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How have you changed since leaving home?
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Moldy Rutabaga



Joined: 01 Jul 2003
Location: Ansan, Korea

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

These are good points. When I go home to visit, those back home fall somewhere between two poles. Some ask a perfunctory question (how are things in Korea, are you in the North or South, hahaha) and then aren't really interested in something so alien. These people you can take as they are, and as their own lives likely haven't changed much since you left, you can probably easily still talk about the same people/girls/cars/teams. The second type, and my more favorite people, are those who really are interested in knowing about a different world and placing it within a context they can understand.

Again, and this is only my experience, I've largely only grown distant from people I think I might have anyway had I stayed in my home country. I wish well but I'm just not that interested in endlessly hearing how clever and cute your children/pets are, and for some people this is all they have to talk about. Marriage can change people a lot more than living in Korea!
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le-paul



Joined: 07 Apr 2009
Location: dans la chambre

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 8:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Moldy Rutabaga wrote:
These are good points. When I go home to visit, those back home fall somewhere between two poles. Some ask a perfunctory question (how are things in Korea, are you in the North or South, hahaha) and then aren't really interested in something so alien. These people you can take as they are, and as their own lives likely haven't changed much since you left, you can probably easily still talk about the same people/girls/cars/teams. The second type, and my more favorite people, are those who really are interested in knowing about a different world and placing it within a context they can understand.

Again, and this is only my experience, I've largely only grown distant from people I think I might have anyway had I stayed in my home country. I wish well but I'm just not that interested in endlessly hearing how clever and cute your children/pets are, and for some people this is all they have to talk about. Marriage can change people a lot more than living in Korea!


Youre not alone there (your first point).

Ive heard so many people say the same thing -especially people new to this. I think the more you return however, the less expectation you have.

I remember the first time I went home and someone asked me (Id been away for two years at this point) 'How was it?'. Confused They may as well said 'summarise your experiences over the past two years in one word'.

A lot of people who travel (even for short periods) also seem to suffer from this phenomenon too. Its almost as if people are prepared to listen to your anecdotes/experiences - but only on their own terms.

In the old days, we cold get around this by forcing photos on people - we cant even do that anymore...

Life goes on que sera - i think that some people can see it more objectively than others. Maybe thats what draws us to the lifestyle?
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cam83



Joined: 27 Jan 2013
Location: Seoul, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was back home (London) last summer I had slight reverse culture shock... I'm moving back this summer (only for a year or so) but already, I am aware that many of my family/friends, don't relate to the expat lifestyle and when they ask me questions about life in Korea, I often play it down, as I don't want to come across as boastful.

Also, being around groups of people in conversation I find myself observing and keen to listen more than talk... possibly due to the fact that I'm not on the same page in terms of local happenings/tv/socially etc

The great thing is that Seoul is a little like London in that it's fast paced, plus there are a tons more things to do, I'm looking forward to being less 'isolated' (my gf will join me, which is a HUGE plus).
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Stan Rogers



Joined: 20 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 1:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I lived back home I had a constantly upset stomach. When I came to Korea, my upset stomach went away.
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The Cosmic Hum



Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 4:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I lived back home, I was a ripped sexy beast.
Now that I have been living in Korea, I have become an older ripped sexy beast.
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Stain



Joined: 08 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to watch lots of TV at home. Now, I watch TV when I'm out and about and never when I'm at home.
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le-paul



Joined: 07 Apr 2009
Location: dans la chambre

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 5:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stain wrote:
I used to watch lots of TV at home. Now, I watch TV when I'm out and about and never when I'm at home.


Do you read now more or when you were at home (newspapers etc. included)?
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Stain



Joined: 08 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

le-paul wrote:
Stain wrote:
I used to watch lots of TV at home. Now, I watch TV when I'm out and about and never when I'm at home.


Do you read now more or when you were at home (newspapers etc. included)?


I read a ton in college because of all the literature classes. After that, I didn't so much, but I wrote a lot. When I came to Korea, I continued the trend of not reading but my writing also decreased steadily until it became nonexistent. Now the only writing I do is on Dave's.
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le-paul



Joined: 07 Apr 2009
Location: dans la chambre

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 6:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stain wrote:
le-paul wrote:
Stain wrote:
I used to watch lots of TV at home. Now, I watch TV when I'm out and about and never when I'm at home.


Do you read now more or when you were at home (newspapers etc. included)?


I read a ton in college because of all the literature classes. After that, I didn't so much, but I wrote a lot. When I came to Korea, I continued the trend of not reading but my writing also decreased steadily until it became nonexistent. Now the only writing I do is on Dave's.


I think the two usually co-exist, like being a musician and listening to music.
Its sometimes difficult to write if you're not reading - the inspiration is often missing, especially following other peoples writing styles or taking a new angle on something.
School can have have a way of making something enjoyable into a task.
Thats one thing I like about the lifestyle here, Im free to write whenever I want about whatever I want, and its easy to meet new people and 'borrow' their life experiences. Idea
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Stain



Joined: 08 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 7:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

le-paul wrote:
Stain wrote:
le-paul wrote:
Stain wrote:
I used to watch lots of TV at home. Now, I watch TV when I'm out and about and never when I'm at home.


Do you read now more or when you were at home (newspapers etc. included)?


I read a ton in college because of all the literature classes. After that, I didn't so much, but I wrote a lot. When I came to Korea, I continued the trend of not reading but my writing also decreased steadily until it became nonexistent. Now the only writing I do is on Dave's.


I think the two usually co-exist, like being a musician and listening to music.
Its sometimes difficult to write if you're not reading - the inspiration is often missing, especially following other peoples writing styles or taking a new angle on something.
School can have have a way of making something enjoyable into a task.
Thats one thing I like about the lifestyle here, Im free to write whenever I want about whatever I want, and its easy to meet new people and 'borrow' their life experiences. Idea


Good point. I think it comes down to motivation and laziness.
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Zyzyfer



Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stain wrote:
Good point. I think it comes down to motivation and laziness.


Right. I have a book sitting in my bag right next to me that I had intended to read during my lunch breaks. I had the habit for a while, but then I got a smart phone, and now I look at dumb crap on the web while I eat instead.

*curses smart phones*
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SeoulNate



Joined: 04 Jun 2010
Location: Hyehwa

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zyzyfer wrote:
Stain wrote:
Good point. I think it comes down to motivation and laziness.


Right. I have a book sitting in my bag right next to me that I had intended to read during my lunch breaks. I had the habit for a while, but then I got a smart phone, and now I look at dumb crap on the web while I eat instead.

*curses smart phones*


Get a kindle. I've read more books in the last 12 months since I bought that thing than I did in the previous 10 years.
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PRagic



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

PostPosted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is an absolute ton of lit on this subject, more than you'd be able to read in a year. Look up 'culture.shock' on scholar.google.com.
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Janny



Joined: 02 Jul 2008
Location: all over the place

PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The one thing that has changed, which may not have been modified had I stayed in Canada, is that I'm very, very patient. It takes much more to rile me up than it did ten years ago. Maybe that's called "growing up" lol

About culture shock, I concur with above posters. I really wish my friends at home were more interested in my travel adventures. Just like they probably wish I was more interested in their children. Smile
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schwa



Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Location: sokcho

PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2014 3:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe just a natural extension of my general direction in life anyway, but I think Korea has helped me polish the art of not interfering. Random stuff happens & I just go with it, not imposing my will.

The underthought is that everything happens for a reason. I'm feeling calm & modestly content in my gathering years.
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