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Ladies, how should we approach you?
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Zulethe



Joined: 04 Jul 2008

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:54 pm    Post subject: Ladies, how should we approach you? Reply with quote

OK, so I'm not in Korea and I haven't had a date in a long, long time.

It's mostly been by choice because I've been concentrating on school but I decided that now that I'm so close to graduating, I want to get back into the dating scene again.

So my question to the ladies is, what's the best way to approach you?

Do you like to be complimented? Do I need to wait for you to smile at me first? Should I make small chit chat? Or should I just walk up to you and just ask you out for coffee?

I know this sounds lame but I've never been one to approach women out of the blue and I'm going to have to in the area that I'm in because it's slim pickings.

Guys feel free to chime in as well but I'm really interested in hearing how the ladies feel about this.
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Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Buy me a few drinks hon, and I'm yours for the evening.


Just don't expect me to cook you breakfast, mmmk?
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 1:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This sounds like a question for Zackback.
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Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK listen up.

1. Don't be concerned about approaching them. Let them approach you. Now you say you are graduating soon and I assume you are coming to Korea. I'll just say the Philippines is the best. You just show up to places anywhere and everywhere and magic always happens. I have learned that being in the Philippines is so normal - ya know how things should be with the women. Yeah there are a few stuck up ones and you gotta be careful of others but overall this place is a dream. Ponce de Leon should have come here to look for the Fountain of Youth because this place is definitely it.

2. If in Korea as I pointed out to someone else somewhere else on this forum if you ain't a freak you should have no problem finding a really pretty Korean lady but remember it may take some time. I say it comes in waves here. You may not hook up for awhile then find someone then all of a sudden the opportunities are endless.
You know how it is with women. You don't have a girlfriend it seems really tough just to get one. You get one and then all of a sudden it's so less difficult to get others. Chicks are just like that. No changing them so just know what it is.

3. Unless really unusual circumstances allow it never say to people/ especially any ladies that you don't have a girlfriend but are looking for one. It's a sign of weakness, confusion and desperation. Chicks get turned off by stuff life that...and even some of them (many?) may think something is wrong with you (crazy?) because why is it that no girl is with you now? So play it cool. Even use female friends as a "girl - friend" but never say you are not seeing anyone or interested at all in anyone else. You might throw in that there is a girl (preferably in the plural) that is/are interested in you but you aren't with her/them.
Ya see chicks like the adventure so the thought of taking you away from anyone else really spurs them on to do it. Chicks dig that. Be rather secretive but in a cool (not an insane) kind of way. Chicks love the mysterious.

4. Know your audience. Hey man, it's the same with teaching. I wouldn't bring up some subjects with a college students as I would with a class with Korean moms. My approach would be different...sometimes totally different.
Is she a college chick? freshman? (My favorites) sophomore? junior? senior?
Did she just graduate and is now looking for a job or does she now have one?
Has she been working for years?
etc etc?

Each group has peculiar dynamics to it and so once I happen to meet a lady I really listen to know where she is with these kinds of things. Now of course that list can be added to quite a bit with various present day circumstances but I'll say again know your audience and go all out in catering to it!

5. I can write and give so much more great information but I'll stop here. If you or anyone else has a first date with a chick let me know and I'll give you (free) advice about certain dos and don'ts which will keep your lucky lady friend totally enamored by your charm.
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Consider this thread Zackbacked.
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radcon



Joined: 23 May 2011

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In the long run, hookers are cheaper in every way.
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Zulethe



Joined: 04 Jul 2008

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zackback wrote:
OK listen up.

1. Don't be concerned about approaching them. Let them approach you. Now you say you are graduating soon and I assume you are coming to Korea. I'll just say the Philippines is the best. You just show up to places anywhere and everywhere and magic always happens. I have learned that being in the Philippines is so normal - ya know how things should be with the women. Yeah there are a few stuck up ones and you gotta be careful of others but overall this place is a dream. Ponce de Leon should have come here to look for the Fountain of Youth because this place is definitely it.

2. If in Korea as I pointed out to someone else somewhere else on this forum if you ain't a freak you should have no problem finding a really pretty Korean lady but remember it may take some time. I say it comes in waves here. You may not hook up for awhile then find someone then all of a sudden the opportunities are endless.
You know how it is with women. You don't have a girlfriend it seems really tough just to get one. You get one and then all of a sudden it's so less difficult to get others. Chicks are just like that. No changing them so just know what it is.

3. Unless really unusual circumstances allow it never say to people/ especially any ladies that you don't have a girlfriend but are looking for one. It's a sign of weakness, confusion and desperation. Chicks get turned off by stuff life that...and even some of them (many?) may think something is wrong with you (crazy?) because why is it that no girl is with you now? So play it cool. Even use female friends as a "girl - friend" but never say you are not seeing anyone or interested at all in anyone else. You might throw in that there is a girl (preferably in the plural) that is/are interested in you but you aren't with her/them.
Ya see chicks like the adventure so the thought of taking you away from anyone else really spurs them on to do it. Chicks dig that. Be rather secretive but in a cool (not an insane) kind of way. Chicks love the mysterious.

4. Know your audience. Hey man, it's the same with teaching. I wouldn't bring up some subjects with a college students as I would with a class with Korean moms. My approach would be different...sometimes totally different.
Is she a college chick? freshman? (My favorites) sophomore? junior? senior?
Did she just graduate and is now looking for a job or does she now have one?
Has she been working for years?
etc etc?

