference between perceived and actual dangers. |
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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:30 am Post subject: |
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timhorton wrote: |
Driving a taxi is one of few jobs that Korean (or others) ex-cons can get. It would be fair to assume that many taxis are being driven by them. If out late at night I suggest staying at motel vs getting in a taxi...in Korea or elsewhere. And always (i.e. getting taxi late at night or anytime) have the cellphone in your hand and ready to dial 112. They can track your location even if they can't understand English. |
Be careful on that. A love motel can be equally dangerous for a woman. People go there for sex. If you must, stay in a hostel, an actual hotel, or a jim jil bang with other women. Take some specific self defense moves here and know where to hit. Stay safe. |
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sirius black
Joined: 04 Jun 2010
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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A shame. Is pepper spray available here? If not, maybe it can be brought in. What about women carrying a small knife in their purse or pocket book? What about those siren thingies I've seen back in the states? They make a very loud noise.
My korean friends take a pic of the license plate when he puts his gf in a cab late at night.
It seems its wise to take western style precautions here. |
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kimchi_pizza
Joined: 24 Jul 2006 Location: "Get back on the bus! Here it comes!"
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Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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I can't remember if it was in Japan or Korea, but I recall that single women living alone would even keep a pair of (large) men's shoes visible just inside the door of their apartment so as always to give the appearance a man is there. I didn't think that was a bad idea~ |
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