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Prenuptial agreements

 
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Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:12 pm    Post subject: Prenuptial agreements Reply with quote

Some people may say it just demonstrates a lack of trust but I think with the way people are today something like this is necessary. Is there an easy and/or appropriate way to have her sign the dotted line to this without coming off as some kind of cad?
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GF



Joined: 26 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are bigger issues at stake than coming across like a cad.

Zack, I gather you're a believer. I'm not sure if you're Catholic or protestant, but either way I assume you believe that marriage is sacred. From what I understand, a prenuptial agreement offends the sacrality of marriage and may render it invalid. It subjects the marriage to doubt from the get-go - like you said, it demonstrates a lack of trust. There are exceptions to this, but it is better not to put your name on such an evil thing, and instead to seek a devoted and virtuous wife, even though that can be arduous today. And the search will make you a better man, one a wife is less liable to want to leave.

I hope this helps. Let me know more about yourself and your situation, if you like.
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Zackback



Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Location: Kyungbuk

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks. Yes, I am Protestant. It's just that even within those with similar beliefs as me I just see a lot of insanity after their marriages. I mean I have virtually given up on marrying a woman from back home. Their so-called independent mind-set abhors me. I just enjoy it in these parts so much better.
However, I am at a point in my life (mid 40's) where I am wanting to settle down but the dilemma I face is that the women my age just seem so old. This is due from the fact that I get tons of attention from the younger ladies. Now I know youth is on their side so of course they will physically be more appealing but things such as this (both the attention I get and their looks) are indeed transitory.
Every time I think of pursuing someone my age I think about how so very pretty and attractive the ladies in their late teens and early 20's are but then at other times I say to myself "Wise up man" - get a woman that is more established in her thinking and can be someone you intellectually relate to as well.
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CentralCali



Joined: 17 May 2007

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Depending on the jurisdiction in which you find yourself, a prenuptial agreement may very well be moot anyway, as in having no legal effect whatsoever.
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edwardcatflap



Joined: 22 Mar 2009

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Every time I think of pursuing someone my age I think about how so very pretty and attractive the ladies in their late teens and early 20's are but then at other times I say to myself "Wise up man" - get a woman that is more established in her thinking and can be someone you intellectually relate to as well.


Just think, who's more likely to behave like Nolos' psycho? A mature woman or one in her late teens? Anyway If you're mid forties you can still marry someone a lot younger than you who's emotionally mature.
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 9:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zackback wrote:
Every time I think of pursuing someone my age I think about how so very pretty and attractive the ladies in their late teens and early 20's are but then at other times I say to myself "Wise up man" - get a woman that is more established in her thinking and can be someone you intellectually relate to as well.


In my experience it's more about attracting people who know who they are in life. There are 20s something’s who know themselves and their values very well and aren't easily swayed, and there are 40s something’s who still have no clue who they are and will become a huge problem one day without warning (and then you have to deal with the repercussion of that, because you married them!).

All smart guys are wary of getting involved with these unstable freaks, and wisely so. Long talks and straight questions are helpful in my experience; how they view the role of the sexes, how they view men, how they view family, how their family was, etc. Most people actually answer quite truthfully and so you know exactly what you are in for. Guys who marry psychos…well probably she was a psycho from the beginning, you were just blind to it! Wink

So my way of thinking is that a prenup is ridiculous because one should already know the person isn't that sort of person. If there is doubt in them then no relationship with them in the first place. That said, women prey on this sort of trust and people are so messed up these days a prenup probably isn’t a bad idea. The penalty for bailing on the arrangement should be going it alone, with nothing, and starting over; not profiting from it financially as people in the West are so fond of doing.
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 9:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

edwardcatflap wrote:
Just think, who's more likely to behave like Nolos' psycho? A mature woman or one in her late teens?


But that's really hard to answer. I sure can't answer it based on age. A lot of teens are immature and directionless, thereby changing directions frequently, but then a lot of women go nuts around their 40s because they realize they have been living a lie.

Example: a guy I knew in college who married his dorm sweetheart, had three kids, big house, he's a successful architect. We all learn on FB she went totally psycho this year; started banging everyone, joined a cult, living out her dreams she had suppressed, she will of course take all the money because it is the USA, and he'll start over in a dirt shack with no visitation privileges yet huge child support payments, even though he did nothing wrong.

The above story is what I think most dudes dread and why we don't want to get married. But how is age going to tell you if she is a future psycho?

