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Psycho Wants Divorce, We Have a Kid...
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LuckyNomad



Joined: 28 May 2007

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I could count the number of times my wife has told me she wanted a divorce or seperation...
After the 10th time you come to understand that it is a desperate cry for something. Not really divorce.

Yeah, go talk to mommy and daddy. The worst part of divorce is social and familial ostricizaton. I don't think she'll be permitted to show up at her family's house after divorcing a foreigner. Particularly since her parents probably protested against it at first anyway so they'd be pissed. Her friends and everyone she knows will talk about her forever.

As for the courts, in Korea, a child who has no father or has divorced parents doesn't stand a chance in society. And yours is only half Korean so it would be even worse. That argument alone would tip the balance against your wife. Plus she has about zero chance of ever remarrying here after being tainted by you.

But I recommend telling her mother everything and waiting for mom to drag her back by her hair, probably doing a few hundred Gang Spikes on her back.
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CentralCali



Joined: 17 May 2007

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 1:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

^ Suggested change for user-name: Stuck in the 1950s.
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Nolos



Joined: 23 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CentralCali wrote:
^ Suggested change for user-name: Stuck in the 1950s.

haha, you know what, LuckyNomad isn't too far off at all. Going to her mom is the last resort and I basically have it in my head that if she is still keeping the baby from me in weeks time I'm going over there. Her mom WILL pull her back by the hair I know. She doesn't mess around.

I know this is all a big fuss to get to me change. Our texts include me saying just come back and be a family, and her saying no, you're lazy, I feel like you don't love me, and a ton of other things girls say about guys. I'll just give her time to cool down.

Oh, and on a side note, I had a really weird dream last night and it made me a firm believer in symbolic dreams. I dreamt that I turned around and out of nowhere there before me was a HUGE mountain. There were trees on both sides of a dirt path leading all the way to the top that I could barely make out. The dirt path was waving down, like rolling down, like the waves of a sea from the top all the way to the bottom to keep me down--it clipped trees with it and brought them down, too--like a landslide. I can't emphasize how steep and how big this mountain was. All I know was that I had a gun with me, like a Desert Eagle, and cocked it and started running up. I can't remember much after that but it was so bizarre and so vivid when I woke up I looked up what it was all about and indeed it seems to suggest that I am going through a tough obstacles in life (portrayed by the mountain).
Anyway, yeah, pretty weird stuff going on in my head lately. Exactly how she wants it...
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well since you guys are texting, that rules out kidnapping.

I think OP that you two need to work things out one way or another. I am sure there are two sides to this story and that she may have some valid gripes, just like you do....

Still good luck and let's hope this ends well.
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madoka



Joined: 27 Mar 2008

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:

Seriously, this is a lesson- Don't marry for looks, marry for loyalty and sanity.


I really wish would could post pics again. Crying or Very sad

http://demotivationalpost.com/motivators/11920106320/before-and-after-marriage.jpg
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

madoka wrote:
Steelrails wrote:

Seriously, this is a lesson- Don't marry for looks, marry for loyalty and sanity.


I really wish would could post pics again. Crying or Very sad

http://demotivationalpost.com/motivators/11920106320/before-and-after-marriage.jpg



http://jolieodell.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/entrepreneur.jpg?w=620&h=380&crop=1&h=380
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nolos wrote:
CentralCali wrote:
^ Suggested change for user-name: Stuck in the 1950s.

haha, you know what, LuckyNomad isn't too far off at all. Going to her mom is the last resort and I basically have it in my head that if she is still keeping the baby from me in weeks time I'm going over there. Her mom WILL pull her back by the hair I know. She doesn't mess around.


Haha, Umma will kick some serious rear-end dammit!

That's something I've noticed and appreciate, moms here don't tell their daughters a bunch of BS, they give it to them straight. "You are destroying your family, are you being selfish, get a grip on yourself and show your husband respect for face my wrath!" Brutal, but the truth, and it can help knock some sanity back into the person when they have the occasional insanity attack.
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

CentralCali wrote:
^ Suggested change for user-name: Stuck in the 1950s.


^ Suggest change for user-name: Stuck in the USA. Wink
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Yaya



Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nolos wrote:
CentralCali wrote:
^ Suggested change for user-name: Stuck in the 1950s.

haha, you know what, LuckyNomad isn't too far off at all. Going to her mom is the last resort and I basically have it in my head that if she is still keeping the baby from me in weeks time I'm going over there. Her mom WILL pull her back by the hair I know. She doesn't mess around.

I know this is all a big fuss to get to me change. Our texts include me saying just come back and be a family, and her saying no, you're lazy, I feel like you don't love me, and a ton of other things girls say about guys. I'll just give her time to cool down.

Oh, and on a side note, I had a really weird dream last night and it made me a firm believer in symbolic dreams. I dreamt that I turned around and out of nowhere there before me was a HUGE mountain. There were trees on both sides of a dirt path leading all the way to the top that I could barely make out. The dirt path was waving down, like rolling down, like the waves of a sea from the top all the way to the bottom to keep me down--it clipped trees with it and brought them down, too--like a landslide. I can't emphasize how steep and how big this mountain was. All I know was that I had a gun with me, like a Desert Eagle, and cocked it and started running up. I can't remember much after that but it was so bizarre and so vivid when I woke up I looked up what it was all about and indeed it seems to suggest that I am going through a tough obstacles in life (portrayed by the mountain).
Anyway, yeah, pretty weird stuff going on in my head lately. Exactly how she wants it...


So just curious, why does she think you are lazy? I know that Korean wives are ruthless about money.
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CentralCali



Joined: 17 May 2007

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

KimchiNinja wrote:
CentralCali wrote:
^ Suggested change for user-name: Stuck in the 1950s.


