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2 Months in and Stressed out
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 3:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

maximmm wrote:
Bah - you have erred in a major way.


Well, I learn from other people's mistakes, rather than making mistakes myself.

But yeah, you let the dog off the leash, bad things happen.
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chill.sung99



Joined: 20 May 2014

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

KimchiNinja wrote:
maximmm wrote:
During my first year in Korea, I was told by my co-teacher that in Korea people do not question or complain about their superior's orders. They just do what they are told, and they question/complain only after the deed is done. She also told me to do the same.


Yep, that's how it works here.

Here's another one of my fun office stories (not teaching profession). We had some American Harvard chick come manage operations. She told all the Koreans their opinion mattered, that they should question things, and to speak up in meetings.

IT WAS A FLAT OUT DISASTER AND WE HAD TO FIRE EVERYONE.

What happened? The young inexperienced office girls gave their foolish opinions about everything. They questioned management, showed disrespect to management and to men, and wouldn't do their job. They got cocky and claimed they were being discriminated against because they were women (nope, their ideas just sucked). All the same garbage that happens in the USA. We had to admit that these employes were all rotten now, ruined (due to this Harvard chick's dumb idea), and we had to fire almost all of them.

We fired Harvard chick too.

Welcome to Korea. These people are animals, one must rule with an iron fist. Korea functions only because these people are kept in line. Do not naively think there is not a reason for the way things are...


haha. great story. Perhaps explains Korean gun control laws. Imagine if these animals were running around with guns, drunk on soju. It would be 10 times worse than America, no? Every argument would end in a gun shot
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chill.sung99 wrote:
Every argument would end in a gun shot


Perhaps!!

To tie it back into the original post. If the manager listens to this newbie's ideas, explains managements decisions, what stops all the Koreans from sharing their dumb ideas too and demanding explanations? I suggest the manager knows Korea, and knows this must be kept in check.
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Underwaterbob



Joined: 08 Jan 2005
Location: In Cognito

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chill.sung99 wrote:
Imagine if these animals were running around with guns, drunk on soju. It would be 10 times worse than America, no?


So, ten school shootings a week instead of just one?

Rolling Eyes
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KimchiNinja



Joined: 01 May 2012
Location: Gangnam

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Underwaterbob wrote:

So, ten school shootings a week instead of just one?

Rolling Eyes


Yeah you're right, that guy's math was wrong.

Likely shootings would accelerate to a value between current KR rate and US rate. No particular reason to assume a rate > than US. Of course all this tells us is that Koreans are smart; don't allow guns, done.
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Milwaukiedave



Joined: 02 Oct 2004
Location: Bucheon

PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well this thread seems to have already gone off the rails. Some have offered decent advise.

To the op, you pretty much have to let go as others have said and do what you are told.

I admit when I first came here I was baffled by the way things are done and sometimes I still shake my head and smile. People who met me back then probably said I wouldn't last six months. I've been here 10 1/2 years. It is possible to adapt.

Get out and meet people and develop relationships outside work

Learn Korean

Improve your skills so you can get a better job

Good luck!
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beentheredonethat777



Joined: 27 Jul 2013
Location: AsiaHaven

PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Milwaukiedave wrote:
Well this thread seems to have already gone off the rails. Some have offered decent advise.

To the op, you pretty much have to let go as others have said and do what you are told.

I admit when I first came here I was baffled by the way things are done and sometimes I still shake my head and smile. People who met me back then probably said I wouldn't last six months. I've been here 10 1/2 years. It is possible to adapt.

Get out and meet people and develop relationships outside work

Learn Korean

Improve your skills so you can get a better job

Good luck!


Great Response!WOW!10 1/2 years? What is your country of origin?
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Sukisho



Joined: 02 Mar 2014
Location: Suwon

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought I would give a mini-update since it has been about a month since I posted. I took some of the good advice from this thread. I stuck with it, but stopped caring why I had to do X thing even though i thought it was total BS. I also stopped doing as much prep work for my classes, the kids don't care, and really my boss didn't either, so why spend all that effort on it. Really this last month has been great and I am really happy that I came. Sure it was a rough start, but now that we are in the groove, it is smooth sailing.

