Korean Job Discussion Forums

[kimiki]

I believe it was Walt Whitman who coined this phrase, describing his vocation as a poet. It comes to my mind now as I look back on my time teaching in Korea. Almost can't believe it, but it's true, I did it. I survived 3 full years in the ROK and am on my way home now...waiting in the airport for my connecting flight. Wanted to write a post to encourage any who may be in a place of anguish or doubt, as I was at various stages of my time there. There were times when I felt very off track of my life plan, and regretted going to Korea. But I weathered through it and managed to:

--meet my financial goals
--learn a lot about teaching, curriculum development, and more
--meet some really special people
--stay in 1 school the entire time, negotiating for better conditions each year and build a good relationship with my boss
--and somehow most miraculously, keep my long distance relationship alive with the man I really love, in spite of several temptations (and 1 or 2 transgressions...a-HEM! :/ A lot of lonely nights there, what can I say....)

If I can survive the ultra-tricky work and social scene here in Korea, anyone can. Specifically, here is what helped me/my advice to any who might want or need it:

1. Save your a** off!!!! Entertainment and socializing are the obstacles here. Do free stuff. Get a kindle, learn to love reading, walk, bike, cook at home. If you find yourself in a social circle you're spending more than you planned to every weekend, thanks to spontaneous jaunts to this place or that, regular noraebanging, brunching or drinking expensive imported beer...put the brakes on. Fast. You might have to find new friends. Some people just can't live any other way. Don't get caught up with them, you can find other stuff to do.

2. Get over your fear/trepidation of immigration and all the red tape issues. I had the fortune of living literally a stone's throw away from the immi office in my city. This helped me get over my strong unconscious dread of going there. I used to go in with little questions (not trivial stuff, genuine q's) to get myself comfortable with the place. I also used to eat lunch in this buffet place that was in the same building, where most of the workers have lunch every day. Some of them got to know me from seeing my face so much I guess, and when the time came that I had a couple of rather big issues they were remarkably helpful, I'll never forget it. But even if you can't see your local immigration office basically from your window, as I more or less could, just find out exactly where it is. Go there. Forge the path there. Check it out. It's an important resource for us and we should feel comfortable accessing it.

3. Take classes online to develop your skills. Either in a new area or in ESL, if you see a future for yourself in this field. It's a mistake not to invest in education at this point in time, the job market being what it is and also since there are so many good courses/programs available online.

4. Don't become friends with people at work. Don't regard them as your friends. Keep a professional facade on and keep it on tight. I could go on and on with my thoughts about this but to sum it up-- I suggest keeping in mind two things: one, Korean people have, in my experience, an uncanny ability to hear only what they want to hear, see only what they want to see. I found consistently that things I told people were-- not only spread around the office like wildfire-- but also twisted and misinterpreted in the most perplexing, inexplicable ways. And no, it was not due to language issues. It happens when people have a rigid idea of something and are determined to maintain that rigid schema, because it suits them for various reasons, and therefore try to fit any new piece of information into that set of thoughts one way or another. Eventually I learned to give people as little information as possible. This made life much less frustrating for me.

5. Exercise-- it's the best stress reliever ever.

6. Learn to love humanity. Even if you have treacherous coworkers as I did, try and remember that any act of meanness is an expression of suffering.

7. Dave's is great too. there are some really smart people here, good insights, support and advice abound, you just have to weed through all the posturing. Plus when you feel like you're losing it you can come here and vent. It helps a lot.

Most importantly, it helps if you really love kids and have a genuine passion for teaching.

Also, on a more provocative note, it helps significantly if you work for someone who secretly wants to bed you. My hagwon owner was a genuinely decent human being, who I know admired me as a teacher because I was rigorously devoted to my work. But the fact that he took my side on so many occasions, said yes to almost everything I asked for, and smoothed tons of shit out for me, times that were my fault and times that weren't, was I'm pretty sure due to the ongoing, unspoken sexual tension between us.

Take that however you want. It's just a fact of life in my opinion. Carnal desire and basic pride are huge motivators of human behavior. It's less of an issue in an atmosphere where people play fair. But that's not the case here. My point is, there are enough strikes against us in this environment. Make it work for you if you can. It's a useful tool.

Well, hope this is helpful to someone. Though more likely it's a tale full of sound and fury signifying nothing. And I'm fine with that! Bye everyone, thanks a lot for your help and tolerance here <3

And thanks to Korea, what a journey it's been!!! I will always love and be grateful to this place (in spite of the fact that I never wish to go back, lol). It's a charming country, best students ever, society and culture at a crossroads and I hope they take the high road. Could be a really cool place someday.

[NYC_Gal 2.0]

1. Cooking at home (for foodies at least) costs a lot more than eating out. Also, saving one's ass off isn't necessarily everyone's goal. Not everyone is here for the short term, so living like a miser isn't desirable. Save a reasonable amount, and don't deny yourself that wedge of cheese, anniversary gift, or weekly date night.

2. It's a government office. It will stink. Nobody enjoys going.

3. Take classes in a school, in person. They're much better than online, and more highly regarded. It is not a mistake to invest in education if you aren't taking out any loans.

4. My boss is a great friend, and we go out often. She's even signed my release letter for my new job, and we still hang out. Don't overgeneralize. My former coworkers were horrid old bags. This can be the case anywhere.

5-7 seem about right.

[JustinC]

Wow! What a journey! You worked in one school in one country, we should all bow down to your superior knowledge of how to ****-tease a boss. Well done.

"that any act of meanness is an expression of suffering"

I can imagine what the source of their suffering was..

[Dave Chance]

Well at least the OP is candid about using sexual tension as a tool to get what she wanted.

[JustinC]

"1 or 2 transgressions...a-HEM! :/ A lot of lonely nights there, what can I say....)

If I can survive the ultra-tricky work and social scene here in Korea, anyone can."

Would've been entertaining as a blog.

[fermentation]

I don't believe in absolutes but as a general rule of thumb, I agree with number 4. The workplace needs to be professional.

[lemak]

[Dave Chance]

[newb]

[KimchiNinja]

[John Stamos jr.]

[wishfullthinkng]

[PatrickGHBusan]

Interesting story OP...

Glad you "made" it out alive.

As for the "sexual tension" angle...how would it work for same sex work relationships (male teacher, male boss or female teacher - female boss)?

Perhaps it would be a tad more challenging to exploit carnal desire as a motivator for a straight teacher and employer who are of the same sex...but hey perhaps some people can try it out and let us know how that works out

As for your points, they are quite valid. Especially 1, 2, 3, 5, 7(within limits).

I would say 4 highly depends on each person and where they work. I became great friends with co-workers at some of my jobs, while at others it remained strictly professional. This included many Korea co-workers. Office chit chat is culturally blind. I worked in places where other FTs were far worse than fellow KTs and vice versa.

6 is also debatable. People are selfish by nature (how selfish varies). Acts of meaness are not all borne of suffering, some are responses to other people being idiots at work or offensive.

I did enjoy the parting good wishes for Korea, a place that could conceivably become "cool" one day...coo for whom, now that is another debate.

Good luck on your return home OP and here is hoping the man of your life who awaits you there does not mind your one or two transgressions in Korea.

[tatertot]

[wishfullthinkng]