^ Suggest change for user-name: Stuck in the USA. Wink


That'd be funny if I hadn't had over 30 years experience with Korea and Koreans. Wink
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nautilus



Joined: 26 Nov 2005
Location: Je jump, Tu jump, oui jump!

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LuckyNomad wrote:
I don't think she'll be permitted to show up at her family's house after divorcing a foreigner. Particularly since her parents probably protested against it at first anyway so they'd be pissed. Her friends and everyone she knows will talk about her forever..


Is that really true though? Rolling Eyes

Koreas divorce rate is as high as the US. Its not a rare event like it used to be.
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LuckyNomad



Joined: 28 May 2007

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nolos wrote:
CentralCali wrote:
^ Suggested change for user-name: Stuck in the 1950s.

haha, you know what, LuckyNomad isn't too far off at all. Going to her mom is the last resort and I basically have it in my head that if she is still keeping the baby from me in weeks time I'm going over there. Her mom WILL pull her back by the hair I know. She doesn't mess around.

I know this is all a big fuss to get to me change. Our texts include me saying just come back and be a family, and her saying no, you're lazy, I feel like you don't love me, and a ton of other things girls say about guys. I'll just give her time to cool down.

Oh, and on a side note, I had a really weird dream last night and it made me a firm believer in symbolic dreams. I dreamt that I turned around and out of nowhere there before me was a HUGE mountain. There were trees on both sides of a dirt path leading all the way to the top that I could barely make out. The dirt path was waving down, like rolling down, like the waves of a sea from the top all the way to the bottom to keep me down--it clipped trees with it and brought them down, too--like a landslide. I can't emphasize how steep and how big this mountain was. All I know was that I had a gun with me, like a Desert Eagle, and cocked it and started running up. I can't remember much after that but it was so bizarre and so vivid when I woke up I looked up what it was all about and indeed it seems to suggest that I am going through a tough obstacles in life (portrayed by the mountain).
Anyway, yeah, pretty weird stuff going on in my head lately. Exactly how she wants it...


So she is still talking to you. That's a good sign. I guess that means its time for you to do the ol humiliating, "I want you back," gesture. Go to her friend's house, stand in the street and start yelling like an idiot that you love her until she comes down and let's you in. Bend over backwards and promise all the stuff you gotta promise. Laughing
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LuckyNomad



Joined: 28 May 2007

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nautilus wrote:
LuckyNomad wrote:
I don't think she'll be permitted to show up at her family's house after divorcing a foreigner. Particularly since her parents probably protested against it at first anyway so they'd be pissed. Her friends and everyone she knows will talk about her forever..


Is that really true though? Rolling Eyes

Koreas divorce rate is as high as the US. Its not a rare event like it used to be.


The divorce rate has skyrocketed here over the years. And Koreans are now just as liberal as westerners. Rolling Eyes
Which is why I know women who have divorced parents but don't tell their in laws and the parents show up at the wedding pretending to be together, even though Korea is so liberal now. Rolling Eyes
However. Put the word "Foreigner" in the mix and it changes things a bit.

I'm sure mom and dad will be eager to tell their friends.
"Yeah, Yejin got divorced from her foreign husband. So how's your daughter doing?"

"Gee, Min Ho. I really like you. But I have something that might change your feelings for me. I'm a divorced single mother and my x-husband is a foreigner."
"yeah. I'll be going now."
Heck. Even telling a guy that you've dated a foreigner is pretty much a deal breaker.
Or perhaps I'm ignorant.
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Otherside



Joined: 06 Sep 2007

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LuckyNomad wrote:
nautilus wrote:
LuckyNomad wrote:
I don't think she'll be permitted to show up at her family's house after divorcing a foreigner. Particularly since her parents probably protested against it at first anyway so they'd be pissed. Her friends and everyone she knows will talk about her forever..


Is that really true though? Rolling Eyes

Koreas divorce rate is as high as the US. Its not a rare event like it used to be.


The divorce rate has skyrocketed here over the years. And Koreans are now just as liberal as westerners. Rolling Eyes
Which is why I know women who have divorced parents but don't tell their in laws and the parents show up at the wedding pretending to be together, even though Korea is so liberal now. Rolling Eyes
However. Put the word "Foreigner" in the mix and it changes things a bit.

I'm sure mom and dad will be eager to tell their friends.
"Yeah, Yejin got divorced from her foreign husband. So how's your daughter doing?"

"Gee, Min Ho. I really like you. But I have something that might change your feelings for me. I'm a divorced single mother and my x-husband is a foreigner."
"yeah. I'll be going now."
Heck. Even telling a guy that you've dated a foreigner is pretty much a deal breaker.
Or perhaps I'm ignorant.


LuckyNomad makes a fair point.. I think he is just taking it too far. Is telling a guy you dated a foreigner a dealbreaker? I don't think so. In the era of social networks, it's pretty hard to keep that stuff hidden anyways. (You can only explain away so many fb pics of you and the same foreign dude).

That being said, I think having been married to a foreigner and having a mixed child is definitely edging towards dealbreaker status. Hell, many guys (from many countries and cultures, myself included) are scared away by the idea of raising another man's child. Take Korea's infatuation with race and blood, and you can see how this won't score you any points.

As for the parents, I think getting divorced will result in a REALLY big, I told you so. Then again, this isn't a situation unique to Korea.

To the OP: There's been some good advice here. I wish you the best of luck.
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jvalmer



Joined: 06 Jun 2003

PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Otherside wrote:
Hell, many guys (from many countries and cultures, myself included) are scared away by the idea of raising another man's child.

A deal breaker for tons of guys, including me. Saying that I know of a women who remarried with two kids. Guy even took the two kids in and he was never married before. But the ex-foreign husband, with his kid, part is probably hard to overlook for most guys.
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