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Sparkx? Gunner who?

 
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Hwajangsil Ajumma



Joined: 02 May 2005
Location: On my knees in the stall

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 2:35 am    Post subject: Sparkx? Gunner who? Reply with quote

Or...why I think that Sparkx and his evil twin (that great newer guy Squat Toilet) will never become Mods.

Having mulled over this question all day and night in my hwajangsil, I have arrived at the conclusion that a pair of socks being given mod status would be about as amusing as a homoerotic Punch n' Judy show. I hereby challenge the gender-abiguous Rudy Ray Moore lookalike to prove his manly worth to me, preferably in person at the address I post on all my phone-booth flyers.

It's time someone called him on his claims, and who better to decide the making of a real man than your very own Hwajangsil Ajumma?
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sparkx



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: thekimchipot.com

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well its certainly nice to come home after a nice dinner at Bennigans to find this little gem waiting for me Nevjangsil Ajumma. I'm honored that you've spent so many long hours, no doubt while you were elbow deep in adjossi leavings, thinking about my little conundrum. Just so you know, I could never handle a woman as spry and virile as you. I would never fool myself into thinking I could satisfy you and your monsterous, gaping, grizzley bear cave of a cooter.

For the record, I'm making exceptional progress with the mod team. They've sent me a few pm's telling me that my behavior has been exceptional, and I should be getting a phone call from Sperling sometime within the next 6-42 months. In the meantime I've been asked to submit my resume so that all necessary paperwork can be completed and sent to the proper government agencies.

I guess that this thread is the best place to post it.

Mod's, for your reference:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Stanley "Sparkx" Schleppenheimer
Seoul, Korea
Contact number: pm

Past Experience(threads)

1. A really really serious question about Japanese Culture
2. The Gravity Experiment
3. The Elbow Name Game
4. Which Seoul Bus has the ugliest passengers?
5. I don't understand porn these days.
6. For Sale: A Sock I found behind my couch when i was cleaning (deleted)
7. My balls are itchy, what sould i do? (deleted)
8. TV shows you pleasured yourself to as a teen (deleted)

Awards/Recognition

1. Winner of the Gay or Stud Debate (2004)
2. Winner of the 2003 Yellow Beret (aka Most dedicated poster award)
3. Spent a weekend with D.Sperl whoring around Thailand

Why I want to become a mod

I live, eat, breathe and sleep Sperling.

Plus I love banning people.

REFERENCES AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST (or just pm Nev)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you mods, and I promise to continue being the best SAAMIT I can possibly be!!

Peace, love and kisses!!
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chiaa



Joined: 23 Aug 2003

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 6:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Handy with a hammer and circular saw too. I would add this if you really want the gig.
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Hwajangsil Ajumma



Joined: 02 May 2005
Location: On my knees in the stall

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A fine resume, Sparkx. How could I ever have doubted the author of not one, but THREE deleted threads?

I still suspect you're gayer than Liberace though, but that's a good thing as I'm TOTALLY hip to the metrosexual vibe, baby and think you homos are, like, sooooo fabulous.
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Swiss James



Joined: 26 Nov 2003
Location: Shanghai

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I remember correctly Hwajangsil Ajumma, Sparkx won the legendary "Gay or stud" thread by posting an image of himself modelling a ski glove and asking which posters male or female could honestly say they weren't feeling his flow.

Not one poster could honestly deny his awesome majesty, thus rendering all categories of sexuality irrelevant and ending the debate.


Shortly afterwards the board crashed due to Sparkx PM box filling up with bids for the glove.
It was a very special time in many people's lives.
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nev



Joined: 04 Jan 2004
Location: ch7t

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sparkx wrote:
Well its certainly nice to come home after a nice dinner at Bennigans to find this little gem waiting for me Nevjangsil Ajumma.


Huh?

I can only imagine you are delusionally upset after I took Mr Sperling's beret after winning the legendary and unprecedently popular Gravity Experiment.
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sparkx



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: thekimchipot.com

PostPosted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hwajangsil Ajumma wrote:
I still suspect you're gayer than Liberace though, but that's a good thing as I'm TOTALLY hip to the metrosexual vibe, baby and think you homos are, like, sooooo fabulous.


If you're trying to bully me into making sweet love to you, don't even bother. I learned my lesson back in 2001 when i was in Detroit.

There I was sitting in the Waffle House minding my own business when i noticed some big, black, lumpy beanbag chair with eyes staring at me..

Sista: Me Waneefa! Who you?
Me: Uhhhm, Sp-sp-sparkx.
Sista: Mmm-mmm-mmm. You wanna slide on summa dis?
Me: Uhhhm, no thank you
Sista: You and yo' freeeen's wanna run train on dis chocolate mountain?? (rubbing her buttocks)
Me: I'm here alone, sorry, and I gotta be leaving soon
Sista: Listen honkey, if you don't tap dis mudslide i'll be callin' Jamel to deal wit' chew!


I won't go into detail about what happened after that but lemme just say that I still carry the scars (emotional and physical) from those two hours on a dirty tarp in the back alley behind the Waffle House.

These days I only respond to compassion, tenderness and loving skinship. So if you really want me to bang you Toilet Woman you best change your tune and start being nice to mm-mm-me (*sniffle~~tear*)
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Hwajangsil Ajumma



Joined: 02 May 2005
Location: On my knees in the stall

PostPosted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 4:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Incredible! I believe that I, too, met that same lady of ponderous girth. However, I used the wit bestowed upon me by my years at Eton to reduce her to a quivering shadow of her former self. Allow me to briefly elucidate:

(Scene 1, Restrooms of "Roger's Big Sausage and Donut House", INT. Daytime):

A phone rings. The tubby, wizened ajumma shuffles her fat sausage-eatin' ass over to answer the call.

Ajumma: Yo! Who dis?

Caller: Who dis? Trey, what tha hell kinda way is dat to answer the phone, fool?

A: Dis be THA HWAJANGSIL AJUMMA. Whatchoo wan'?

C: This yo' mama speakin. I wan' two dozen glazed jello delights and four large Americanos to go, ASAP beeyatch.

A: Yo' goddit, mama. It be comin right up.

Cut to scene --- A clinically obese soul mama waddles up to the counter. The, no, THA HWAJANGSIL AJUMMA greets her with a large bag full of pre-packed goodies.

A: Here you go, ma'am. Dat be faahve dolla' y'all.

C: Well sheee'. It looken like I be forgettin' mah purse. Whatchawl say we jus' go back in dat purty little room back dere and get it aawn?

A: Daaaayyyum, mama. What kinda crack-ho' you think ah am? You be mixin wid' tha likes o' Sparkx and Squat Toilet, donchoo? Well hear dis:
<The following segment has been deleted to preserve common decency and the reputation of Roger's Big Sausage and Donut House, Inc.>

-----------------------------
Oh sorry. Looks like you never will learn the full extent of my rapier wit, after all. Never mind, dear boy.

Toodle-pip!
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