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R. S. Refugee
Joined: 29 Sep 2004 Location: Shangra La, ROK
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 3:56 pm Post subject: Thank God(dess). Bert and Ernie arrested for sodomy. |
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Down with Gay Muppets. -- Dr. Dodson
'PBS announces new schedule'
By Rich Procter
THIS JUST IN...By way of addressing the major shift in America to Honest Republican Values�� and the Culture of Life�� as embodied by Virtuous Wingnuts��, PBS has just announced a revised schedule for a typical day of broadcasting.
MORNING CHILDRENS' BLOCK
SESAME STREET - New characters "Righteous Rabbit" and "Divinity Dawg" have Bert and Ernie arrested on suspicion of violating anti-sodomy statutes. Grover turns in Big Bird for using steroids, and Special Permanent Guest Resident James Dobson joins Cookie Monster in presenting the Letter of the Day, "C" for "Corporal Punishment," which he gleefully demonstrates on Zoe with a tire iron while Oscar the Grouch holds her down.
CLIFFORD GOES TO GITMO! . . .
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/article.php?sid=21031&mode=nested&order=0 |
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Ya-ta Boy
Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Location: Established in 1994
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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Who outed Bert and Ernie in the first place? |
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Hwajangsil Ajumma
Joined: 02 May 2005 Location: On my knees in the stall
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 10:07 pm Post subject: |
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'Twas I who outed them. Their smutty ways and constant denial of their true selves is an affront to good people like myself who want only to drink long and deep of the well of the free life.
I hereby resolve to visit them at their place of penitence and educate them in the works of Oscar Wilde, babycham and tantric yoga; you'll see what markedly reformed characters they are upon their eventual release. |
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AJRimmer
Joined: 31 Jan 2004
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2005 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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Is the cookie monster still cool???
I don't think I could handle him turning into a poof |
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dogbert
Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 12:11 am Post subject: |
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I'm just waiting for the day when that fraud Dobson gets the Jimmy Bakker/Swaggart treatment. There must be something there, just waiting to be exposed. |
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hypnotist
Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Location: I wish I were a sock
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 12:32 am Post subject: |
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AJRimmer wrote: |
Is the cookie monster still cool???
I don't think I could handle him turning into a poof |
He's going to start eating cookies strictly in moderation.
Seriously. |
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R. S. Refugee
Joined: 29 Sep 2004 Location: Shangra La, ROK
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 12:41 am Post subject: |
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AJRimmer wrote: |
Is the cookie monster still cool???
I don't think I could handle him turning into a poof |
No telling what's going on inside that garbage can. Right, Ace? |
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Konundrum
Joined: 28 Feb 2005 Location: Boston
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 4:59 am Post subject: |
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hypnotist wrote: |
AJRimmer wrote: |
Is the cookie monster still cool???
I don't think I could handle him turning into a poof |
He's going to start eating cookies strictly in moderation.
Seriously. |
This is true...he's actually starting to scarf various fruits and veggies...(none of them named "Ernie" or "Bert").
So is "Cookie Monster" a species or just a name? Are there female Cookie Monsters? |
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AJRimmer
Joined: 31 Jan 2004
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 10:06 pm Post subject: |
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hypnotist wrote: |
He's going to start eating cookies strictly in moderation.
Seriously. |
That makes me so angry!
He's called the "Cookie" moster because he is obsessed with cookies.
Take away that obsession and you also take away his right to have the word "cookie" in his name
Instead of the Cookie Monster, he becomes just another common purple puppet operated by a homosexual |
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R. S. Refugee
Joined: 29 Sep 2004 Location: Shangra La, ROK
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Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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AJRimmer wrote: |
hypnotist wrote: |
He's going to start eating cookies strictly in moderation.
Seriously. |
That makes me so angry!
He's called the "Cookie" moster because he is obsessed with cookies.
Take away that obsession and you also take away his right to have the word "cookie" in his name
Instead of the Cookie Monster, he becomes just another common purple puppet operated by a homosexual |
Y'know, you really do sound a lot like the real Rimmer character. Good going. |
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guangho
Joined: 19 Jan 2005 Location: a spot full of deception, stupidity, and public micturation and thus unfit for longterm residency
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 2:14 am Post subject: |
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Rimmer...rimming...rim...rimshot.... |
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Nowhere Man
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 2:38 am Post subject: ... |
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I heard that the reason for this is that Bert and Ernie are planning to get married.
I can't recall of this missed the board or I got it from here, but there are plans for Cookie Monster:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/4432415.stm
Serious plans.
And this article wins because of the cryptic message at the bottom. |
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flakfizer
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Location: scaling the Cliffs of Insanity with a frayed rope.
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 4:42 am Post subject: |
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dogbert wrote: |
I'm just waiting for the day when that fraud Dobson gets the Jimmy Bakker/Swaggart treatment. There must be something there, just waiting to be exposed. |
And why must there be something there? The fact that you put him in the same company as Bakker and Swaggart is very telling indeed. |
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dogbert
Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Location: Killbox 90210
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 4:58 am Post subject: |
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flakfizer wrote: |
dogbert wrote: |
I'm just waiting for the day when that fraud Dobson gets the Jimmy Bakker/Swaggart treatment. There must be something there, just waiting to be exposed. |
And why must there be something there? The fact that you put him in the same company as Bakker and Swaggart is very telling indeed. |
Telling on him, you mean.
How many of these god-damned Christian fundamentalist hypocrites have we given a pulpit to berate us about "family"?
Enough is enough. |
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R. S. Refugee
Joined: 29 Sep 2004 Location: Shangra La, ROK
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Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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flakfizer wrote: |
dogbert wrote: |
I'm just waiting for the day when that fraud Dobson gets the Jimmy Bakker/Swaggart treatment. There must be something there, just waiting to be exposed. |
And why must there be something there? The fact that you put him in the same company as Bakker and Swaggart is very telling indeed. |
I don't think that "there must be something there." But the probability is high just as the probability of humans succumbing to temptation is high. As one non-rabid common man observer said of Clinton's dalliance, it's easy to "tsk, tsk" about something like that and feel morally superior. But if you're just a regular guy like me instead of someone who is rich and/or powerful and/or famous, you're not so likely to have comely interns waving their thong panties under your nose and trying for all their worth to get some action with you. So, it's much easier to be so righteous when you don't get presented with so much temptation anyway.
And here's another clue for the terminally naive (I don't mean you, flakfizer). Ministers are famous for extra-marital dalliances -- hetero and homo. They're just in that position of authority and prestige among a group that they lead that increases the likelihood that someone is going to want to relate to them sexually as an "alpha" male or conversely that they're going to assume that they can foist unwanted sexual attention on their followers.
So, dogbert is right to the extent that Dobson has enough power, prestige among like-minded people, and probably enough wealth as well, that he would be a likely candidate for someone wanting to "claim coup" with an "alpha" male or for him assuming he can make advances on comely followers.
Pardon me while I go off and try to become rich, famous, and/or powerful so I can get me some of that good ole time temptation.
Jesus had the right idea when he saved the adultress from being stoned to death by saying, let you who is without sin cast the first stone. Too bad most (all?) the leaders of those right wing "Christians" who claim to worship him seem to have missed that part of the gospel. |
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