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Useless with opposite sex - 44 years old

 
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fromtheuk



Joined: 31 Mar 2007

PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 10:32 pm    Post subject: Useless with opposite sex - 44 years old Reply with quote

Hi All! Not posted on here for ages. Hope you are well.

I'm at a hotel abroad while a work visa is being processed. Last night I see a nice lady in the restaurant but avoid her as I normally do with women because I have zero self-esteem and feel tense/uptight in their presence.

I go for breakfast in the last hour and she is there again. I sit with my back facing her and take a glance at her only twice while helping myself to food. There's a buffet.

Over the years, I have managed to improve my techniques when feeling uncomfortable. When I was younger, I used to stare at people a bit more than what is normal.

Anyway, I look okay physically but I have always felt anxious around women, especially ones I like. They make me feel like I'd rather be dead than be in their presence because I know that realistically I have nothing to offer them at all. I rarely speak and do everything alone. Absurd though this sounds, I also tend to love all women almost as deeply as my own mother, so I have a mix of feelings. Low self-esteem, self-hatred, extremely needy and sad because I know I'll never have the guts to approach anyone. Basically, the less I see of women the more relaxed I feel. Yet, at the same time I also want their love. I also kind of dislike women because of my own inadequacy.

I am so pathetic. Thankfully, I have a sense of humour and can see the funny side of things. I believe I appear cold and distant to others but that's due to the anxiety. Laughing
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SuperfuzzBigmuff



Joined: 12 Mar 2017

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 4:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice to see you, fromtheuk.

Do you still have the beard? I remember that YouTube video you made of yourself years ago; that was good. A proper BBC English accent you have indeed.

Keep the chin up, old boy; you never know who you might meet when you don't expect it.
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fromtheuk



Joined: 31 Mar 2007

PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your comments! Nice to 'see' you too! Laughing

Yes, I'm bearded. You are probably one of only a few posters to have seen me online because I deleted that video pretty quickly. Smile

Thank you for the compliments! Makes a change from the derision I usually get. Cool Have a great weekend!
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PRagic



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

PostPosted: Tue Oct 10, 2017 11:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/self-esteem
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Brooks



Joined: 08 Apr 2003

PostPosted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Really? I always found British guys more popular in Japan. Seriously.
I think there are similarities with the culture.
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PRagic



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

PostPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Japanese often like to identify with the Brits as they're both island nations. Well, that, plus Japan had grand visions of global hegemony at one point.
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