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Way-dar

 
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World Traveler



Joined: 29 May 2009

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:48 am    Post subject: Way-dar Reply with quote

Quote:
We have the ability to get a feel for a person within minutes of meeting them. After a little conversation, we can get a pretty good judgment of a person, a sort of vibe. It might not be foolproof, but I would bet on my built-in scumbag detector any day.

However, this detector does not work so well across cultures. That is, Koreans have not developed a keen sense of which foreigners are worthwhile and sincere and which ones are lowlifes, morons, or liars. Koreans need to develop a good 외dar.

Having a good 외dar means picking up on the little clues that reveal a person’s character. Like “terminator vision,” this device helps a person analyze a target quickly, make an assessment, and move on. A good 외dar can save a person a lot of time and maybe a little heartbreak.


http://10mag.com/happy-ending-wayda/

Quote:
It was not until I came to Korea that I realized that this device is not common to all humans. Or to be more precise, every culture has its own unique set of criteria, and those criteria are not always effective when dealing with people outside of the standard set.
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UknowsI



Joined: 16 Apr 2009

PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree, but I think it goes both ways. It can be difficult to understand what kind of personality a Korea person has if you are not familiar with Korean culture. If you are not familiar with the culture in question, it will be hard to distinguish personal traits and cultural traits.

EDIT: After reading the article I noticed that his last paragraph says exactly the same thing as I said. I guess that just means I agree with his article. Too add something new, the article mostly focus on how people start to hang out with people they normally would not like because they are unable to judge their personality. But I think it is the same skill which will make people get offended by jokes which are intended as harmless or when sarcasm is used and not understood.
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Mix1



Joined: 08 May 2007

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Hopefully Koreans don’t over-correct and adopt a blanket anti-foreigner response.

Hmm.

Learning to tell us apart from one another first would be helpful. The way-dar doesn't help much if they are always thinking we are someone else.

Went into the local grocery store one day and the owner asked me why I fell asleep on the street the night before. When I told him it wasn't me, he wouldn't believe it. Months of building a good impression washed away instantly. Ran into the sleeper a week later and he looked nothing like me, not even the hair color or height was similar.

(Also worked with three teachers, one with blonde hair, one with red hair, one with brown hair. They looked completely different yet the Koreans (even the coworkers) constantly confused them, even saying the hair color was almost the same. Talk about lumping people together. Come on, if we could distinguish between hundreds of students all with the exact same color hair (BLACK), surely they could distinguish between three foreigners?)
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cj1976



Joined: 26 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm pretty sure I have seen those fellas in Itaewon quite recently.
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Steelrails



Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Location: Earth, Solar System

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heck many a waygook has poor radar when it comes to other waygooks.

Time and time again I've been at bars and watch some random guy worm his way into a group with the expressed purpose of getting free drinks. Rule for guys- No dude is that interested in meeting new dudes unless he's thirsty and has no glass and no money...Or extenuating circumstances (alone on business trip and catching a game at the bar)

Of course we've all met completely nuts fresh out of college Liberal-Arts student who just seems normal but every 10 minutes says something completely nuts/references incredibly obscure stuff.

Then the small towners have a good one for the K-dar- Beware the K-girl who acts all crazy drunk in the bar on the weekend home and goes to random tables to meet guys AND smokes. Now in a big city that's nothing. In a small town that should set off the K-dar. If you want to meet up, get her number and meet her in the big city but be prepared for her to be a nut. Don't crap where you eat. Can't believe how many overly-naive liberal-artsy friends have been like "Hey this girl smokes, hooks up easily, doesn't have anything to do with her parents, has a tattoo, and loves to party. This is a great Korean girl. She's a free spirit." 1 month later they're wondering what they got themselves into and wonder if she's cheating on them and where their private tutoring cash went.

Then of course you've got the awkward "Where's the white women at?" K-dude that leeches onto your foreign group and charms his way in with the clueless guys by buying them some drinks and then proceeds to creep out 5/6 of the girls there while the 6th one (usually socially retarded/Overly obsessed with K-Pop) falls for it and drags everyone else along in a night of her saying "Doesn't he remind you of (k-pop star)?" and everyone else saying "I see good things happening here....."
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mix1 wrote:
They looked completely different yet the Koreans (even the coworkers) constantly confused them, even saying the hair color was almost the same.


This reminds me of TV show Deception with Kieth Barry and the guy who does not even notice when his date is switched 3 times. ie, some people are so focussed on themselves that they don't even notice the most obvious changes around them.
A lot of people like that nowadays.
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Mix1



Joined: 08 May 2007

PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Steelrails wrote:
"... This is a great Korean girl. She's a free spirit." 1 month later they're wondering what they got themselves into and wonder if she's cheating on them and where their private tutoring cash went.

Then of course you've got the awkward "Where's the white women at?" K-dude that leeches onto your foreign group and charms his way in with the clueless guys by buying them some drinks and then proceeds to creep out 5/6 of the girls there ...

Laughing
Spot on. (Both situations)
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everything-is-everything



Joined: 06 Jun 2011

PostPosted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had an adult student of mine saying he wanted to go to Itaewon to meet "Western friends".

poor bastard
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Julius



Joined: 27 Jul 2006

PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 5:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

everything-is-everything wrote:
I had an adult student of mine saying he wanted to go to Itaewon to meet "Western friends".

poor bastard


A lot of koreans have a positive open-hearted wish to meet foreigners.

Directing them to the pack of a*s*holes that linger around itaewon is probably the worst thing you could do to them.
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Draz



Joined: 27 Jun 2007
Location: Land of Morning Clam

PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:29 am    Post subject: Re: Way-dar Reply with quote

My radar is ridiculously fine-tuned. This is a big problem. It wasn't always like this. When everything clicked into place was when living here became truly unbearable and I started hiding in my apartment all the time.
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Times30



Joined: 27 Mar 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mix1 wrote:
Steelrails wrote:
"... This is a great Korean girl. She's a free spirit." 1 month later they're wondering what they got themselves into and wonder if she's cheating on them and where their private tutoring cash went.

Then of course you've got the awkward "Where's the white women at?" K-dude that leeches onto your foreign group and charms his way in with the clueless guys by buying them some drinks and then proceeds to creep out 5/6 of the girls there ...

Laughing
Spot on. (Both situations)


I wish I read this 4 years ago...
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cj1976



Joined: 26 Oct 2005

PostPosted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 5:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Julius wrote:
everything-is-everything wrote:
I had an adult student of mine saying he wanted to go to Itaewon to meet "Western friends".

poor bastard


A lot of koreans have a positive open-hearted wish to meet foreigners.

Directing them to the pack of a*s*holes that linger around itaewon is probably the worst thing you could do to them.


Tiny bit harsh. Itaewon is not exactly wall to wall a-holes. You can meet some pretty interesting adults there who have some real world life experience and that includes the soldiers.
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KNet229



Joined: 02 Jan 2012
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i agree with the article. i think the language and culture carries that exist allow people with sub-par personalities to make friendships with koreans (and vice-versa) because there's an inability to properly gauge their character. this applies to the dating scene here as well
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World Traveler



Joined: 29 May 2009

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Video response to the article:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs-4r8-jgCo
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