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blm
Joined: 11 Nov 2010
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 Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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I think they took offence to the way you presented your case rather than the fact you don't want to date a Korean.
Rather than say "the importance of communication" you talked about Korean girls shallowness etc. |
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Weigookin74
Joined: 26 Oct 2009
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| Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 6:59 pm Post subject: Re: Not Attracted To Koreans = (Quasi)Racism? |
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| metalhead wrote: |
I was having a conversation with my new co-teacher the other day, and when he found out that I have a girlfriend, he was curious as to why I would have a white girlfriend in Korea. I mean, I had no idea there was a stipulation here that having a Korean girlfriend was essential to one's experience here.
Basically long story short, I told him that I am only attracted to white girls, and that while many Korean women are attractive, I have no interest in them at all due to the way they act, the boring convos etc - basically just said our cultures are too different and that I, as an ugly fellow, rely on my personality more than the color of my skin to 'get' girls.
End of story, I was told that I am racist. Fair enough. Everything is racist these days, I mean, I would not want to bring mixed-blood kids into this world, because it is unfair and in my opinion cruel to them. Talk about a loss of identity.
I know that I am dealing with the 'open-minded' PC crowd here, but good lord man, being attracted to one's own race makes one racist now? It's utterly ridiculous; saying that I don't like black American culture for instance does not mean that I am racist. I guess Korea is too influenced by America (hello rubbish cheese! Hello Taco Bell!) and is obsessed with race.
I never knew that as a white man, I would be in the wrong for dating a white girl. I must be an anachronism. |
No, one can't help what they are attracted to. Most of the foriegners I meet seem to date each other more so than Koreans. I do actually like the looks of Korean women and ones who are cool. The whiney narcissistic types of any race I don't like. Asian women have these qualities in higher doses but it by no means exclusive to any one race. Over all, I'm not too picky, other than the hotness factor. (Yeah, I'm shallow.)
Anyways, it doesn't matter what other people say. If you have friends and good relations with people of different races, it means you're not a racist and simply judging people on their character. As for dating, we all have our own preferences. For example, I don't like Filipino women (generally, but with occasional exceptions) but lots of people do. Cool for them. Do what you want and be with who you want. |
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Mix1
Joined: 08 May 2007
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| Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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| rollo wrote: |
Geez people, lighten up. I just do not get the facination with parsing every comment, every word looking for racism.
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Some get a thrill out of it. It's a great conversation-ending buzzword.
It feels good to call SOMEONE ELSE racist, they can give themselves a pat on the back, while ignoring that they themselves probably have some racist leanings too (we ALL do to some degree) or at least their own preferences or stereotypes.
The OP's "crime" is that he was candid about his preferences. Yeah, he was generalizing a bit. At least he was being honest and not putting on a PC walking-on-eggshells, pat-yourself-on-the-back speech. ("Everyone is exactly the same." "I don't see color." ...yeah, right)
Also, maybe the preference is simply cultural. Introduce him to some Japanese or Chinese girls and he might change his tune entirely. |
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Adam Carolla
Joined: 26 Feb 2010
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| Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Mix1 wrote: |
| rollo wrote: |
Geez people, lighten up. I just do not get the facination with parsing every comment, every word looking for racism.
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Some get a thrill out of it. It's a great conversation-ending buzzword.
It feels good to call SOMEONE ELSE racist, they can give themselves a pat on the back, while ignoring that they themselves probably have some racist leanings too (we ALL do to some degree) or at least their own preferences or stereotypes.
The OP's "crime" is that he was candid about his preferences. Yeah, he was generalizing a bit. At least he was being honest and not putting on a PC walking-on-eggshells, pat-yourself-on-the-back speech. ("Everyone is exactly the same." "I don't see color." ...yeah, right)
Also, maybe the preference is simply cultural. Introduce him to some Japanese or Chinese girls and he might change his tune entirely. |
OR....Maybe it has something to do with his attitudes towards racial purity? I'm sorry, but when you are essentially saying that mixed-race couples shouldn't have children, that's a bit beyond the pale. |
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PRagic
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
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| Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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Kind of a mixed bag here. I dated Americans and Europeans, and was pretty sure that I was going to end up with a European. I admit I did have kind of a thing for dark haired, brown eyed Brits. But I digress. Then I moved here to work and study. I had absolutely no intention of staying or of marrying an Asian woman.
