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Anyone Married To a Korean? Citizenship Question
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Derrek



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2003 6:59 am    Post subject: Sorry Reply with quote

Sorry to hear about it, Wall. Hopefully, she's just being a woman (or a human?) and on a temporary freak-out spell. My problem is I don't handle those sorts of things with much patience -- therefore, am still single. Trying to work on that though!

Hey, my Mongolian friend asked if I would marry her in 2 or 3 years so she could get American citizenship! No joke!
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The Great Wall of Whiner



Joined: 24 Jan 2003
Location: Middle Land

PostPosted: Thu Apr 10, 2003 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There have been so many responses, I just messed them into one big Borg collective.

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she only loses her korean citizenship if she chooses to give it up to emigrate to another country.

Which she will never do. Which means if I chose to be with her, it's Korea all the way.

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the simple act of marrying a non-korean doesn't mean anything in terms of citizenship for korean men or women. they can be married to a foreigner and still maintain citizenship for as long as they want to.

I take comfort in that.

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the reality is that a lot of korean women who marry foreign men do give up their citizenship....but it's their choice. most do it to gain citizenship from their husband's country.

I know. But my GF wants to stay Korean.

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run with the quality of life angle. worked for me. there's no question that the quality of life in the US or Canada is far better than in Corea...convince her that she'll be happier living in Canada.

She knows...but she won't throw away her blood she said.

Ah well...if we break up over this, she'll regret it if/when there is ever a war on the penninsula.
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Quote:
tell her that you'll stay in korea for a few (3-4) years after you get married, and then you'll move back to canada for good. i thought my spouse wouldn't give up citizenship either, but 1 month of traveling around the states cured that. i promised to stay in korea for 3 years after we got married, and that compromise worked. i'm serving that 3-year sentence now.

Hehe..clang ...on go the handcuffs...

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whatever you do, don't tell her you'll stay here long-term. you'll regret that decision. at least if you value your sanity.

As long as I can be with her...I dont care where we are...

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GWoW, you are canadian right?

Right.
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well she can get landed immigrant status if/when you move to Canada. She won't be a citizen of canada but will effectively have a permanent visa/residency.

I know. I was married to a Japanese girl. Now divorced. She does not want to go back to Canada with me. She wants to stay in Korea.

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...and pay around $1500-2000 for the pleasure.

No crap! It was $2000+ when we did it 6 years ago!

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hey Whiner welcome to the real world, it da BIG pain innit , friend ?

Yes. Big pain.

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1) Can she survive outside a korean environment ( community/ language/ food/ 'culture') for ever , and if not , how can you resolve living in Korea REALLY long term .

No, she cannot.

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2) Can you teach english in korea all your life ? if you can good luck to you . And if she can be happy eslewhere good luck to , but from what you've said, with all due respect to her, she 's sounds pretty high up on the ethnocentric league ( ie on the passport issue you stated for instance).

I can for her. I love her. but, I am starting to doubt her love.

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I'm sorry, Great Wall. That's a s***ty thing to have an argument over. Not that I mean it's not a valid issue, but...

...well, hopefully she's not fishing for a reason to let you go, or something.

That is what I was thinking about....

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There is an issue about children, though. I don't know if the laws have changed recently, but in the past, children born to foreign men do not have Korean status even though they were born here and their mother is Korean. this may have changed though as foreign male status has changed in the recent past (ie being able to have an F2)

We won't have kids from what she says). Plus, I think I have propagated upon this Earth too many times already....

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allz i know about this is you better build a strong bond between the two of you because the chips are stacked against you.

Yes, and the chips are heavier than heck!

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When I married her, I knew it would be difficult to get her away from Korea...

So how did you convince her?

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And hey, Great Wall...I'm sure your arguement is not a great prophecy of doom like some posters might tend to think.

but it certainly seems that way... Crying or Very sad

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Sorry to hear about it, Wall. Hopefully, she's just being a woman (or a human?) and on a temporary freak-out spell. My problem is I don't handle those sorts of things with much patience -- therefore, am still single. Trying to work on that though!

Derrek man, I just don't know what is going on in her head. If I could only read minds....(yeah but my luck, it would all be in Korean) Laughing

Quote:
Hey, my Mongolian friend asked if I would marry her in 2 or 3 years so she could get American citizenship! No joke!


