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Who had the front row seats? Speak up!
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sojusucks



Joined: 31 May 2008

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 9:27 pm    Post subject: Who had the front row seats? Speak up! Reply with quote

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21489927

They're back!
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Dodge7



Joined: 21 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What is this tripe? People that don't even know each other getting married? These marriages should last long.... Confused
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No_hite_pls



Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Location: Don't hate me because I'm right

PostPosted: Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a co-worker 4 years ago that married her husband at one of these things in the early 90's. She was a deeply religious moonie that believed that Obama was the anti-christ. She had so many viruses on her computer from the weird sites she would visit. She would always be watching these videos with Obama's picture and fire all around him. She was one of the dumbest people I have ever met and oh god did she smell bad. I don't think she ever took a shower.

Her husband was a poor farmer and just pretended to be a moonie to get a wife. He was always drunk, I actually kind of like him he was always kind to our family dog. She really hated her husband but would never divorce him. ha ha


Last edited by No_hite_pls on Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Zyzyfer



Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No_hite_pls wrote:
She would always be watching these videos with Obama's picture and fire all around him.


I should start doing that. Not because I dislike Obama or anything, I just think it would be cool to play videos of people with fire all around them at work.
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Fox



Joined: 04 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dodge7 wrote:
What is this tripe? People that don't even know each other getting married? These marriages should last long.... Confused


Well, the Moonies themselves claim to have a 10% divorce rate. They may be exaggerating -- they are probably exaggerating -- but it would not shock me if Moonie marriages were actually statistically less likely to end in divorce than modern western-style marriages. When you marry for love, your relationship will last until the love runs out (which, for many people, is sooner than they'd otherwise expect). If the foundation of your marriage is instead something more concrete -- whether the expectations of your broader culture, the bond between two families, or religious convictions -- it can endure past that, and once love by itself no longer has the burden of holding your relationship together, it may well actually grow stronger and sounder. I do remember reading an article in Korea some time back that said traditional Korean match-made marriages (which still occur) were less likely to end in divorce than marriages for love.

Professor O'Connell from the article above bemoans, "I find it in fact a violation of the very nature of the marriage bond, which is a free contract between two parties. And it is the freedom of that contract which constitutes a very essential part of the bond," but for much of human history this was not an entirely accurate description of marriage, and in those societies, divorce was less common, family was more stable, and life was about more than just enjoying yourself as much as you could before you died.

I'm no especial fan of religion, so I'm no especial fan of the Moonies, but the last thing Korea (or anyone) needs on the topic of marriage is advice from the divorce-happy West.
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comm



Joined: 22 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 3:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fox wrote:
I'm no especial fan of religion, so I'm no especial fan of the Moonies, but the last thing Korea (or anyone) needs on the topic of marriage is advice from the divorce-happy West.

Indeed.
Always amazing to see some of the least happy people on the planet (particularly considering the material wealth said group possesses) telling everyone else how to live a happy life.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well said by Fox.

I heard something similar about arranged marriages from South Asian families. The common assumption was that such marriages would be abominable, but they actually had good chances of sticking together. The families knew the kids better than the kids knew themselves. Also it wasn't marrying a complete stranger, the kids often knew each other growing up, and it wasn't completely forced, but rather from a pool of prospective matches.

This same professor stated that there were four or five things that really determined the rate of success for a marriage, I can't remember them precisely, but they amounted to views on the purpose of money, views on the purpose of life, views on religion, views on inter-dependency, and views on parenting and family. If the couple had views in line with each other on those things, they'd be fine.

As Fox alluded to, things like "love" and "interests" and "soulmate" were not a big factor.
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No_hite_pls



Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Location: Don't hate me because I'm right

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:
but they amounted to views on the purpose of money, views on the purpose of life, views on religion, views on inter-dependency, and views on parenting and family.


Most people that are realistic about marriage and find their own spouses look for those exact same things.

I for one, would never go back to the old days of arranged marriages and a society with no divorce. I like that people in the present time are allowed to be happy in marriage and that marriage means more now then just a financial union for the children. Divorce sometimes is the best answer to unhappy often abusive marriage.

There are countries that people can still go to and find that old wonderful non-divorce cultures. Saudi Arabia is country like that for one! I believe it's still illegal for women to get divorced and almost all marriages are still arranged. Gentleman, don't cheat on your wives, though, I believe they stone you to death, for that there.


Last edited by No_hite_pls on Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:57 pm; edited 3 times in total
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comm



Joined: 22 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No_hite_pls wrote:
Saudi Arabia is country like that for one! I believe it's still illegal for women to get divorced and almost all marriages are still arranged. Gentleman, don't cheat on your wives, though, I believe they stone you to death, for that there.

I'm pretty sure the mistress gets stoned to death and the man goes unpunished, but I could be wrong.
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Fox



Joined: 04 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No_hite_pls wrote:

I like that people in the present time are allowed to be happy in marriage ...


As opposed to the rest of history, where happiness in marriage was strictly forbidden.

No_hite_pls wrote:
...and that marriage means more now then just a financial union for the children.


Marriage, something which was once a pillar of society and a bearer of deep cultural meaning, has been reduced to a form of long-term dating in much of the West. To say that stripping all of the commitment, most of the responsibility, and many of the cultural connotations out of the institution has made it more meaningful is almost like engaging in Orwellian Newspeak. Marriage used to be so profoundly meaningful that ancient man used it as a symbolic lens through which to understand certain aspects of the world. Now it's, "Hey, I'll shack up with you until one of us gets sick of it." You can approve of that transition if you want, but to call it more meaningful completely demolishes the descriptive utility of the term.

No_hite_pls wrote:
Divorce sometimes is the best answer to unhappy often abusive marriage.


True, but also a straw man. Many traditional marriage societies have had divorce as a recourse for exceptional circumstances. The major innovation of modern society is the no fault divorce: divorce without a major extenuating factor such as abuse, adultery, or the like. That is what you're championing here: families being tor