To all the 'haters' that told me I should quit, make a "midnight run", or never have come: You only gave me more power to stay, and I feel sorry for you. You can't even have the decency to give good helpful advice to someone who worked hard, and wanted to make it work. Don't pretend you came here and everything was super easy for you. I am sorry that you have to try to beat others down to make yourself feel better.
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radcon



Joined: 23 May 2011

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sukisho wrote:


To all the 'haters' that told me I should quit, make a "midnight run", or never have come: You only gave me more power to stay, and I feel sorry for you. You can't even have the decency to give good helpful advice to someone who worked hard, and wanted to make it work. Don't pretend you came here and everything was super easy for you. I am sorry that you have to try to beat others down to make yourself feel better.


Quite a stretch there.
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candy bar



Joined: 03 Dec 2012

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sukisho wrote:
I thought I would give a mini-update since it has been about a month since I posted. I took some of the good advice from this thread. I stuck with it, but stopped caring why I had to do X thing even though i thought it was total BS. I also stopped doing as much prep work for my classes, the kids don't care, and really my boss didn't either, so why spend all that effort on it. Really this last month has been great and I am really happy that I came. Sure it was a rough start, but now that we are in the groove, it is smooth sailing.

To all the 'haters' that told me I should quit, make a "midnight run", or never have come: You only gave me more power to stay, and I feel sorry for you. You can't even have the decency to give good helpful advice to someone who worked hard, and wanted to make it work. Don't pretend you came here and everything was super easy for you. I am sorry that you have to try to beat others down to make yourself feel better.


Seems now you moved your issues onto a new group. 'haters' Pot calling kettle black.
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Kepler



Joined: 24 Sep 2007

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

candy bar wrote:

Seems now you moved your issues onto a new group.

Seriously. The OP seems to suffer from some kind of persecution complex. First, it was the unsympathetic Korean teachers who told her "Calm down, you have class" when s/he broke down crying. Now the "haters" who told the OP that s/he might be better off leaving Korea are the persecutors.
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beentheredonethat777



Joined: 27 Jul 2013
Location: AsiaHaven

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 3:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To all the 'haters' that told me I should quit, make a "midnight run", or never have come: You only gave me more power to stay, and I feel sorry for you. You can't even have the decency to give good helpful advice to someone who worked hard, and wanted to make it work. Don't pretend you came here and everything was super easy for you. I am sorry that you have to try to beat others down to make yourself feel better.[/quote]

^^.???
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This has got to be one of the most revealing post I have ever read on this forum. I honestly believe that this individual has a bumpy road ahead. The update was proper, but the lashing out at individuals who were actually giving realistic advice, was borderline distasteful.

Based upon the OP presentation, the lack of evidence/ "whining" that was presented,it appeared that Korea wasn't a good fit.
It wasn't meant as a personal attack,it is just a common fact that many of the people who have mentioned the same challenges that the OP was having, decided that Korea wasn't for them and cut the losses early.
Those of us who have been here for several years,have witnessed this scenario over and over again.

I went through and re-read every post. I did not see any evidence of anyone pretending that "everything was super easy" for them when they arrived. I also did not see recognize a "beat downs" in the comments. I did, however, read where someone who has been here for 10+ years is "still baffled at the way things are done."
This was another fun read. Who has the time to "hate on" someone they don't even know and will probably never meet? That just was hilarious.
Quote:

Thanks for the update. Glad "the haters" motivated you to stop questioning everything and to just work together and go with the flow. Stumped.
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Usurname



Joined: 21 Oct 2011

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 5:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

arod204 wrote:
It could be much much worse. I came into a hagwon that had 2.5 months of marking built up for the entire school, a filthy apartment, no syllabus or plan (they knew where I was supposed to be in each unit but never shared it with me for some reason), had to come up with 2100 english definitions, and my paycheck after 50 days was a little over 1.5 million won after their god damn deductions, and was written up because a student said my class was boring.

Suck it up.


What were the reductions for?
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Stain



Joined: 08 Jan 2014

PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2014 6:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

chill.sung99 wrote:
KimchiNinja wrote:
maximmm wrote:
During my first year in Korea, I was told by my co-teacher that in Korea people do not question or complain about their superior's orders. They just do what they are told, and they question/complain only after the deed is done. She also told me to do the same.