Then I met my wife, now of 15 years. She was internationally educated, open minded, politically informed, with one hell of head for business, all things I had known that attracted me. We hit it off and never looked back.
One big difference between myself and the OP is that I am pretty fluent in Korean. I got to know my wife, her sense of humor, her values, and what she wanted from life all through her language. I got to know her family. It's a different window, I've thoroughly enjoyed our time together, and look forward to the rest of the ride. Hell, I didn't even know she spoke English until we had been dating for around 3 years!
Long story short? Why close off your options by overgeneralizing? You only go around once, and you're lucky if you find someone to share your time with on this world. |
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Captain Corea
Joined: 28 Feb 2005
Location: Seoul
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| Posted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Adam Carolla wrote: |
| Mix1 wrote: |
| rollo wrote: |
Geez people, lighten up. I just do not get the facination with parsing every comment, every word looking for racism.
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Some get a thrill out of it. It's a great conversation-ending buzzword.
It feels good to call SOMEONE ELSE racist, they can give themselves a pat on the back, while ignoring that they themselves probably have some racist leanings too (we ALL do to some degree) or at least their own preferences or stereotypes.
The OP's "crime" is that he was candid about his preferences. Yeah, he was generalizing a bit. At least he was being honest and not putting on a PC walking-on-eggshells, pat-yourself-on-the-back speech. ("Everyone is exactly the same." "I don't see color." ...yeah, right)
Also, maybe the preference is simply cultural. Introduce him to some Japanese or Chinese girls and he might change his tune entirely. |
OR....Maybe it has something to do with his attitudes towards racial purity? I'm sorry, but when you are essentially saying that mixed-race couples shouldn't have children, that's a bit beyond the pale. |
Yeah, that tweaked my radar as well. |
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metalhead
Joined: 18 May 2010
Location: Toilet
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:50 am Post subject: |
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Trust me, as someone with brown eyes and skin that is not that pale I can't say in earnest that I am all about 'racial purity' (nonsense term - how many Finns have you met that look like east Asians albeit with blue eyes and blond/e hair? I can count quite a few).
I just don't think that it is fair to bring a mixed-blood kid (or whatever the PC term is these days, don't know and don't give two toots) up in most places in this sad and sordid world of ours. South Africa would be okay, lots of mixing there, same as the Netherlands. Germany too I guess, maybe England, but who would want to live there (joking!). Uh, Canada seems okay for it, America does not. As someone that grew up during apartheid South Africa the US seems incredibly racist to me, Christ, Americans are obsessed with race.
And to the naysayers, I have dated many Asian women. Just realised one day that vapid conversation and a total difference in interests were not my cup of tea. And yeah, going by physical attributes I prefer white women. Tar me in tar and feather me with feathers but I can't help it. Totally non-PC but that's just the way the sugar spreads (as opposed to crumbled cookies). |
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fionnjameson
Joined: 11 Mar 2013
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:35 am Post subject: |
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| metalhead wrote: |
Christ, Americans are obsessed with race.
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DUUUUDE. Where the hell are you from? Even deep South, like Shreveport Louisiana, NO ONE is going to care if you're mixed. Have you been to America recently? Half my friends growing up were mixed. White/Asian, White/Black, Hispanic/Black...I think you need to go back Stateside and see if you can find homogeneous white people in bulk. America is quickly becoming a melting pot and no one gives a shit anymore. |
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fionnjameson
Joined: 11 Mar 2013
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:37 am Post subject: Re: Not Attracted To Koreans = (Quasi)Racism? |
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| comm wrote: |
| fionnjameson wrote: |
This'll teach me to open my mouth again without reading everything thoroughly.
