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graduation blues

 
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crazylemongirl



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Location: almost there...

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2003 5:02 am    Post subject: graduation blues Reply with quote

Ok,

I've almost reached the three month mark, and I'm having my first prolonged 'I don't want to be in korea' sad spells. What I'm suprised about is that isn't general homesickness or that I hate it here but it's because next friday I offically become Crazy lemon girl BA (Hons). Unfourtnatley instead of me getting my 15 seconds of fame in the Auckland town hall, my degree will arrive at my folks place in a few weeks time.

I know its slightly irrational of me since a) I've already graduated once (just the BA sans Honours) and b) I've been to over 15 graduation ceremonies (I was on the council of my university and thus have lost count of how many ceremonies I've attended).

But the whole situation has got me really depressed, I really enjoy graduation (it's fun to dress up in the academic gear, walk down the middle of auckland's main drag, and then get drunk for free in the academic gear) but now I'm a few thousand kilometers from the fun...

The thing that bothers me is that if I'm like this over graduation, I'm going to be a real wreck come xmas/new years anyone got any tips for getting over missing events like this..


A depressed
Crying or Very sad CLG Crying or Very sad
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maxxx_power



Joined: 17 Mar 2003
Location: BWAHAHAHAHA! I'M FREE!!!!!!!

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2003 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't been in Korea long enough to miss anything really major. I remember when I was in the service and missed big events I would go out with friends and drink until I blacked out.

You drink to kill the demons inside you, and it's fun too.
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K-in-C



Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Location: Heading somewhere

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2003 5:54 am    Post subject: Sunshine wishes Reply with quote

crazylemongirl...

Drinking is not the answer when you're depressed. I'm sure you know this. Of course there is nothing wrong with tilting a few to give yourself a pat on the back for your accomplishments. I suggest you go out and buy yourself a real nice gift, go look at funny greeting cards, and send someone special a hello and a small gift.

Congrats on your HBA. Yahoo!!

Feeling groovey,

Kate in Canada (finishing my HBA)

Edited once to fix an error.
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half_pint



Joined: 16 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2003 7:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Crazy Lemon Girl,

I hear you, that's one thing about being away from home - you miss things like crazy that wouldn't be the biggest deal in the world if you were actually there. I don't think you're irrational for feeling a little down over missing your grad; it seems totally normal to me! It is my sister's 13th birthday today and she is really dissapointed that I can't go with her to get her bellybutton pierced, a small thing, but I'm kind of sad that I'm missing her birthday. I'm sorry I don't have much advice to offer, because I'm kind of homesick at the moment too . I can tell you that Kate is right about the drinking thing - if you are at all depressed, don't do it! It will only make things worse. I would try to get out and do something that you can't do at home; hopefully you can find something that will make you feel better about being here. And talking to friends from home usually makes me feel better; they always tell me that everything is the same and I'm not missing anything and I was smart to get away and do something exciting. Anyway, good luck, and I hope you feel better!!

And contratulations!!
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Butterfly



Joined: 02 Mar 2003
Location: Kuwait

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2003 9:03 pm    Post subject: Re: graduation blues Reply with quote

crazylemongirl wrote:
The thing that bothers me is that if I'm like this over graduation, I'm going to be a real wreck come xmas/new years anyone got any tips for getting over missing events like this..


A depressed
Crying or Very sad CLG Crying or Very sad


I think that because you have only been here three months, you seen an alien environment all around you and probably some difficulty getting used to the way Korean people carry and conduct themselves. You only have one or two friends here, and you're probably not sure (as nice as they are) that they are the kind of people you'd normally hang out with anyway be they Korean or western.

I think the thing to do is to find your groove as quickly as possible now that you've done your initial settling, and find your own types of people. Join clubs, health club, martial arts, expat associations (there's a post on this forum somewhere about that as well as someone else who wants to make new friends), hiking excursions, temple stays, and find some people outside your work whom you are more likely to find some chi with, whatever your bag is. Be active, and open your mind to everything and everyone.

I think its hard when people first come not only because of the alienation, but because suddenly, we are in a position where we don't have any (or many) friends. It's like that first day at university feeling. But some people approach this problem proudly and aggresively and pretend that there isn't a problem and this certainly manifests itself in the way that lonely foreigners ignore each other in the street when in truth they'd probably love to chat with each other.

Some people here are saying don't drink alcohol and I concur in part, inasmuch as I don't advise you sit at home with a bottle of gin, but if there is a chance to go out with some new people and have a drink why not?

Crazy girl, maybe its too late for your graduation to save you from depression on that day, but if you put yourself around, do lots of stuff, be bold and confident, by Christmas you won't even think about what's going on back home you'll be too busy here with your wonderful new life. You'll be fine, you'll see.
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FierceInvalid



Joined: 16 Mar 2003

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2003 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Know what you mean CLG, my father's 65th birthday is coming up next month and there's going to be all kinds of Fierce-less shamrocks and shenanigans.

I don't have much advice other than to keep yourself busy with other stuff, and just wait for a few more of these events to go by. After enough of them happen, it won't seem like such a big deal. Christmas is a breeze for me these days.
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richardIII



Joined: 03 Jun 2003
Location: Auckland NZ

PostPosted: Sun Jul 27, 2003 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done - you made it through the honours year - what in?

I've nearly done my time at the same degree at the same institution you did (sounds like prison eh?). Actually, it feels like prison sometimes. I've had to give my parents my passport to prevent me from fleeing the country.

On the bright side, I'm 3 months away from finishing .... if I can keep my lecturers from killing me over my unofficial extensions policy.

But yeah, congratulations.
My tips (based on a year overseas and almost a year in New Zealand's Mostly Armed Forces)

1) Don't drink.... by yourself. If there's a party going on, have a good time, do whatever you normally would.
2) Go for a run. Maybe it doesn't work for everyone, but I find there's a unique solace to be found in the combination of exhaustion, pain, and vast quantities of endorphins.
3) Don't try to keep up with life at home. Maybe it's just because my friends don't actually like me Wink but I found it was a lot easier to just focus on my real life, not my old life.
4) Indulge in blatant pandering to homesickness ... ocassionally. I made bleh 8am Monday morning classes my yay Vegimite on toast breakfast day, and it kept me from becoming a mess (well except for a double bereavement).
5) Laugh at foriegn cultures. I know it's good to assimilate and stuff, but sometimes you should just say "These [whatevers] are crazy" and stand in the middle of the sidewalk giggling.
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