Site Search:
 
TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International
Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Psycho Wants Divorce, We Have a Kid...
Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Nolos



Joined: 23 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:21 am    Post subject: Psycho Wants Divorce, We Have a Kid... Reply with quote

DO NOT MARRY A KOREAN!!! (ok, now that that's out of the way...):

The woman is a complete nut. She totally does not get the concept that marriage is a life-long commitment and there are ups and down and that it is not easy, but we must strive to make it work for the sake of children. Apparently I take the more conservative approach to marriage and she is of the celebrity 2-months-and-it's-over variety. (We've been married for about a year, though.)
Anyway, I'm not going into details, but I would like some information about what happens to my baby should we get divorced. My baby is only 4 months old. 4 MONTHS OLD! I don't even know where my wife and my baby are at the moment. She's ran out of the house since Friday and staying with one of her friends.

I'm assuming the Korean court system will bend over backwards for my wife since she is Korean and give her custody after she manipulates them like she has me for the past 3 years. But what's the chances of me getting custody? She has a good job and can live independently and support our baby so I'm chalking the custody up for her at this point.

Now then, most importantly, what would happen to my F6 visa? Would that get canceled right away?

I told her I'm not signing any papers ever and she is going to have sue me to get the kid and for the divorce. I'm not going to make it easy for her. Then again, this could all be just another manipulating trick to get me to act the way she wanted to mold me, which I'm sure it is. But I just want to know what my options are in case of the (likely?) event she is serious and decides to pursue a divorce.


**TL/DR PEOPLE**

1: What happens to my F6 visa if we get divorced?

2: We have a baby. Would custody rights go automatically to her?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
OneWayTraffic



Joined: 14 Mar 2005

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No and no.

You keep the visa.

Custody is a tricky thing. Could go either way. The child's interest is that you both keep contact. Obviously.

Korean women are pretty emotional. Give her a few days to cool down.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
T-J



Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yonshinnae

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

1: What happens to my F6 visa if we get divorced?

2: We have a baby. Would custody rights go automatically to her?


1. Without a child you lose it on expiration of current sojourn unless your spouse is at fault or abandons you. If you have a child and custody or visitation is granted you may keep the visa regardless.

2. Custody is not automatic. I know of foreigners winning custody, although the ones I know a female.

3. Get a lawyer.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Captain Corea



Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry to hear you're going through this, OP. Quick question - do you want custody?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Nolos



Joined: 23 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Captain Corea wrote:
Sorry to hear you're going through this, OP. Quick question - do you want custody?

Absolutely, 100%, YES.
And CC, before you go any father are you talking about taking advantage of the HCCH act that Korea is not a part of? Because I am thinking about that as a possibility...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
T-J



Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yonshinnae

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote


I'll preface this with I don't think that would be the preferable course of action. Of course I'm going on limited facts.

To your point, does your child already have a passport from your home country? If not it could be difficult, if not impossible to get at this point without your spouses consent.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Captain Corea



Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nolos wrote:
Captain Corea wrote:
Sorry to hear you're going through this, OP. Quick question - do you want custody?

Absolutely, 100%, YES.
And CC, before you go any father are you talking about taking advantage of the HCCH act that Korea is not a part of? Because I am thinking about that as a possibility...


No, wasn't really heading in that direction.

I just wasn't sure of it from the OP.

T-J's advice about hiring legal council is your best route, IMO. Look into it.

Right now, your wife and baby are MIA - are you able to track her down through her family/friends?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
falco



Joined: 26 Nov 2005

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 4:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dont really think I can add much here thats actually useful to you at the moment OP, other than to say my thoughts and prayers are with you. I went through a not entirely disimilar situation back in my home country years ago. I cant imagine what it must be like to have this sort of thing occur in a foreign country.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 5:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will echo what TJ said and strongly advise you to get a lawyer or at least get in contact with one so he or she can be ready to intervene should it become needed.

I hope this ends well for you and I cannot imagine what you are going through.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
singerdude



Joined: 18 Jul 2009

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You may already be aware of this, but in case you're not:

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2012/10/116_123423.html


Also, from the article:

The procedure will be mandatory when couples with minor children agree to an uncontested divorce. In other cases, the courts can also recommend counseling at the judges’ discretion.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
young_clinton



Joined: 09 Sep 2009

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:34 am    Post subject: Re: Psycho Wants Divorce, We Have a Kid... Reply with quote

Nolos wrote:

I'm assuming the Korean court system will bend over backwards for my wife since she is Korean and give her custody after she manipulates them like she has me for the past 3 years. But what's the chances of me getting custody?


Unless she is cerfifiably insane (whatever that is defined as), your chances are not so good. I would try to find out where she is at and try to work out a deal with her for visitation rights. If she feels that you don't have any rights and runs away, track her down again, take the baby and go back to your country with it. The bottom line is if you have to flee to your country to have access to your child then do it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Unibrow



Joined: 20 Aug 2012

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 6:52 am    Post subject: Re: Psycho Wants Divorce, We Have a Kid... Reply with quote

young_clinton wrote:
Nolos wrote:

I'm assuming the Korean court system will bend over backwards for my wife since she is Korean and give her custody after she manipulates them like she has me for the past 3 years. But what's the chances of me getting custody?


Unless she is cerfifiably insane (whatever that is defined as), your chances are not so good. I would try to find out where she is at and try to work out a deal with her for visitation rights. If she feels that you don't have any rights and runs away, track her down again, take the baby and go back to your country with it. The bottom line is if you have to flee to your country to have access to your child then do it.


So you want him to raise the child on his own on a (presumably) completely different continent from his mother? Not only is that difficult, it's also unfair to the mother and her relatives. We only have one side of the story here.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
young_clinton



Joined: 09 Sep 2009

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 12:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Psycho Wants Divorce, We Have a Kid... Reply with quote

Unibrow wrote:
young_clinton wrote:
Nolos wrote:

I'm assuming the Korean court system will bend over backwards for my wife since she is Korean and give her custody after she manipulates them like she has me for the past 3 years. But what's the chances of me getting custody?


Unless she is cerfifiably insane (whatever that is defined as), your chances are not so good. I would try to find out where she is at and try to work out a deal with her for visitation rights. If she feels that you don't have any rights and runs away, track her down again, take the baby and go back to your country with it. The bottom line is if you have to flee to your country to have access to your child then do it.


So you want him to raise the child on his own on a (presumably) completely different continent from his mother? Not only is that difficult, it's also unfair to the mother and her relatives. We only have one side of the story here.


If she is running and hiding from him, then it is not unfair.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey man sorry to hear about what you are going through. Just when I was thinking about marriage I read this and it terrifies me.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
GoldMember



Joined: 24 Oct 2006

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are 2 sources of advice 1. free advice on Dave's or 2. spend money on a decent lawyer.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next
Page 1 of 7

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2013 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International