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What to say to a Korean person.

 
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Coffeecup



Joined: 30 Jun 2003

PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 7:35 pm    Post subject: What to say to a Korean person. Reply with quote

I am seriously thinking of going to Korea, perhaps as soon as a month away, perhaps by the end of the year.

I have been in a relationship with one Korean woman on and off for over 3 years. On the one hand she always acts like everything is fine even when she is a total monster (self-obsessed for one, standing me up because of her 'busy' schedule, inflicting her Christian principles on me as a way to explain various inconveniences, etc). On the other, we've had a few serious 'break-ups' but ended up back together simply because we are still in the same city. Yet even with the hints that we might not be together for very long, she still acts as though everything is status-quo and as smooth as a whistle.

If you were in that situation, what kind of approach do you recommend that will avoid the least amount of revengeful backstabbing? As we know sometimes such kind of parting can cause one or both to get extra nasty, so how do you think it is best to deal with it as far as telling her and getting your point across?

Perhaps what I'm looking for is the way which will prevent a Korean person from suddenly rising up in some kind of ultra-nationalist/self-righteous tirade.

Disclaimer: thread basically not open to those who question this, or who disagree with me, or who want to take a philosophical turn into the Feminist variety (we can get into that all you want on another thread). The reason is because this is set in stone, it has to be done, and for now strictly what is the best way should be stated. Also you can also either email me anonymously or PvtMsg instead if it's better.
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desultude



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Location: Dangling my toes in the Persian Gulf

PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't really have much in the way of advice. Breaking up is always diffucult.

Your woman sounds like a handful, which is probably why you are with her in the first place- maybe you love a challenge. But from the way you described her on another thread, the best route might be for you to email her once you are safely in Korea (only joking.)

It sounds like you are really attached, maybe in love with her? Good luck sorting it out.
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VanIslander



Joined: 18 Aug 2003
Location: Geoje, Hadong, Tongyeong,... now in a small coastal island town outside Gyeongsangnamdo!

PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you two have been on and off for three years, and you want it to be off again, then use your experience to break-up again, just like before, only in your head its forever this time. If you don't like how the previous break-ups went, then consider it the cost that comes with the benefits of a relationship with such a person, grit your teeth and bear it (from a distance).

Or you could give her a Dear Jenny letter.
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Coffeecup



Joined: 30 Jun 2003

PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 9:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks.

Phew, that was a close one. I just got off the phone with her. I caught her while she was taking a long nap and I'd woken her up, which I guess made her more calm and less of a tyrant.

Actually I should add that, more than looking for a 'breakup' or 'dump' of her, where I am really going with it is that (a) the location I am at now is not working for me, which leads me to (b) I've wanted to possibly go to Korea for a few years now. So for anyone wondering that might be, the only real urgency is I've got to get the heck out of this place.

Anyways we talked on the phone and she seemed to be less hysterical about it than I thought she would. Of course after several minutes she did start up on that guilt-trip thing "you don't understand me" and "you really don't care about me" which isn't true from all I've done for her so her Hillary-ness fizzled after a short few minutes. After a short while she seemed to be calm about it. I guess you guys were right in that the previous break-ups perhaps were the harder part(?). We'll see.

Anyways thanks for the good wishes. I guess we'll see how it goes from tomorrow after she's had a full day of school and she's ready to pull some more hair out and throw her tantrums.

I guess that's what a guy gets when he's in a relationship with a woman who is the youngest daughter of the family and was the star athlete of her school, not to mention the family dream over-achiever.
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