Site Search:
 
TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International
Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index Korean Job Discussion Forums
"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Teachers from Around the World!"
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Are Koreans usually this generous with lending money???
Goto page 1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
itiswhatitis



Joined: 08 Aug 2011

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:57 pm    Post subject: Are Koreans usually this generous with lending money??? Reply with quote

In January I needed some minor dental surgery and didn't have the money.

It was in a lot of pain and wanted to get the surgery done with but did not have the money and my credit card was maxed out.

I asked my former Korean co-teacher (public school) to borrow money because I was in a great deal of pain and I was desperate.

For the record, I am 30 (and a man), she is 48 and married and we get together 1-2 times a year. To be painfully honest, I mostly get together with her to grease her and to make sure that she is still happy with me and will continue to give me a good work reference.

The amount was 450 000 won and I paid her back the next month as promised. She didn't hesitate at all to lend me the money.

Something I notice is that it is much more socially acceptable to ask to borrow money in Korea than it is in say America or Canada.

Is she just really nice or is this typical Korean behavior?

Thanks!!!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
RangerMcGreggor



Joined: 12 Jan 2011
Location: Somewhere in Korea

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

From my personal experience, while Koreans can come off as cold and cruel to outsiders, they really go out of their way to protect people who are in their "inner circle."
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Lucas



Joined: 11 Sep 2012

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your posts are getting more and more random.

Get back on the meds! Twisted Evil
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Weigookin74



Joined: 26 Oct 2009

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

RangerMcGreggor wrote:
From my personal experience, while Koreans can come off as cold and cruel to outsiders, they really go out of their way to protect people who are in their "inner circle."


Sounds like some good insight into Korea here.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
thebearofbundang



Joined: 02 Sep 2012
Location: Bundang

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 1:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My wife (who is Korean), is a lot more willing than I am to lend our money to friends and family. I understand the family part, but she's always asking to lend money to her friends or my friends when they find themselves in a bit of a jam.

Another observation I have made during my time living here is that our Koreans friends are far more likely to pick up the bill at dinner, a night out etc. I almost feel embarrassed when we go out with my international friends and they take 10 minutes to divide up tabs/bills from the evening out. She usually just tells me to pick it up and next time they can. Next time out the exact same process is repeated. I of course explain to her it's a different 'culture' and remind her that there are plenty of things from her culture that I don't understand. I think this is one of the reasons (along with a lot is ESL teaching worried about paying off student loans back home) that leads to the generalization from many Koreans that foreigners are cheap and unwilling to share even amongst friends.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Waygeek



Joined: 27 Feb 2013

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lucas wrote:
Your posts are getting more and more random.

Get back on the meds! Twisted Evil


No, you just don't like it because it's no hateful...

In my experience Koreans will bend over backwards for you if you are a friendly, decent person, but that is the same everywhere I've lived really...

I mean who is gonna refuse a guy in extremely serious pain? C'mon...
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I my experience, it's Westerners - Americans specifically - who are super weird about loaning money. The rest of the world tends to be a lot more generous.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
joelove



Joined: 12 May 2011

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't believe generosity or stinginess is cultural. I think it's personal. Some will help however they can, lend money or whatever, though unfortunately sometimes they get burned, and others are reluctant to do these things for whatever reason, maybe having been burned before. Some people are more trusting, others are not. I don't see how these things could be cultural when every culture has its share of jerks and fine people. They seem more dependent on personal experience and values, perhaps learned through family or just from dealing with others.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
No_hite_pls



Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Location: Don't hate me because I'm right

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RangerMcGreggor wrote:
From my personal experience, while Koreans can come off as cold and cruel to outsiders, they really go out of their way to protect people who are in their "inner circle."


+1

If they like you, Koreans can be awesome friends. Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 4:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No_hite_pls wrote:
RangerMcGreggor wrote:
From my personal experience, while Koreans can come off as cold and cruel to outsiders, they really go out of their way to protect people who are in their "inner circle."


+1

If they like you, Koreans can be awesome friends. Very Happy


For sure. My Korean friends have more actively had my back than anyone else in the world, including most individuals with whom I share bonds of blood.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Died By Bear



Joined: 13 Jul 2010
Location: On the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Borrowed some money from a Korean gal once.