Each group has peculiar dynamics to it and so once I happen to meet a lady I really listen to know where she is with these kinds of things. Now of course that list can be added to quite a bit with various present day circumstances but I'll say again know your audience and go all out in catering to it!

5. I can write and give so much more great information but I'll stop here. If you or anyone else has a first date with a chick let me know and I'll give you (free) advice about certain dos and don'ts which will keep your lucky lady friend totally enamored by your charm.


Good post Zack. I thought you were an ass clown but I'm actually impressed by your contribution. The one I need to take to heart which I haven't been doing is not to tell them that I haven't had a date for in over a year LOL

Come to think of it, by telling them that I think I have turned some of them off and like you said they may think something is wrong with me.

Especially when you consider that I'm a tall good looking man.

But this thread is more than just talk. I'm going to put the suggestions to action....maybe I can hire a camera-person to follow me around and film the results.
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northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zackback is largely on the mark, but I would ignore rule number one unless you want to limit yourself to dating hookers.
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Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

1. In terms of #1 ...just go where the nice girls are. No problem.
2. Ya know when I was single (as in no girlfriend) and went by the ladies at certain places they wouldn't give me the time of day. One day a lady friend (yes, just a friend) hung out with me and all of a sudden the same ladies who would totally ignore before suddenly took an interest. Well I am not sure if they were interested but at least they smiled and said hello. What changed? I was the same guy from a just a few days ago.
Now what if I was with my female friend and we just happened to be holding hands as we went by them? What if I went another day with another female friend doing the same thing? You see what I mean?
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littletelly94



Joined: 02 Dec 2012
Location: Korea

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

northway wrote:
Zackback is largely on the mark, but I would ignore rule number one unless you want to limit yourself to dating hookers.


I agree -- and goldiggers/women who only want the green card, etc.

It's really not hard to approach. Just say hi, introduce yourself and possibly offer to buy a drink. Have a normal conversation. Remember that the worst thing that can happen is that she'll indicate she's not interested. Not a big deal. And I've seen Korean women get really flattered at terrible pick-up lines. So even then you've got some wiggle room.

Quote:
Do you like to be complimented? Do I need to wait for you to smile at me first? Should I make small chit chat? Or should I just walk up to you and just ask you out for coffee?


My only comment here is that you should avoid overtly sexual comments with someone you've just met, unless they're a hooker. Recently a guy approached me at a café, then as we were taking a walk, he complimented me out of the blue by saying that I had a great butt (a different word was used, obvs). I wasn't interested after that.

Approaching can seem intimidating, but it's not so bad. Whenever I'm afraid to approach someone, I just think "the worst thing they can say is no."
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Zulethe



Joined: 04 Jul 2008

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

littletelly94 wrote:
northway wrote:
Zackback is largely on the mark, but I would ignore rule number one unless you want to limit yourself to dating hookers.


I agree -- and goldiggers/women who only want the green card, etc.

It's really not hard to approach. Just say hi, introduce yourself and possibly offer to buy a drink. Have a normal conversation. Remember that the worst thing that can happen is that she'll indicate she's not interested. Not a big deal. And I've seen Korean women get really flattered at terrible pick-up lines. So even then you've got some wiggle room.

Quote:
Do you like to be complimented? Do I need to wait for you to smile at me first? Should I make small chit chat? Or should I just walk up to you and just ask you out for coffee?


My only comment here is that you should avoid overtly sexual comments with someone you've just met, unless they're a hooker. Recently a guy approached me at a café, then as we were taking a walk, he complimented me out of the blue by saying that I had a great butt (a different word was used, obvs). I wasn't interested after that.

Approaching can seem intimidating, but it's not so bad. Whenever I'm afraid to approach someone, I just think "the worst thing they can say is no."


You made a very important point. As guys we know the importance of a compliment but when we are excited those compliments at times come out the wrong way.
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Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 5:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If she has a great body perhaps ask if she goes to the gym and/or exercises. If she does then you can complement her and then based on her response (if she's a cool chick she'll appreciate it) you can ask about more about her exercise routines, where she works out, how often etc etc.
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happiness



Joined: 04 Sep 2010

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice post there, Zackback. Ive heard the Phillipines is pretty rockin for guys, but you also are expected to support their families. Yikes. Well, I guess for harmless fun, but still..

Um..just talk to girls casually, ask them something they can expound on, so theyll talk to you more, that way, theyll feel more comfortable. Im a white American, but I speak Korean rather well (if I may say) so when I meet someone I want to get to know better. I just ask them a question they have to expound on, not just how are you. That way, they have to do the most of the conversation, and I listen to them, and girls like that, being listen too. It also softens the shock of being a non-Korean speaking to them (if thats a thing).

Also, you should decide what kind of realtionship you are looking for, but dont let that out, just have it in your mind....Smile

Im single now though:)
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Maserial



Joined: 31 Jul 2005
Location: The Web

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

northway wrote:
This sounds like a question for Zackback.


This comment, when isolated, is pretty standard, but when the next post down is

Zackback wrote:
OK listen up.


you just know the stars were in alignment.
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Zulethe



Joined: 04 Jul 2008

PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 7:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zackback wrote:
If she has a great body perhaps ask if she goes to the gym and/or exercises. If she does then you can complement her and then based on her response (if she's a cool chick she'll appreciate it) you can ask about more about her exercise routines, where she works out, how often etc etc.


Yes...real nice mate but I'm in a world of heavyweights. What should I do now, ask if they want me to join Jenny Craig with them?
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