If she's 80 there is less probability because she has less time to live, there is that I guess. Anyone into grammas? This is Dave's after all, never know.
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GF



Joined: 26 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zackback wrote:
Thanks. Yes, I am Protestant. It's just that even within those with similar beliefs as me I just see a lot of insanity after their marriages. I mean I have virtually given up on marrying a woman from back home. Their so-called independent mind-set abhors me. I just enjoy it in these parts so much better.


It often seems to me that Christian women are generally more feminist than other Western women. Some Catholic women have told me that they’ve sworn never to obey a man. That’s perverse. The combination of being feminist liberals at heart while belonging to a religion that is manifestly sexist and traditional seems to completely rot their consciences. And in Korea as well I think the Christian women are more feminist than the general run of Korean women, likely because they’ve imbibed their Christianity with a dose of Westernization of the modern decadent variety.

I can’t say that I agree about marrying an Eastern woman. It works out for some men, but the cultural and racial differences are enough to make me prefer the route of finding a decent Western woman, even if it comes at the cost of increased feminist tendencies.

That said, I know that there are beautiful young Christian women, even in America, who are committed to traditional sex roles.

Zackback wrote:
However, I am at a point in my life (mid 40's) where I am wanting to settle down but the dilemma I face is that the women my age just seem so old. This is due from the fact that I get tons of attention from the younger ladies. Now I know youth is on their side so of course they will physically be more appealing but things such as this (both the attention I get and their looks) are indeed transitory.

Every time I think of pursuing someone my age I think about how so very pretty and attractive the ladies in their late teens and early 20's are but then at other times I say to myself "Wise up man" - get a woman that is more established in her thinking and can be someone you intellectually relate to as well.


I understand. These days even much slighter age differences than 20 years are looked at with suspicion if not hatred. This is also thanks to feminism.

A thing being transitory (while indicating a lack of that perfection found in the eternal) doesn’t mean it is not good or desirable in itself. Do not trust anyone who tries to turn you against youthful beauty, and more importantly, against the sexual innocence it expresses.

It is statistically true, however, that younger women are more likely to divorce than older women. This is not necessarily because older women are more virtuous – it is just as likely because older women, being less physically attractive, have fewer options, and know it. The bottom line is we live in a world where divorce is considered unpleasant, but normal, by women of all ages.

And that reveals one of the surest ways to minimize the risk of divorce: find a woman from a social milieu in which divorce is considered evil. When such a woman goes to her friends and family for advice on how to handle a problem in her marriage, they will never, ever plant the idea of divorce in her head.


Last edited by GF on Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
However, I am at a point in my life (mid 40's) where I am wanting to settle down but the dilemma I face is that the women my age just seem so old. This is due from the fact that I get tons of attention from the younger ladies.


You work in the Philippines - right? Rolling Eyes

Which passport do you hold again............... Rolling Eyes

Yep they're speaking to you for your charm and looks..... Rolling Eyes

Roll a dice and find a diamond - or luck out......

I've seen soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many older western guys hooking up with younger PP and Thai girls......... Most of these guys are so deluded about themselves; it's past the point of funny!
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actionjackson



Joined: 30 Dec 2007
Location: Any place I'm at

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lucas wrote:
Quote:
However, I am at a point in my life (mid 40's) where I am wanting to settle down but the dilemma I face is that the women my age just seem so old. This is due from the fact that I get tons of attention from the younger ladies.


You work in the Philippines - right? Rolling Eyes

Which passport do you hold again............... Rolling Eyes

Yep they're speaking to you for your charm and looks..... Rolling Eyes

Roll a dice and find a diamond - or luck out......

I've seen soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many older western guys hooking up with younger PP and Thai girls......... Most of these guys are so deluded about themselves; it's past the point of funny!

My sentiments exactly.
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comm



Joined: 22 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lucas wrote:
Yep they're speaking to you for your charm and looks..... Rolling Eyes
...
I've seen soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many older western guys hooking up with younger PP and Thai girls......... Most of these guys are so deluded about themselves; it's past the point of funny!

Which part of his post was extolling his charm and looks? Zackback is being perfectly rational, and isn't making any claims as to the reason he's getting attention because that's completely irrelevant to the topic.

The topic is prenuptial agreements. If you have an opinion on that, you should contribute. Personally, I'd see it as a risk vs reward proposition. How much are you risking by not doing it? How much do you gain by doing it? The former will vary for each person based on finances, the latter will vary for each person based on their (and their partner's) perception of it. Only you can do the math on it.
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Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Which part of his post was extolling his charm and looks?


He wasn't I know.

I guess he just brought back some visions and memories of some of the guy's and their 'girlfriends/wives' I've spoken to during my trips to the Philippines....... Laughing

I guess they aren’t quite as bad as some of the older guys who go to Cambodia..... Rolling Eyes
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