Spent it all on hookers and blow.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
wishfullthinkng



Joined: 05 Mar 2010

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thebearofbundang wrote:
Another observation I have made during my time living here is that our Koreans friends are far more likely to pick up the bill at dinner, a night out etc. I almost feel embarrassed when we go out with my international friends and they take 10 minutes to divide up tabs/bills from the evening out. She usually just tells me to pick it up and next time they can. Next time out the exact same process is repeated. I of course explain to her it's a different 'culture' and remind her that there are plenty of things from her culture that I don't understand. I think this is one of the reasons (along with a lot is ESL teaching worried about paying off student loans back home) that leads to the generalization from many Koreans that foreigners are cheap and unwilling to share even amongst friends.


i love the korean style of one-two people paying for the meal. if i'm ever with foreigners who insist on taking an hour to divide the check super specifically i make sure to not have dinner with them in the future. it's embarassing and a waste of time.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
No_hite_pls



Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Location: Don't hate me because I'm right

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wishfullthinkng wrote:
thebearofbundang wrote:
Another observation I have made during my time living here is that our Koreans friends are far more likely to pick up the bill at dinner, a night out etc. I almost feel embarrassed when we go out with my international friends and they take 10 minutes to divide up tabs/bills from the evening out. She usually just tells me to pick it up and next time they can. Next time out the exact same process is repeated. I of course explain to her it's a different 'culture' and remind her that there are plenty of things from her culture that I don't understand. I think this is one of the reasons (along with a lot is ESL teaching worried about paying off student loans back home) that leads to the generalization from many Koreans that foreigners are cheap and unwilling to share even amongst friends.


i love the korean style of one-two people paying for the meal. if i'm ever with foreigners who insist on taking an hour to divide the check super specifically i make sure to not have dinner with them in the future. it's embarassing and a waste of time.


lol Agreed!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
northway



Joined: 05 Jul 2010

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No_hite_pls wrote:
wishfullthinkng wrote:
thebearofbundang wrote:
Another observation I have made during my time living here is that our Koreans friends are far more likely to pick up the bill at dinner, a night out etc. I almost feel embarrassed when we go out with my international friends and they take 10 minutes to divide up tabs/bills from the evening out. She usually just tells me to pick it up and next time they can. Next time out the exact same process is repeated. I of course explain to her it's a different 'culture' and remind her that there are plenty of things from her culture that I don't understand. I think this is one of the reasons (along with a lot is ESL teaching worried about paying off student loans back home) that leads to the generalization from many Koreans that foreigners are cheap and unwilling to share even amongst friends.


i love the korean style of one-two people paying for the meal. if i'm ever with foreigners who insist on taking an hour to divide the check super specifically i make sure to not have dinner with them in the future. it's embarassing and a waste of time.


lol Agreed!


I get embarrassed to be a white person when white people pull that crap. Seriously a deal-breaker.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Mr. BlackCat



Joined: 30 Nov 2005
Location: Insert witty remark HERE

PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In my experience, most of the time when a Korean 'treats' you to dinner it has less to do with generosity and more to do with control. Yes, they pay which is nice, but you must sit there for as long as they choose, they will order for you, they will force you to drink as much as they want to drink and then you must do whatever they want to do afterwards. Not always, but this is often the case. Sometimes it really is out of generosity, I'm not denying that.

Having said that, people in their 20s in every culture are cheap. Now that I'm in my 30s my friends and I may split the bill, but we just throw in equal amounts. Or one of us just pays full stop, whatever. We're more financially secure. I think many of you are comparing 30-50 year old Koreans to 22 year old ESL teachers. Even a 22 year old Korean will likely still live with mom and dad, have no student debt and an allowance from the parents to go with their salary if they have one. It's just not the same.

In any event, I think it's just indicative of our different cultures. The West is more egalitarian while the East is more hierarchical. Many people don't appreciate when others pay for them, it disrupts the equality of the group. It has little to do with being cheap, it's just about being equal.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Korean Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> General Discussion Forum All times are GMT - 8 Hours
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling.
Contact Dave's ESL Cafe
Copyright © 2013 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved.

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group

TEFL International Supports Dave's ESL Cafe
TEFL Courses, TESOL Course, English Teaching Jobs - TEFL International