OP, if you spoke the language, maybe you wouldn't think they were so boring...? |
As I said before:
The conversations are boring because he's only been in Korea for a year or two and probably isn't QUITE fluent in the local language yet. Despite this, his coworker considers him to be racist for not wanting to date Koreans.
Or are you angry at him for not attaining fluency after working in Korea for <2 years? |
NO, I'm angry because he's barely been in Korea for 2 years and apparently thinks he's dated every effing korean woman in the country. |
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metalhead
Joined: 18 May 2010
Location: Toilet
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:13 am Post subject: Re: Not Attracted To Koreans = (Quasi)Racism? |
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| fionnjameson wrote: |
| comm wrote: |
| fionnjameson wrote: |
This'll teach me to open my mouth again without reading everything thoroughly.
OP, if you spoke the language, maybe you wouldn't think they were so boring...? |
As I said before:
The conversations are boring because he's only been in Korea for a year or two and probably isn't QUITE fluent in the local language yet. Despite this, his coworker considers him to be racist for not wanting to date Koreans.
Or are you angry at him for not attaining fluency after working in Korea for <2 years? |
NO, I'm angry because he's barely been in Korea for 2 years and apparently thinks he's dated every effing korean woman in the country. |
Nice try sweetheart; I first came to Korea in 2003. Can I hear a BADA-BOOM anywhere? Can I?
SWOOSH. |
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T-J
Joined: 10 Oct 2008
Location: Seoul EunpyungGu Yonshinnae
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:57 am Post subject: Re: Not Attracted To Koreans = (Quasi)Racism? |
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| metalhead wrote: |
I first came to Korea in 2003. |
Noob!
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Can I hear a BADA-BOOM anywhere? Can I?
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javis
Joined: 28 Feb 2013
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 5:29 am Post subject: |
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It's not racism. It's stereotyping. You are assuming that all Korean women are the same based on superficial similarities.
I used to say that I was not attracted to Korean women because they had large heads and short legs for ther bodies, like aliens. Then I realized that that was a silly reason to discount a large number of people. |
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PatrickGHBusan
Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 7:48 am Post subject: |
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This below is what probably generated most of the flak for you OP:
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| I would not want to bring mixed-blood kids into this world, because it is unfair and in my opinion cruel to them. |
It can be interpreted many ways, one of which could be racist. I do not think that this is how you meant it but the comment remains a bit ignorant and could be insulting to some people.
As for the topic of the this thread, I find it more funny than anything else. Preferences in dating are not racist per se, unless a person then injects racist reasons for not dating people from a certain ethinic group.
This other comment you made regarding asian women was also a bit on the dumb side:
| Quote: |
| Just realised one day that vapid conversation and a total difference in interests were not my cup of tea. |
Commonality and compatibility sure is not limited by race, creed or ethinicity...what can be limited is how open people are to another set of cultural values and how they deal with things like an initial language barrier. Again, it takes two to tango OP and I am certan that those vapid conversations happened because of you as well. The difference in interests is funny because again, compatibility is deeper than culture.... |
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bucheon bum
Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: DC area
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:41 am Post subject: |
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| fionnjameson wrote: |
| metalhead wrote: |
Christ, Americans are obsessed with race.
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DUUUUDE. Where the hell are you from? Even deep South, like Shreveport Louisiana, NO ONE is going to care if you're mixed. Have you been to America recently? Half my friends growing up were mixed. White/Asian, White/Black, Hispanic/Black...I think you need to go back Stateside and see if you can find homogeneous white people in bulk. America is quickly becoming a melting pot and no one gives a shit anymore. |
Yes, metalhead clearly is misinformed about us Americans, although I don't think you'd find an article like this in other countries.
That being said, there are still plenty of spots where you can find white people "in bulk." All I have to do is drive a couple hours away in most directions and find only white people (most notably in good ol' West Virginia)... |
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Pinehurst
Joined: 14 Aug 2011
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| I mean, I would not want to bring mixed-blood kids into this world, because it is unfair and in my opinion cruel to them. |
They may end up being president or something  |
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