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China’s ‘Leftover’ Women
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Privateer



Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Easy Street.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This isn't just a women's issue. The value of men also goes down as they get older, just not as soon as it does for women. A guy can compensate for aging with wealth, but then the odds of his young wife cheating on him go up.

But there's always true love. Crazy talk, I know.
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sirius black



Joined: 04 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 5:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We are not talking about “fugly” wonen. The scenarIo is that these ivy league wonen are speaking to men who are initially interested in them UNTIL they learn they went to Harvard and possibly have a high powered job. Its happened often enough that the phrase “H bomb” was coined. Google it and there are a few articles about it.
These arent all ditch digging men. They are college educated.
These are not women who have attitude and are making an excuse. Its men who stop pursuing when they find out she is a Harvard grad and solely that.
It may not be you but enough men are intimidated by it to have a phrase being coined.
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sirius black



Joined: 04 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 5:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

visitorq wrote:
^ So you're actually trying to tell us that some attractive, charming young woman who graduated from Harvard is going to have troubles finding a mate? Because of this so-called 'H-bomb' anecdote (and not because of an alternate explanation, like her not being either attractive or charming)? Right...

no. You are saying that. Many women including attractive nonHarvard educated women complain about the American dating scene including the quality of men out there.
Seeing the types of guys who come to Korea they may have a point. To be fair there is plenty for men to complain about.
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The Cosmic Hum



Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sirius black wrote:
These are not women who have attitude and are making an excuse. Its men who stop pursuing when they find out she is a Harvard grad and solely that.


Do you really believe that?

They are probably woman with attitude and making an excuse.
Quite likely, they are not very attractive either...and when the men find out that they have an attitude too...they stop pursuing them.

The fact that they went to Harvard is quite probably the least of their detractors.

But no doubt they are very clever and good at making up excuses for just about anything... people in general are pretty good at that.
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visitorq



Joined: 11 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 10:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sirius black wrote:
visitorq wrote:
^ So you're actually trying to tell us that some attractive, charming young woman who graduated from Harvard is going to have troubles finding a mate? Because of this so-called 'H-bomb' anecdote (and not because of an alternate explanation, like her not being either attractive or charming)? Right...

no. You are saying that. Many women including attractive nonHarvard educated women complain about the American dating scene including the quality of men out there.

In that case, I'm calling BS. Either these "attractive" women aren't as attractive as they think, or they're all holding out for Brad Pitt (or whoever) and have ridiculously high/unrealistic standards. Beyond that, the idea that attractive educated women would have any problem finding mates seems exceedingly unlikely.

But if these Harvard hotties really are having so much trouble, maybe you should let me know where they can be found and I'll do my part to help out Wink
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sirius black



Joined: 04 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Calling something you don't know about and happens to Harvard and Yale educated women BS doesn't make it so. No one is saying these women aren't dating. The point you seem to be repeatedly failing to grasp is that there are men who are intimidated by highly educated women. Enough of them for a phrase to be coined for it.
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sirius black



Joined: 04 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Cosmic Hum wrote:
sirius black wrote:
These are not women who have attitude and are making an excuse. Its men who stop pursuing when they find out she is a Harvard grad and solely that.


Do you really believe that?

They are probably woman with attitude and making an excuse.
Quite likely, they are not very attractive either...and when the men find out that they have an attitude too...they stop pursuing them.

The fact that they went to Harvard is quite probably the least of their detractors.

But no doubt they are very clever and good at making up excuses for just about anything... people in general are pretty good at that.


So, the phrase she's "out of my league" means nothing and just appeared in english lexicon out of the air? Be it beauty, accomplishment and yes, education.

You're making excuses for men who can't handle it. Songs are written about women who men deem are too good for them ("Creep" - Radiohead, "Over my head" - The Fray come mind). Movies are made about it.
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visitorq



Joined: 11 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 3:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sirius black wrote:
Calling something you don't know about and happens to Harvard and Yale educated women BS doesn't make it so. No one is saying these women aren't dating. The point you seem to be repeatedly failing to grasp is that there are men who are intimidated by highly educated women. Enough of them for a phrase to be coined for it.

I'm supposed to take your word for it just because you claim there's a coined term? Whatever. You frankly haven't provided a single shred of evidence that it's actually true, aside from your saying so. It's not that I'm failing to grasp your point - it's just that your point just isn't convincing enough to be accepted. Sorry.

Saying that there are men out there who are intimidated by highly educated women is basically a truism (since there are also plenty of men who aren't intimidated by it and would be happy to date an attractive Harvard graduate, assuming they actually are attractive). And you've already basically admitted (above) that those women aren't having problems finding dates. So where's the relevance?
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sirius black



Joined: 04 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 4:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

visitorq wrote:
sirius black wrote:
Calling something you don't know about and happens to Harvard and Yale educated women BS doesn't make it so. No one is saying these women aren't dating. The point you seem to be repeatedly failing to grasp is that there are men who are intimidated by highly educated women. Enough of them for a phrase to be coined for it.

