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A few questions

 
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Mikethered



Joined: 29 Jan 2016
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 2:04 pm    Post subject: A few questions Reply with quote

Hi all,

I have a question to those who are married to Koreans. I have met a Korean woman and we have been living together for a Little over a year. She has told me about the rules in Korea which she says include getting married if the couple has lived together for at least six months. Yes, I love her, but she seems to be rushing me to get married. She keeps showing me these emails from her mother and more recently her father stating she must come home if she does not marry, and although I cannot read Korean she seems to be adding things to the information each time. For example, the last round of emails she showed me stated that I had to help pay for this relative who got sick because that is what all of her sisterĀ“s husband did, and since I am living with her I am responsable.....

I want to respect her culture but it seems as if she sometimes seems to be twisting it to get me to pay for things like sending her nephew and niece money on their birthdays, which I did, and sending her grandmother on a trip to Thailand, of which I helped out quite a bit. Any advice will be helpful, thanks, Mike
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 2:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A) Troll smell.

B) Six months? Bro, in her parents' eyes you're already married if you live with her for two days unless they're totally trashy or highly Westernized.

C) Paying for stuff for the extended family is the norm when you're married to a Korean, not the exception.
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Mikethered



Joined: 29 Jan 2016
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks
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yodanole



Joined: 02 Mar 2003
Location: La Florida

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 11:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Irregardless of any other circumstances, the extent to which you care about someone & the degree of your desire to remain in a relationship with them might be determining factors in what lengths you are willing to go to make it work. If you are old enough to be allowed outside unsupervised, you should be aware of that by now.
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The Cosmic Hum



Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space

PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 9:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yodanole wrote:
Irregardless of any other circumstances, the extent to which you care about someone & the degree of your desire to remain in a relationship with them might be determining factors in what lengths you are willing to go to make it work. If you are old enough to be allowed outside unsupervised, you should be aware of that by now.

Ahh...the things we should be aware of by now.
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PRagic



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 7:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She's treating you, and by extension your income, as if you're already married. Sounds like her and her family will be a financial drain should you formalize the arrangement by taking vows.

If you're not comfortable, refuse to be pressured and have her move back home pronto. You should NOT be on the hook for these family expenses at this point. Hate to say it, but grow a pair and say no.
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Yaya



Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 7:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dude, I know you'll miss her and second guess yourself, BUT RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK. She expects you to pay for a relative's medical bills? HUGE red flag right there.

Trust me, leaving her is the right decision.
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