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Movie Turkeys You've Seen Lately
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Tiberious aka Sparkles



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: I'm one cool cat!

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2005 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mindmetoo wrote:
The only movie I ever walked out on was called Born American (1986). In a nut shell, a group of young Americans go to Finland for the deer hunt. They decide to go hunting along the Soviet border. For reasons not clear, they ignore huge signs saying "USSR don't enter!" They enter, with their deer rifles. They stumble on a Russian town. Much like every Doctor Who plot out there, the towns folk try to pin a recent murder on these strangers from beyond. The town and the Soviet garrison did not consider who they were dealing with, however. The three American friends lay waste to the whole town, with their deer rifles. Apparently Soviet BMP APCs are no match for three American kids. Because they love freedom.

In one classic scene, with the young Americans in foreground discussing why American virtues have allowed them to triumph against the entire local detachment of the Soviet army and an enraged mob of communist farmers, you see this burning human being running around frantically in the background.

They are eventually captured. Thank god. For more reasons not explained, America has no diplomatic relations with the USSR and a European diplomat has to negotiate for their release. Over vodka and Russian prostitutes, the Eurotrash diplomat and the KGB chief consign the trio to a gulag. Muahahahahah! But first their nipples are wired to car batteries and made to pay for being citizens of a freedom loving society. To a Canadian, this scene is pure wish fulfillment.

So they're tossed into a gulag where they begin the slow descent into hunger and depression. Again for reasons not explained, the gulag prisoners play a live game of chess. Prisoners are forced to battle each other to the death on a checker board and... that's where I walked the f out.


Why did you walk out? That plot sounds amazing!

Sparkles*_*
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2005 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tiberious aka Sparkles wrote:

So they're tossed into a gulag where they begin the slow descent into hunger and depression. Again for reasons not explained, the gulag prisoners play a live game of chess. Prisoners are forced to battle each other to the death on a checker board and... that's where I walked the f out.


Why did you walk out? That plot sounds amazing!

Sparkles*_*[/quote]

The gulag scene was so depressing and the movie offered so little hope of pay off you had to walk out. It would have been 20 minutes of torture.
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Tiberious aka Sparkles



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: I'm one cool cat!

PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2005 4:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mindmetoo wrote:


The gulag scene was so depressing and the movie offered so little hope of pay off you had to walk out. It would have been 20 minutes of torture.


I just checked imdb.com. Guess who the movie's director is?

Renny Harlin.

Laughing

Sparkles*_*
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Yaya



Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2005 5:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm, how about the movies that lost a fortune for their studios like Ishtar and Heaven's Gate?
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Sleepy in Seoul



Joined: 15 May 2004
Location: Going in ever decreasing circles until I eventually disappear up my own fundament - in NZ

PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2005 7:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I watched an appallingly bad movie a couple of months ago called "Closer". I couldn't belive that I actually sat through the whole thing... that's 2 hours of my life I can never get back.
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mindmetoo



Joined: 02 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2005 4:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yaya wrote:
Hmm, how about the movies that lost a fortune for their studios like Ishtar and Heaven's Gate?


Or Coming to America. A film that made $100 million at the box office, when Art Buchwald sued for a writing credit and a cut of the profits, the studio tried to show, via "hollywood accounting" the movie lost money.
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Alias



Joined: 24 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just saw Freddy v.s Jason. I though it would be chessy. I was wrong. It was horrificly awful. This movie has been talked about for years. You think they could have come up with a better script during that time. The same can be said for Alien v.s Predator. While not as bad as the former, it is still rather disappointing for those of us who loved the originals.

As for worst movies of all time. My vote goes for "The Avengers".
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Hanson



Joined: 20 Oct 2004

PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 6:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My worst-ever movie has got to be Moulin Rouge. I fukking hate that movie with a passion. Nirvana songs set in 1920? Gimme a goddarned break! Where's that puking emotican when I need it.
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animalbirdfish



Joined: 04 Feb 2004

PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Freezer Burn wrote:
NOPE a big fat Turkey, by hey thats just my opinion..

but best movie Hedwig and the Angry Inch.


See there...it's all about opinions. I could barely sit through Hedwig. I had just finished film school when that came out and my friend and I used to tell ourselves, "hey, we made some awful stuff, but at least we didn't don't have Hedwig on our consciences."
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