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Psycho Wants Divorce, We Have a Kid...
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chalmers wrote:
Better call Saul.


LWYRUP!

Seriously, this is a lesson- Don't marry for looks, marry for loyalty and sanity. Marry for the person's skill as a parent of your child, not the hot body that will fade in 5 years and drain $500,000 from you over the course of your life in legal fees, child support, and alimony. And if you are going to jump, get everything Legal'd and your assets protected.

50% of marriages end in divorce and bitterness. What makes you think you're so special that it won't be you? Do you think all of those people thought "I'm going to end up in a bitter, financially ruining relationship, but what the heck!"

If your Korean gf has tattoos, smokes and clubs constantly, has very "liberal" attitudes, etc. While that may make her cool and may be normal back home, odds are here that that is a sign of serious issues. Look at her friends, are they questionable characters as well? Prone to sobbing drunken escapades? Infrequent contact with home? Strange calls at random times? Unstable career path? Unaccountable sources of income/property/garments?

You know how we can spot "nuts" amongst foreigners a mile away? We tend to suck at that in Koreans.

LWYRUP!
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bobranger



Joined: 10 Jun 2008
Location: masan

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is my advice:
I would grant her a divorce. What is she or you going to do? Most men do not want the baggage of a stepchild. A Korean suitor and foreign men do not want the complications. Stand your ground! You are in a position of power. Things are going to be difficult.
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
What is she or you going to do?


Kill the baby.............?!

You don't know what she's thinking, so don't spout off at a keyboard without

thinking............!
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bobranger



Joined: 10 Jun 2008
Location: masan

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey Lucas:
Who kills a baby? Reality is not TV. Of course I donít know what she or the OP is thinking. I did take the liberty to think that the couple is (though under stress) a semi-rational bunch. I just wanted to give the OP bit of advice from my experience. Right or wrong, he can take it as is. Oh by the way; Iíll spout like a spigot punk. Yes there is a modicum of sarcasm and double entendre referring to my last sentence.
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bobranger



Joined: 10 Jun 2008
Location: masan

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt7J0iaUD0

My screen name is Lucas
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you've seen me before

If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
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Nolos



Joined: 23 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What I'm wondering now is if what she's doing by taking the baby and keeping it from me if it is kidnapping? If it is, it might be time to contact the police.
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alongway



Joined: 02 Jan 2012

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nolos wrote:
What I'm wondering now is if what she's doing by taking the baby and keeping it from me if it is kidnapping? If it is, it might be time to contact the police.


If Korea has custodial interference laws, then yes. At this point you are still the legal guardian and custodian of the baby. Contact a lawyer.
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Swampfox10mm



Joined: 24 Mar 2011

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

FYI, a lawyer will likely want 5 mill up front to begin anything.
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 2:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Hey Lucas:
Who kills a baby? Reality is not TV. Of course I donít know what she or the OP is thinking. I did take the liberty to think that the couple is (though under stress) a semi-rational bunch. I just wanted to give the OP bit of advice from my experience. Right or wrong, he can take it as is. Oh by the way; Iíll spout like a spigot punk. Yes there is a modicum of sarcasm and double entendre referring to my last sentence.

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bobranger



Joined: 10 Jun 2008
Location: masan
Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:22 am Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt7J0iaUD0

My screen name is Lucas
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you've seen me before

If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble. some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was


Did it take you 20 minutes to think of that crap?!

Who could kill a baby?

Maybe a depressed woman, who has married a 'waygook' against her parentsí wishes - now realizes she hates him, has a half cast baby, no real chance of ever finding another man who will take her with all the other baggage, parents disown her for leaving her man, her work finds out and fires her (before she had an okay job).... She now has no job.......

Thankfully Korea has a progressive adoption/care system in place to help her deal with the situation...........
Rolling Eyes
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2232544/Firefighters-uncover-car-dead-children-pets-murder-suicide-plot-orchestrated-grandmother-cope-return-daughter.html

^ messed up stuff happens all the time......
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Nolos



Joined: 23 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Swampfox10mm wrote:
FYI, a lawyer will likely want 5 mill up front to begin anything.

That's why I can't right now.
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry for your loss OP, these things happen to the best of people. Good luck with your child.
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Seoulman69



Joined: 14 Dec 2009

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, Nolos. Sorry to hear about your situation. The first thing to do now is to remain calm. There have been some weird posts here that you should ignore. Here's what to do:
1. Move any substantial amounts of money you have out of her reach. I keep all my savings in my home country in bank accounts under my sole name. If you have money do the same.
2. Go to your local Global Centre (there is one in Seoul). They used to have a free lawyer consultation service. Find out if they still do and go and pick the lawyers brains. He may be able to recommend someone if you need any further help.
3. Keep trying to contact your wife and her family. Let them know you just want to talk and make sure your baby is okay.

Good luck and try to stay positive. Women tend to be very emotional after childbirth and hopefully this will all blow over soon.
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transmogrifier



Joined: 02 Jan 2012
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Go Lucas, spreading the joy! Way to consider the context of this discussion and then choose the most insensitive, bone-headed, miserablist possibility to harp on about.

You'd be an amazing doctor.

"Dr Lucas, I have a headache."
" No doubt you have a terminal brain tumor that has already spread to the rest of your body and your limbs will start falling off in about two days. And your wife is cheating on you."

Good luck to the OP. Hope it all turns out okay.
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Lunar Groove Gardener



Joined: 05 Jan 2005
Location: 1987 Subaru

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Postpartum depression can be a component. Add to this some pre-existing emotional/mental issues and much can be gained by seeing competent mental health specialists. If both parties agree to get help
in resolving this dire circumstance in one manner or another, your chances may improve.

Like you said 'better or worse' and this is the worse at present..Hopefully
you can convince each other to get back to the better.

Without this help such issues will go unaddressed which could prevent any solutions from being completely successful.

Harpeau is a poster on this board
and publishes a list of mental health care service providers for the expat
community.

I've also seen mention of affordable and free legal consulting available, and so you should post to inquire as to this source.
Such resources for real action in legal and mental health advice are invaluable.

In my opinion, it is always worth examining your own part in this.
In reviewing your past 'tactics' in this case, you can seek to modify them towards improvement. How we approach each other and situations can need adjusting for any variety of reasons which could be directly due to the needs of the other person to deal with them more successfully.

I hope this helps.
Best of luck.
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