Is that the one we met at Polly's? She was cute... Wink
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Zyzyfer



Joined: 29 Jan 2003
Location: who, what, where, when, why, how?

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 12:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Great Wall of Whiner wrote:
She knows...but she won't throw away her blood she said.


Duh. Relationships are about compromise. On both ends.

My girl tried to have a discussion with me about the USA/Iraq stuff last night. As I've said before on here, I really don't find it worthwhile to discuss it, the reason being that I've simply heard too many viable opinions from too many people to believe any single one.

We ended up getting into a discussion about how she feels that America is making a big mistake here, and I pointed out about the only sentiment I have garnered during this time: that America is damned, no matter what it does.

In the end, she realized that I'm not getting pushed over to magically agree just because she's my girl. I'm the kind of person who doesn't really care about the result with a lot of stuff, but there are a certain few things which will get my blood boiling. Attacking America(despite me being severely anti-patriotic) is one of them. I've simply travelled too much as a quiet American, and had to endure listening to the endless comments against it.

Anyways, point is, you need her to understand that love is a compromise, and if she isn't willing to compromise, it can't work in the end. My girlfriend's had the same problem once or twice, and I always laugh to myself when she talks about her (insert relative here) telling her that pretty much everything in life is about sacrificing less important things to attain what you desire.

All this talk about losing blood totally defeats the purpose of what I feel marriage stands for.
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kimcheeking
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good call zyzyfer. Marriage and any successful relationship (gf/bf or friends) is about compromise & trust. Without those your relationship is doomed.
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The Man known as The Man



Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kimcheeking wrote:
Good call zyzyfer. Marriage and any successful relationship (gf/bf or friends) is about compromise & trust. Without those your relationship is doomed.



On the bright side, if you were in Canada, you would see Don Cherry himself in the Molson Canadian ads as they have BEER cans, the bubba BEER cans with Don Cherry suits.


Great Wall of Weiner, your girlfireind hasn't lived until she's seen that!


ps buddy Gary was in Korea a few years ago came back with a wife 12 years younger.

At least you don't have Green Card W---- issues to solve.



regards,


Christopher
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The Great Wall of Whiner



Joined: 24 Jan 2003
Location: Middle Land

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 8:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Man known as The Man wrote:
kimcheeking wrote:
Good call zyzyfer. Marriage and any successful relationship (gf/bf or friends) is about compromise & trust. Without those your relationship is doomed.



On the bright side, if you were in Canada, you would see Don Cherry himself in the Molson Canadian ads as they have BEER cans, the bubba BEER cans with Don Cherry suits.


Great Wall of Weiner, your girlfireind hasn't lived until she's seen that!


ps buddy Gary was in Korea a few years ago came back with a wife 12 years younger.

At least you don't have Green Card W---- issues to solve.



regards,


Christopher


Well, we talked about it last night. (God know I had the time....., car broke down, hence no vacation Rolling Eyes )

We talked about her desire to wait until she gets married for "you-know-what", and the fact that she doesn't want to get married for 6 years or so.

Hmm....6 years...have to seriously think about that one...

Mind you, it could all be a test. My friend experienced a similar conversation with his GF, and they ended up consumating their relarionship.

But the heart of the issue is this:

What if I wait 4-5 years, then she decides she doesn't want to be with me anymore?

That would devastate me...

But do I really want to wait so long...

Hmm...like I said earlier, I just to read her mind...
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The Man known as The Man



Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 8:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JUst play it casual for the time being, and don't even discuss the 6 years waiting if at all possible. I can see ultimatums coming to the fore sooner rather than later.


ps I went to bed last night at 11pm, right when the Canucks game was starting. That was a good call.
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Trinny



Joined: 01 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 12:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Whining wall,

I have a feeling that once your girl friend goes outside of Korea and experience a new culture, she may change her mind about 'staying Korean.' She can come to Canada on 6-month tourist visa, and test the water to see if the Canadian lifestyle works out for her.

I was a typical Korean who never traveled out of Korea 2 and a half years ago. The first year of settling in Canada was pretty tough, but I rode it out and made Canada my second home. There are a lot of things to do here, if you look around. I got tremendous pleasure doing gardening in summer and skiing to downtown and curling in a local rink in winter.