Yep, that's how it works here.

Here's another one of my fun office stories (not teaching profession). We had some American Harvard chick come manage operations. She told all the Koreans their opinion mattered, that they should question things, and to speak up in meetings.

IT WAS A FLAT OUT DISASTER AND WE HAD TO FIRE EVERYONE.

What happened? The young inexperienced office girls gave their foolish opinions about everything. They questioned management, showed disrespect to management and to men, and wouldn't do their job. They got cocky and claimed they were being discriminated against because they were women (nope, their ideas just sucked). All the same garbage that happens in the USA. We had to admit that these employes were all rotten now, ruined (due to this Harvard chick's dumb idea), and we had to fire almost all of them.

We fired Harvard chick too.

Welcome to Korea. These people are animals, one must rule with an iron fist. Korea functions only because these people are kept in line. Do not naively think there is not a reason for the way things are...


haha. great story. Perhaps explains Korean gun control laws. Imagine if these animals were running around with guns, drunk on soju. It would be 10 times worse than America, no? Every argument would end in a gun shot


An ok story, not great. I don't know. I'm just not into fantasy. I mean Lord of the Rings was ok, but I have to draw the line somewhere.
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Weigookin74



Joined: 26 Oct 2009

PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sukisho wrote:
nicwr2002 wrote:

Also to add, Koreans don't question anything at work. If they are told to do something by the owner, they just do it. So, if you were to complain or continuing asking, "Why do we have to do this?" The coworkers won't and can't understand that attitude and will feel like you are just complaining. They are thinking the same thing as you, but they won't voice it except at an after work drinking get together.


This is something I learned yesterday, when I was talking to a coworker and my director (not the manager) and it was admittedly a little shocking. I am used to understanding the reasoning behind the way something is done (I come from a very science centered education) and to just do odd or illogical requsts without questioning is very foreign to me. Looking back, a couple issues have come from trying to understand the reasoning, and I think it will help me move forward if I just stop asking, and do it. (As much as it pains me to.)

raewon wrote:
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.

In my opinion, if you stay positive about things and are willing to be open and embrace Korean culture (the good, the bad, and the ugly) - you can do it.

The stress at work is not going to go away. It may get better, it may get worse - but rest assured - it will always be there. You said that you are used to the American way of doing things. To what degree do you express that at work? Think carefully about what you do/say and how you react to everything that is thrown at you at the last minute.

Get used to the way things are done here as fast as possible. I'm not saying the way things are done is necessary the right way, but unless you accept things, you are virtually setting yourself up for conflict each and every time - and that will only make things worse for you.

As soon as you are feeling better (hopefully next Monday), buy a snack your staff likes, something that can be shared easily, or some cold drinks. Apologize for your outburst, blame it on your miserable condition, and let them know it won't happen again. And make sure it doesn't. Thank everyone for being understanding. And no, I'm not blaming you for your situation. Just try to create a light/friendly atmosphere for starting over. If that is in fact what you wish to do.

As to directly address your question, that is easier. Make the best of your time outside of work. Get involved in whatever is you enjoy doing and that makes you happy. Make plans to do things you will look forward to.

Good luck to you.


Thanks so much for the advice! I am going to try to be more flexible about the things that my co-teachers and manager do, especially the things changing last minute. Also, I think the snack/cool drink idea is great and plan to make use of it on Monday. Thanks for the encouragement. I don't want to give up and go home, because I love it here so much. It was nice to have a helpful comment and not just people telling me I was going to be fired, or should go home.



just do odd or illogical requsts without questioning is very foreign to me Ha ha. Welcome to the land of strange. Half the time, things here don't make sense. Just keep your head down, nod, and proceed to get paid. If your boss wants ideas, give him none. Teach the kiddies, pay off your debts, then do whatever outside of work.

Frieking out crying and arguing with co workers in an everyone must be part of the group culture, you're boss prob is looking for someone else.

As for what I previously said, check your common sense at Incheon Airport. You can pick it back up on the way out.
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