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IPayInCash
Joined: 27 Jul 2013 Location: Away from all my board stalkers :)
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Posted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 8:51 pm Post subject: |
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The OP is Dodge7. That makes this thread even funnier. |
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alongway
Joined: 02 Jan 2012
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:47 am Post subject: |
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Everything I've heard from Koreans is that the father typically gets custody, often because they have the better job and can better take care of them.
It's the complete opposite of North America. |
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Janny
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Location: all over the place
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:57 am Post subject: |
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OP, your dream. It means...
This is not over.
Get her and your kid out of Korea. Or leave her and start over.
I predict divorce. Sorry. But...I'm divorced, very happily. I don't have a child, though. There will lie your heartbreak.
But hearts heal. |
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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 5:44 am Post subject: |
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I find the double standard in this thread interesting. The OP said several times that his wife is physically abusive, and yet no one suggested he divorce her. Imagine if a woman came on the board and said her husband was physically abusive? |
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Janny
Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Location: all over the place
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 6:55 am Post subject: |
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I think the double standard is obvious and logical.
1) Men are usually physically stronger than women. So in an instance of assault, a woman will probably bear tougher injury than a man receiving assault from a woman. Not in all cases, but most.
2) Men are more prone to physical aggression than women. Women use psychological warfare, when they can. Or they get help. Men lash out with their fists. Again, not all men. But many...especially in Korea.
I predicted divorce because the OP sounds like a self-aware, open person (who referred to his wife as a "psycho" lol). He will be the victim of mind games throughout this marriage. She will be the victim of his obtuse unaffection. She will be the victim of her own frustration. She will lash out at him in many ways, and the LEAST damaging will be a slap across his cheek.
He mentioned the physical abuse only to carry this case further to his side, to support the "psycho" label. I doubt very much he is in physical danger.
The biggest victim will be the child, especially if they stay married and continue arguing for most of their days. I suspect the OP knows this too. |
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cdninkorea
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Location: Seoul
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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Janny wrote: |
I think the double standard is obvious and logical.
1) Men are usually physically stronger than women. So in an instance of assault, a woman will probably bear tougher injury than a man receiving assault from a woman. Not in all cases, but most.
2) Men are more prone to physical aggression than women. Women use psychological warfare, when they can. Or they get help. Men lash out with their fists. Again, not all men. But many...especially in Korea. |
Yes, a man will inflict more damage if he hits a woman, and men are more likely to be physically violent, but in this case it's the woman who's violent, not the man. Also, if a woman has a weapon or knows where and how to hit without one, she can inflict a lot of damage. |
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chrisinkorea2011
Joined: 16 Jan 2011
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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IPayInCash wrote: |
The OP is Dodge7. That makes this thread even funnier. |
when we ALL KNOW youre one of the many personas of Dodge7, give it a freaking break and stop being a tool. |
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Old fat expat
Joined: 19 Sep 2005 Location: a caravan of dust, making for a windy prairie
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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and men are more likely to be physically violent |
Research by Giles and Strauss says otherwise. The problem is one of the parties is 30% larger and stronger. Incidence of violence is almost the same (slightly higher for women truth be told) but it is the results of the violence that is the problem. Just saying (it is such an important social problem it is important to know the facts). |
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Threequalseven
Joined: 08 May 2012
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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All I can say is that it's pretty ridiculous that his wife didn't even bother talking about why she was upset before just up and leaving. I'm amazed at some of the responses on here. The dude probably deserved a stern talking-to, but to have his whole livelihood threatened, christ. How can anybody say this is normal? The guy didn't even know why she left. |
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Fox
Joined: 04 Mar 2009
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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Old fat expat wrote: |
Quote: |
and men are more likely to be physically violent |
Research by Giles and Strauss says otherwise. The problem is one of the parties is 30% larger and stronger. Incidence of violence is almost the same (slightly higher for women truth be told) but it is the results of the violence that is the problem. Just saying (it is such an important social problem it is important to know the facts). |
I also remember reading that women are more likely to use weapons, which can negate that strength differential. I am probably two or three times stronger than my wife, but if she hit me with a pan, that's not going to matter much. And if I were to pin her down and take it, I've opened myself up being declared abusive!
Fortunately, my wife is not at all violent, but I can understand the real challenges a man married to a violent woman faces. Society will not help him, and would probably even mock him. |
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The Cosmic Hum
Joined: 09 May 2003 Location: Sonic Space
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 11:34 pm Post subject: |
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Threequalseven wrote: |
All I can say is that it's pretty ridiculous that his wife didn't even bother talking about why she was upset before just up and leaving. I'm amazed at some of the responses on here. The dude probably deserved a stern talking-to, but to have his whole livelihood threatened, christ. How can anybody say this is normal? The guy didn't even know why she left. |
Maybe...but one of his other personalities probably did. |
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Old fat expat
Joined: 19 Sep 2005 Location: a caravan of dust, making for a windy prairie
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Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2013 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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The guy didn't even know why she left. |
This is the problem with being an 'alpha'. Why should he have cared? |
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IPayInCash
Joined: 27 Jul 2013 Location: Away from all my board stalkers :)
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Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2013 2:36 am Post subject: |
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chrisinkorea2011 wrote: |
IPayInCash wrote: |
The OP is Dodge7. That makes this thread even funnier. |
when we ALL KNOW youre one of the many personas of Dodge7, give it a freaking break and stop being a tool. |
I am not Dodge7. |
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