Canadians are very charming and wonderful people. For 2 and a half years of living in Canada, I never encountered any racist slur. None whatsoever. Many of the Canadians and other groups of Immigrants got out of their way to help with my transition from Korea to Canada, once they make friends with me. Actually it is from the Korean community in Canada I got rather unpleasant comments about my appearance or being married to a Canadian. (This is off topic though; a lot of Koreans I met here say I don't have the right and perfect facial balance that most Koreans have. They claim I have too large forehead and sunken eyes and my skin complexion is too dark for a Korean, which make me look like a Southeast Asian. Go figure!).

Let's go back to the topic. Last week, I went to Egyptian community night and had a blast. It is a learning experience to share idea with people from different cultures, which I would never do in Korea. Living in Canada does help me expand my horizon. People change and so will your girl friend. Life is too short to stay Korean for the whole life.
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richinkorea



Joined: 22 Jan 2003
Location: Gawd Darn Hot and Sunny Arizona !

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 1:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm confused.

No sex ?


Rolling Eyes

And you are talking about marriage 6 years away ? With no sex ?

Dude, open your eyes Exclamation
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The Great Wall of Whiner



Joined: 24 Jan 2003
Location: Middle Land

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 1:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trinny wrote:

Quote:
I have a feeling that once your girl friend goes outside of Korea and experience a new culture, she may change her mind about 'staying Korean.' She can come to Canada on 6-month tourist visa, and test the water to see if the Canadian lifestyle works out for her.


She came to Canada last week to visit me. Nowshe's gone off to see a friend.....so she is starting to get to know a bit about Canada...which is funny, because when I used to tell her about things in Canada, she would say "No way. I don't believe you.". Now she is living all the "far-fetched stories" I told her...

Anyway, I hope you're right that "she will change".

If not...
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The Great Wall of Whiner



Joined: 24 Jan 2003
Location: Middle Land

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 1:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

richinkorea wrote:
I'm confused.

No sex ?


Rolling Eyes

And you are talking about marriage 6 years away ? With no sex ?

Dude, open your eyes Exclamation


Well, love is love man.

I can't say I won't try...but if she's not ready...I can't exactly force her...

The last couple nights talking to her on MSN, she has started to open herself up a bit more...so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. (all eleven of them)
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Derrek



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:12 pm    Post subject: Wall Reply with quote

She went to Canada? Wow...

Got word last month that my ex was denied a visa to Canada. Is that common?

I think I was being, "tested" a lot by my ex, and I failed because I had no patience. As we neared the three month mark, we had our first argument. I sort of broke it off, but considered it just a tiff. She got spooked, but we got back together for another week. She got spooked and started telling me stuff like how she never even considered marrying a foreigner, etc. Also, how she wasn't planning to marry for at least 3 years if she was to marry at all, would probably have to allow her sister to live with her forever, blah, blah, blah. I got over that hurdle, but then when we were making out later that next week, she stopped and told me she couldn't do that any more because she didn't love me. I got angry (was getting sick of the negativity, and felt like she was trying to break it off) so I sent her out the door. Totally gave her the wrong message. Then again, I think it was doomed anyway.

Women test test test. I hate it, and that's why I'm still single. When I truly love a girl, I have little patience because i just want it all to work. I sort of freak and don't wait it out well. But when I don't care much about the girl, I just ignore the tests and give her space (meaning that I don't give a rat's petunia). Then she seems to crawl back. Hence, the reason why I seem to attract girls who want me seriously, although I don't want them. And the girls I want don't want me.
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bellum99



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: don't need to know

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 2:52 pm    Post subject: korean girls are not easy Reply with quote

I have been in Korea for a long time and there are 2 kinds of girls. The easy girl everyone fu&*& and the marrying girls. The first is not a good person to think about marriage with because she already knows how to use you, and the second is scared of marriage with a Western guy. So, people be sure who you are asking to marry you or you will get back home and she will not be faithful or even nice, trust me.
Here is a test...if she wants sex within the first month, then she is probably not a good girl to marry and if you met her at a Western BAR ( they go there to find Western guys to marry).
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Captain Obvious 2.0



Joined: 09 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 4:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My girlfriend is nice. If only she was Japanese... Crying or Very sad
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Rand Al Thor



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Locked in an epic struggle

PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2003 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Captain Obvious 2.0 wrote:
My girlfriend is nice. If only she was Japanese... Crying or Very sad

and your point is?
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