Korean Job Discussion Forums

[Jodami]

[Francis-Pax]

Trolling?

[Stain]

[ghostrider]

A Korean American talks about her encounter with a Korean woman who got upset at her for speaking English:

"She was saying how she wanted to kill us and how if she had a knife she would've killed us on the spot because we were speaking English in Korea."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPWLrVcIxoo

[joelove]

It was years ago, but I used to hang out with a Korean-American guy in Seoul, and worked with others. I'll just use the guy I knew and give secondhand information about the way he saw it and how he was treated sometimes. Once or twice I witnessed it too when we were out for food/drink.

His Korean ability wasn't that good. Good enough to manage basic conversation I think, and perhaps with a strange, well American, accent. I'm imagining this throws native Koreans off a lot when they naturally assume the Korean-looking person is a local and expect language fluency and awareness of cultural norms and all that stuff. It has to be confusing for many Kyopos to adjust to as well.

I saw an old ajosshi dude get angry at him for speaking English, though he was talking to me. A white guy. You know the type, it was rude as hell, "Ya, Han Guk Mal Hae" -- oh well of course you'll encounter crap like that once in a while. The intolerant and narrow-minded ajosshi is not a rare specimen.

(One Korean-Canadian girl I worked with once got berated pretty harshly at work by the older man too. He would not have spoken to a white girl like that, I doubt. He seemed like a nice guy usually, at least to me. That was awful. She was really upset. She hated Korea and the attention she got with her white boyfriend. She didn't stay too long.)

He complained even about getting stared at. Weird, because he was totally ethnically Korean, both parents. Maybe he was a bit paranoid. He said he'd get a lot of attention for speaking English so naturally well as an American, in public, on his phone or with someone. Or even from reading an English language book on the subway, he imagined.

Man, this guy was quite an asshole too. He'd hit on any girl anywhere. I mean just walking down the street, especially when he was drunk. He'd lie about his job and age. Very self-centered and egotistical. But kind of fun to hang out with all the same. Eh, sometimes it was hard to choose your buddies over there.

[wanderkind]

[jvalmer]

[Yaya]

[cbmufc]

I'd have to say there are more positives than negatives, around 70-30 ratio depending mainly on language ability. I'm not fluent, but I can pull off a good accent so most people assume I'm Korean so I haven't been berated for not speaking the language or not following cultural norms.

Most kyopos that visit, work, or live in Korea in my experience have overwhelmingly positive experiences, especially males but plenty of female gyopo friends loved visiting Korea too. For the guys, at least, we're not bottom-feeder anymore like we are back in the states. We get a lot more attention from the females once they learn we're kyopos. Some of the females seem to be attracted by our ability to speak English, or still, many dream of marrying and moving abroad where they don't have to deal with the stresses of Korean adult womanhood in the workforce or their own archaic family values.

I'd have to slightly disagree with the above poster about attractions to kyopos being less now than the 90's. Today, there's so many foreigners including kyopos so there isn't as much of a wow factor like before, but being a female in korea still sucks. Many still want to study or live abroad, and see a kyopo as a great option for a mate without all the baggage and drama of marrying into another traditional korean family. My wife is korean-korean. we live in the US now. Her friends occasionally tell her, jokingly or not, how much they envy her and how lucky she is.

I personally didn't get a lot of crap from older males/adjoshis, but again it's probably due to being able to speak the language. Most young guys are kind of awkward when meeting you because they're not sure how to address you with all the seniority stuff, but usually think positively of kyopos. The adjoshis and adjummas are usually impressed when you tell them you're from the US or wherever. I think most of the kyopos that have negative experiences with the older adults have them because they speak loudly in English for an annoyingly long time in a closed space (taxi, crowded bus/subway, etc).

workplace? the place I worked treated me well, but I'm sure other kyopos have been discriminated against. Overall though, the kyopo experience in Korea is a positive one.

[catman]

I thought gyopo males had an easier time than the gyopo ladies do?

[cbmufc]

[Yaya]

I guess I've simply been in Korea longer than most gyopos. I disagree that the gyopo experience is a largely positive one because many times, you want to fit in but no matter how much you try or do, you won't be accepted nearly as much as you think. Many times, Koreans will exploit the gyopo willingness to fit in, as in pour extra work on you and stuff.

I've gotten also fluent in the Korean language, and getting better on that front has had minimal benefit in many ways. Even expats have spoken of how becoming fluent in Korean is a double-edged sword in that you hear what Koreans REALLY think of you and the like.

I've also heard of quite a few Korean women living in the U.S. who miss Korea and consider returning, sort of Stockholm syndrome.

And gosh, Korea can do with fewer gyopos, many of whom go around thinking they're hot stuff when many would be lower than schmucks on the street in the West.

As for gyopo women, well, I've heard of how many can't stand the social mores they're held to, like doing the dishes and cooking. I'm sure many gyopo girls do like Korea but for a short time, and that's the thing about keeping the gyopo experience positive in Korea -- sweet and short.

[pkjh]

Gyopo myself, Korean is intermediate, I do understand way more than I can put into words though. Just love it here. If you don't have any family here, it is virtually impossible to fit into the culture because it's so much based on blood ties. Otherwise, it's pretty easy.

It isn't too hard to fit into the culture, at least for a male. Just don't be an a-hole to people then you're usually fine. I can see why gyopo girls have problems here, but that's because it's there older relatives expecting them to fit into traditional roles. Also, for all 20-something gyopos, you've got to be less sensitive too, and not take Korean's criticisms to personally. I'm no longer in my 20's and I had to deal with the all racism, and douches, back home to thicken my skin. But it was always minor stuff. It usually bothered my sister, and some friends, but I never let it get to me.

Anyways, gender-role attitudes are changing fast. Once was at my aunt's home with my cousin and his new bride. My aunt basically said, along with another aunt, that my cousin's new wife didn't have to do any cooking, or work, since they wanted her to come back next year. Also, they probably expect my cousin not to continue the ancestor veneration after my parent's generation all pass-on.

[cbmufc]

[jjajangmyun]