I'm supposed to take your word for it just because you claim there's a coined term? Whatever. You frankly haven't provided a single shred of evidence that it's actually true, aside from your saying so. It's not that I'm failing to grasp your point - it's just that your point just isn't convincing enough to be accepted. Sorry.

Saying that there are men out there who are intimidated by highly educated women is basically a truism (since there are also plenty of men who aren't intimidated by it and would be happy to date an attractive Harvard graduate, assuming they actually are attractive). And you've already basically admitted (above) that those women aren't having problems finding dates. So where's the relevance?


Its not my phrase. I posted a link that used the phrase. You obviously didn't read my post carefully enough. Try using google and you will see the phrase in that context being used.

You admitted my point as true that men are intimidated by Harvard educated woman by calling it a truism. So, you agree after denying it. I'm not sure why you say if they are attractive Harvard grads as if a Harvard educated woman can't be attractive as well. Silly to suggest there aren't any. google 'pictures of pretty harvard women' or any such search words and I'm sure you can find a few.

The relevance is mainly to prove the point that some men are intimidated by Harvard grads. Some of the preceding posts were saying otherwise.
As for it being a dating problem, how much one dates would be the issue. They could be dating more if some men weren't intimidated by them. It also addresses the self esteem issues of some men.
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NYC_Gal 2.0



Joined: 10 Dec 2010

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So they're over 27 and educated? Let them move west and find slightly older guys who dig Asian girls. No real issue here, except for China losing valuable brain power.
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The Cosmic Hum



Joined: 09 May 2003
Location: Sonic Space

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 8:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sirius black wrote:
The Cosmic Hum wrote:
sirius black wrote:
These are not women who have attitude and are making an excuse. Its men who stop pursuing when they find out she is a Harvard grad and solely that.


Do you really believe that?

They are probably woman with attitude and making an excuse.
Quite likely, they are not very attractive either...and when the men find out that they have an attitude too...they stop pursuing them.

The fact that they went to Harvard is quite probably the least of their detractors.

But no doubt they are very clever and good at making up excuses for just about anything... people in general are pretty good at that.


So, the phrase she's "out of my league" means nothing and just appeared in english lexicon out of the air? Be it beauty, accomplishment and yes, education.

You're making excuses for men who can't handle it. Songs are written about women who men deem are too good for them ("Creep" - Radiohead, "Over my head" - The Fray come mind). Movies are made about it.


I realize you are just trying to maintain your position on this, but I feel you are being a bit disingenuous by changing the goal posts...no?

I'm not arguing with you...was just curious if you really believed what you wrote.
That these apparently attractive, pleasingly mannered, well educated woman were losing dates solely because they went to Harvard.
Once again...do you really believe that?
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visitorq



Joined: 11 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sirius black wrote:
visitorq wrote:
sirius black wrote:
Calling something you don't know about and happens to Harvard and Yale educated women BS doesn't make it so. No one is saying these women aren't dating. The point you seem to be repeatedly failing to grasp is that there are men who are intimidated by highly educated women. Enough of them for a phrase to be coined for it.

I'm supposed to take your word for it just because you claim there's a coined term? Whatever. You frankly haven't provided a single shred of evidence that it's actually true, aside from your saying so. It's not that I'm failing to grasp your point - it's just that your point just isn't convincing enough to be accepted. Sorry.

Saying that there are men out there who are intimidated by highly educated women is basically a truism (since there are also plenty of men who aren't intimidated by it and would be happy to date an attractive Harvard graduate, assuming they actually are attractive). And you've already basically admitted (above) that those women aren't having problems finding dates. So where's the relevance?


Its not my phrase. I posted a link that used the phrase. You obviously didn't read my post carefully enough. Try using google and you will see the phrase in that context being used.

You admitted my point as true that men are intimidated by Harvard educated woman by calling it a truism. So, you agree after denying it. I'm not sure why you say if they are attractive Harvard grads as if a Harvard educated woman can't be attractive as well. Silly to suggest there aren't any. google 'pictures of pretty harvard women' or any such search words and I'm sure you can find a few.

The relevance is mainly to prove the point that some men are intimidated by Harvard grads. Some of the preceding posts were saying otherwise.
As for it being a dating problem, how much one dates would be the issue. They could be dating more if some men weren't intimidated by them. It also addresses the self esteem issues of some men.

