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Is dating harder for expat women?
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World Traveler



Joined: 29 May 2009

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The enormous gender imbalance (the greatest in the world for certain demographics) is absolutely relevant to this conversation. I don't see how anyone could argue it is not.
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byrddogs



Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Location: Shanghai

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

World Traveler wrote:
The enormous gender imbalance (the greatest in the world for certain demographics) is absolutely relevant to this conversation. I don't see how anyone could argue it is not.


Good thing that you keep reminding everyone of this, otherwise we'd have forgotten.

Who is arguing about that, btw?
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Yaya



Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think Western women tend to be pickier, and well, I can't blame them in certain respects as many Korean men won't be able to converse in English that well, unless they're gyopos or studied abroad.

Quite a few Western women here also tend to be of the heavier set, and that's a big turnoff.
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guavashake



Joined: 09 Nov 2013

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 10:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ATM SPIDERTAO wrote:

The problem is, Korean are more inclined to see someone as a sexual trophy instead of a long-term committed girlfriend.


There were 35,098 marriages between foreigners and Koreans in 2010.

http://next.upi.com/archive/2012/03/07/Korean-traditions-challenged-as-mixed-marriages-soar/6361331162839/
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nate1983



Joined: 30 Mar 2008

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

guavashake wrote:
ATM SPIDERTAO wrote:

The problem is, Korean are more inclined to see someone as a sexual trophy instead of a long-term committed girlfriend.


There were 35,098 marriages between foreigners and Koreans in 2010.

http://next.upi.com/archive/2012/03/07/Korean-traditions-challenged-as-mixed-marriages-soar/6361331162839/


I'm sure the vast majority of marriages are between expat women and Korean men, as females tend to stick around for the long haul, and have the numbers and patriarchal culture going for them. In my last two university language classes (levels 5 and 6) I was the only guy out of about 15 students. Lots of short-term expat guys, long-term expat females. They were from all over too, primarily Asian but also white girls (European and American). Not one single bloody other dude, this was at two different universities too.

Also, despite the extant male chauvinism in Korea, women from certain countries still have a better chance to "make it good" in Korea than in say China or Japan.
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PatrickGHBusan



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Location: Busan (1997-2008) Canada 2008 -

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

byrddogs wrote:
Ginormousaurus wrote:
World Traveler wrote:
Gender imbalance. Eight women for every ten guys. They take what they can get. What else can they do (short of importing brides from third world countries)?

Quote:
In 1990, South Korea was experiencing a gender imbalance almost as high as China’s today and the highest in the world at the time.


The thread is about dating being harder for expat women. Why do you insist on making it about the plight of Korean men dating Korean women?


Because that is what he does. How many times do we need to be reminded about the gender imbalance and declining birth rate? Rolling Eyes


Many more times it seems!
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World Traveler



Joined: 29 May 2009

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nate1983 wrote:
In my last two university language classes (levels 5 and 6) I was the only guy out of about 15 students.

Which SKY 어학당 did you attend? Did you say Yonsei? Their language program is freakin' tough (and actually any university program is). Congratulations on making it through levels 5 and 6. Few whities do. (Actually, few make it past the first two levels.)
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oatmeal



Joined: 26 Nov 2013

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

happiness wrote:
Im a guy, and Ive lived in Asia for quite a while. I wont make a blanket statement, but what I feel about quite a few Western women Ive met here is theyve lost some of their feminine qualities, having to be strong in these trying time.

Whats bad for Western chicks here is there is a different paradigm to compare to: Korea women. Theyre not the same, Would you eat only pizza every day? Well say you do, and then suddenly, theres spaghetti. Would you not want to try it? Or even if you eat cheese pizza everyday, and then suddenly, theres bulgogi pizza...its different and may or may not be a better value, more fun.

I have no problem with Western ladies if they have attractive qualities to me. As a guy, I just dont find alot of tattoed up, full-on attitude, boyish western ladies my thing, but of course, not everyone is like that, obviously... YMMV


I know exactly what you mean. It's been in my experience that of most expat women I've met in Korea are somewhat disproportionately representative of a "type" of western girl that predominates here and those are the type of women you described. I don't want to offend anyone so please don't get sensitive, but I want to merely state facts from my observations and I'm sure there are legitimate reasons behind this. Most of the expat females that I have come across are somewhat 'obese' and as you mentioned, have 'harder' personalities (meaning, the innocence and sweetness that comes with femininity seems to have been lost). I'm sure there are a number of factors behind it and life often does that to us all anyways. But personally, I think it's still a lot harder for expat women to date. Expat women for the most part do not fit korean society's idea of beauty and femininity. Sure, lots of korean men out there are interested in exotic western women (to them they are "exotic" lol), but i don't think most expat women want to date those korean men either. Most expat women would be interested in those dreamy Kdrama/Kpop korean type guys, and not your average korean man, they are very picky. It's very rare to find say a 30 something really physically attractive expat girl who is single and unmarried. If they are really attractive and "hot", they are most likely the 19-24 year olds who have just come to korea for 1 year out of college or high school for work. Once again, no offense, this is simple biology in life. The reality is, women have a biological clock that is more detrimental than men do. A lot of men want the kind of girl who has the looks and personality of one who is 18-28ish, sweet and naive. Once you go over 30, their biological clock is ticking and the "bloom" is quickly fading. It's no secret that women by this time in their lives if still unmarried and unsuccessfully in a committed relationship, are becoming "harder" (jaded, more defensive, walls being built up, etc.) and carry a sort of cynicism (for everything wrong that the world and past boyfriends have done to them, etc to leave them still unmarried and single). I really do believe that it is harder for expat woman to date than men. Expat men have a much broader and wider biological clock window, and not only that, many women find an older man to be something of bonus (because he's possibility wealthier, wiser, more capable and ready to take care of her and settle down etc).