Oh, I see. So "some men" are intimidated... As if you couldn't apply "some men" to pretty much anything else in the world (i.e. "some men [insert possibility here]"). What a revelation.

In other words, you really had no relevant point to begin with, but you're still clinging to it right to the end... I hereby concede your non-point to you.
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Unposter



Joined: 04 Jun 2006

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, I haven't posted in a long time; I have been incredibly busy and actually I still am but you guys keep sucking me in...in this case, I think everyone is being a little overly semantic.

I haven't read the whole thread but...

It is never about being "able" to find a date. I am sure women from Harvard, like 99% of all women, "can" find a date. No one really thinks this way. When people say they "can't" find a date, it means I can't find the type of person I am looking for, something that people of both genders, across educational attainment and socio-economic class have, at least at times, have problems with.

Should the fact that some women from Harvard or other intelligent and/or well-educated women sometimes can't find the kind of person they are looking for surprise us? It certainly doesn't me.

Why?

Well, I see two basic reasons:

1. Highly accomplished women generally want highly accomplished men and, well, there are just fewer highly accomplished men.

2. Highly accomplished men, while there are many differenty types, such as Bill Gates, who prefered a highly accomplished women, there are also men like Donald Trump, who prefer serial "trophy wives." Since some to many accomplished men prefer trophy wives, this limits the pool of "prefered" men for accomplished women.

Is any of this bad?

I don't see why. People are free to choose as they want and to not choose if they want. Men and women are seeking out their happiness and ending up with or without the people they want.

So, what?

This is really a non-issue.
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sirius black



Joined: 04 Jun 2010

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

visitorq wrote:
sirius black wrote:
visitorq wrote:
sirius black wrote:
Calling something you don't know about and happens to Harvard and Yale educated women BS doesn't make it so. No one is saying these women aren't dating. The point you seem to be repeatedly failing to grasp is that there are men who are intimidated by highly educated women. Enough of them for a phrase to be coined for it.

I'm supposed to take your word for it just because you claim there's a coined term? Whatever. You frankly haven't provided a single shred of evidence that it's actually true, aside from your saying so. It's not that I'm failing to grasp your point - it's just that your point just isn't convincing enough to be accepted. Sorry.

Saying that there are men out there who are intimidated by highly educated women is basically a truism (since there are also plenty of men who aren't intimidated by it and would be happy to date an attractive Harvard graduate, assuming they actually are attractive). And you've already basically admitted (above) that those women aren't having problems finding dates. So where's the relevance?


Its not my phrase. I posted a link that used the phrase. You obviously didn't read my post carefully enough. Try using google and you will see the phrase in that context being used.

You admitted my point as true that men are intimidated by Harvard educated woman by calling it a truism. So, you agree after denying it. I'm not sure why you say if they are attractive Harvard grads as if a Harvard educated woman can't be attractive as well. Silly to suggest there aren't any. google 'pictures of pretty harvard women' or any such search words and I'm sure you can find a few.

The relevance is mainly to prove the point that some men are intimidated by Harvard grads. Some of the preceding posts were saying otherwise.
As for it being a dating problem, how much one dates would be the issue. They could be dating more if some men weren't intimidated by them. It also addresses the self esteem issues of some men.

Oh, I see. So "some men" are intimidated... As if you couldn't apply "some men" to pretty much anything else in the world (i.e. "some men [insert possibility here]"). What a revelation.

In other words, you really had no relevant point to begin with, but you're still clinging to it right to the end... I hereby concede your non-point to you.


LOL...you doubted the phrase. I proved it was a legitmate phrase. You doubted men were intimidated by Harvard educated women and thenlater admitted it.

No clinging...lol...you were proven wrong. It happens. Deal with it.
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visitorq



Joined: 11 Jan 2008

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sirius black wrote:
LOL...you doubted the phrase. I proved it was a legitmate phrase. You doubted men were intimidated by Harvard educated women and thenlater admitted it.

No clinging...lol...you were proven wrong. It happens. Deal with it.

Except this isn't what happened at all. I never doubted the phrase. I doubted its validity and relevance. And I was right to do so, since you still haven't provided a single shred of evidence that attractive Harvard graduate girls have a hard time finding mates, or that men (except for "some men", which is so vague as to be meaningless) are intimidated by them. You would have us believe it was such a big deal that they would all actively go out of their way to lie about it, or not be able to find any men. I said this sounds like absolute nonsense (because an attractive girl would have no need to do so), and you have yet to prove otherwise. Bottom line is most men would probably happily date a nice, attractive young girl who graduated from Harvard. Unless she's not actually attractive or nice.

Beyond that, you are clinging, and your non-point has been shown to be totally irrelevant to the discussion (I am not alone in pointing this out). You should probably take your own advice and deal with it.
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