I personally believe one can date and find true love at any age, any place and time......but the fact remains, biological clocks are inescapable and it changes you whether you like it or not.
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Engrish Mufffin



Joined: 09 Jun 2013

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 6:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's be honest, the reason it's harder for expat women to date are because they are "plump" and Korean guys aren't into that. Not to mention pretty white women are very hard to come by.

If you're a gyopo "expat" then it's pretty easy.
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Paddycakes



Joined: 05 May 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 6:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll just defer to the all mighty Roosh

http://www.rooshv.com
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nate1983



Joined: 30 Mar 2008

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 2:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

World Traveler wrote:
nate1983 wrote:
In my last two university language classes (levels 5 and 6) I was the only guy out of about 15 students.

Which SKY 어학당 did you attend? Did you say Yonsei? Their language program is freakin' tough (and actually any university program is). Congratulations on making it through levels 5 and 6. Few whities do. (Actually, few make it past the first two levels.)


I did levels 5 and 6 at SNU, and then did level 5 at Ewha (the only school whose term fit my schedule then - placed into level 6, but they were starting a new format and all the other level 6 students had been together for level 5 so after one day I changed down to 5). I had one gyopo, one Chinese, and one Mongolian guy in level 5 at SNU, but all girls the next two terms.

Yonsei level 5 is probably on par with or harder than level 6 at other schools, based on what I've heard and also having used their book for self study.
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Old Painless



Joined: 01 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Engrish Muffin, you have not seen "plump" until you've set foot on a U.S. Army base and have been repeatedly assaulted by sight of the ugliest of the whales that accompany these little guys 5'9" and skinny as a bean pole. The women they're married to have tattoos all over their "plump" bodies. It's disgusting. So don't complain to Old Painless about "plump teachers" because Old painless has seen even the ugliest, overweight, "plump" women treated like queens on the nile by soldiers. Oh, the nightmares.
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PatrickBateman



Joined: 08 Jun 2009
Location: American Gardens Building, West 81st Street

PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 2:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

dairyairy wrote:
Expat women who make no effort at all with their appearances still get plenty of attention from Korean and expat men. That includes older women, fat women, and women with what could be called disgusting manners. We could blame it on the women but there are always some dudes who go for them no matter how they look or how they act. So why blame the women when it's dudes that still reward them for not caring?




^^^^^^^^^^^
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chungbukdo



Joined: 22 Aug 2010

PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 2:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

nate1983 wrote:
guavashake wrote:
ATM SPIDERTAO wrote:

The problem is, Korean are more inclined to see someone as a sexual trophy instead of a long-term committed girlfriend.


There were 35,098 marriages between foreigners and Koreans in 2010.

http://next.upi.com/archive/2012/03/07/Korean-traditions-challenged-as-mixed-marriages-soar/6361331162839/


I'm sure the vast majority of marriages are between expat women and Korean men, as females tend to stick around for the long haul, and have the numbers and patriarchal culture going for them. In my last two university language classes (levels 5 and 6) I was the only guy out of about 15 students. Lots of short-term expat guys, long-term expat females. They were from all over too, primarily Asian but also white girls (European and American). Not one single bloody other dude, this was at two different universities too.

Also, despite the extant male chauvinism in Korea, women from certain countries still have a better chance to "make it good" in Korea than in say China or Japan.


I took a Korean language placement test in Chungbuk province, and I was the only male in a hall of about 85-90 people.

Nearly all of the women were fiancees or brides, a couple of my classmates were Chinese girls who were the daughters of a Chinese woman who married a Korean man. I'm not completely white, but there were two white people there. One who was clearly as Uzbek, and a stunning Russian looking woman whose Korean husband refused to leave her side during the test.
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AfroBurrito



Joined: 19 Dec 2013

PostPosted: Wed Jan 15, 2014 5:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"A real woman is all guts and ass." --Charles Bukowski

I don't often seek pointed wisdom from a certifiable misogynist, but given the bent of most of these posts, I'm sure the words will find themselves right at home.

Fat chicks can always lose weight; but being superficial is far less easy to remedy.

I have never had trouble dating here. And I am not white, not skinny, and not the docile, submissive, timid little wallflower so many men on this forum seem to want. This isn't the 1950's.

I have not had a very high standard. If a man cannot hold an intelligent conversation, exhibit some degree of intellectual complexity, or make you laugh, what's the point? Even if he looks like a Greek god, being boring won't make up for that.

To the point of the thread, I'm engaged to be married to a Korean. And he's rather fond of my big a$$.
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