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Anyone tried going back home and couldnt hack it??
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rush



Joined: 17 May 2003

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:39 am    Post subject: Anyone tried going back home and couldnt hack it?? Reply with quote

Im 32 now and back in Australia... my parents told me that it was now or
never in regards to staying at home as at my age if I left it any longer
I would be close to being unemployable... to be honest Im so caught between the lifestyle of ESL teaching which I enjoy so much versus the
chance of a career back here at home.... I know this topic has been discussed before but those that have gone back and tried to get back into
the "real world" so to speak what advice can you give???

thanks
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Tiger Beer



Joined: 07 Feb 2003
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm 33 and did it twice.

First time I went back and landed in NYC. Six months of annoying temp jobs.. hated that time period.. then fell into a great-paying great job.. but after two years doing that.. I got all restless and bored and came back to Korea.

Went back a second time to San Francisco.. went through a stream of more boring temp jobs and some great jobs.. but struggled alot that time period.. could have made it work.. but got all restless and bored again and came back to Korea after a year of half of trying to make that work. (Could have stuck it out more if I'd wanted to I suppose.. but preferred to be back here)..

I'd say anytime you decided to go back you can make it work. There is always something to fall into. As for me, I have no desire or plan to go back unless I'm admitted into some kind of further education program or something with specific skills. I'd highly recommend the same. Stay in Korea and teach or anywhere.. do what you want.. but make sure you know what you want to do when you go back.. then make it so that course of options happen.. for example.. plan to go directly right into the program or plan and make it happen.

But going back and just 'seeing whats up' with a 'hey how's it going.. what do you have to offer me' without any plan or anything.. you'll end up doing something kind of half-stupid and not what you want.. and it just won't work right..

Thats my take on it anyhow..


Last edited by Tiger Beer on Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:29 am; edited 1 time in total
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anae



Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: cowtown

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rush,

I don't know if this is what you are looking for, but - I brought my husband back to Canada two and a half years ago to try and get started on a permanent life. I loved teaching kindergarten in Korea, so I went back to school for two years and got my degree in early childhood education. My experience in Korea not only got me into a very competitive faculty, it got me my current job subbing for the local board. I was the only student in my department who got on as a sub. The rest of my classmates are unemployed or temporarily employed in remote areas.

It took me a few years of living in Korea to be able to decide what to do. I would have not been very employable without adding extra education or experience. As well, I lacked the contacts in Canada that most of my age mates had been able to make during those years I was gone. My second alternative to education might have been grad studies in public policy or some other faculty that promoted internships to get one's foot in the door.

Good luck to you. I know it causes some sleepless nights.
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Zed



Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Shakedown Street

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tiger Beer exclaimed:
Quote:
I got all wrestless and bored

Did it make you want to wrestle?
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BTM



Joined: 20 Jan 2003
Location: Back in the saddle.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anyone tried going back home and couldnt hack it??

Left Canada back in '89. Been back several times, and worked in Whistler for a few years since then, in chunks, which was fun, but temporary. It's not that I couldn't hack it, just that it wasn't nearly enough fun.

I love Canada, I just don't much wanna live there.
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Tiger Beer



Joined: 07 Feb 2003
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zed wrote:
Tiger Beer exclaimed:
Quote:
I got all wrestless and bored

Did it make you want to wrestle?

and I was restless too.. lol
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shawner88



Joined: 01 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 5:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

BTM wrote:

I love Canada, I just don't much wanna live there.



I feel the same way about the states. I went back there and it was beautiful, scenery-wise, but how many country rides and trips to the park can one take?

I remember hanging out with my friend in a coffee shop and playing scrabble thinking how boring my life was becoming again. He would tell me about some girl he was working on that had a kid from a previous marriage and was on anti-depressants. That was his only prospect. Ugh.
I tried to get him to give up his crap job and come back here with me, but he still thinks I'm out of my mind and this is just a passing phase, lol (3 years on).
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kangnam mafioso



Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Location: Teheranno

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 12:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Anyone tried going back home and couldnt hack it?? Reply with quote

rush wrote:
Im 32 now and back in Australia... my parents told me that it was now or
never in regards to staying at home as at my age if I left it any longer
I would be close to being unemployable... to be honest Im so caught between the lifestyle of ESL teaching which I enjoy so much versus the
chance of a career back here at home.... I know this topic has been discussed before but those that have gone back and tried to get back into
the "real world" so to speak what advice can you give???

thanks


i'm 30 and back home now in the states after two years in seoul. i'm hoping to stay in education so those years of experience don't go to waste. why don't you get certified to teach or get a masters in esl and then teach in australia and travel during summer or winter breaks?
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Dan



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: Sunny Glendale, CA

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 12:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

or get some plastic surgery and be an actor back in Korea
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Chonbuk



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Location: Vancouver

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 6:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have gone back twice for 6 months each time and worked as a recuiter. I didn't like it much, I hated the isolation of the winter in Canada, how it is so cold and difficult to meet people. I kept myself busy and active, went to many shows, and did a ton of arty things. It was so nice to spend time with my family but the general atmosphere just wasn't for me.
I'll be leaving Korea again in Feb but for Australia to go to school. I don't plan on staying in Aust, just getting the Master's finished and than returning to Asia (Not sure where yet, but probably not Korea)

I know several people who have returned, the ones that seem to do best at adapting are the ones who return to school. I would say go back to school and study something that you can see yourself doing as a career.

Going back to the western world with the hopes of finding a job, and picking up the pieces where you left off just doesn't seem to work. You have changed, your friends have changed, and society has changed you need to find your new place within it.

Also I have found it helpful to make friends with other people that are expats or have been expats. You may feel that these people understand you better than old friends.

Good luck-

and expect reverse culture shock- it does happen.

Chonbuk
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Yaya



Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

shawner88 wrote:
BTM wrote:

I love Canada, I just don't much wanna live there.



I feel the same way about the states. I went back there and it was beautiful, scenery-wise, but how many country rides and trips to the park can one take?

I remember hanging out with my friend in a coffee shop and playing scrabble thinking how boring my life was becoming again. He would tell me about some girl he was working on that had a kid from a previous marriage and was on anti-depressants. That was his only prospect. Ugh.
I tried to get him to give up his crap job and come back here with me, but he still thinks I'm out of my mind and this is just a passing phase, lol (3 years on).


Did you ever see your friend's prospect? It's funny but a LOT of American guys have given up on their fellow American women. The weight factor is one major reason, but the ease in which people get married here and divorce is mind-boggling. I know I'll get flamed for this but perhaps there is a little truth in the fear of some Koreans of marrying a foreigner for fear of divorce (though Korea's rate is growing, I know).

As for me, I reluctantly returned to the US at age 33 after nine years in Korea. I could've stayed and taught but I figured I had to make a major move as I was at a crucial crossroads in my life. As an East Coaster, I listened to a friend and made the move out to Southern California. I'm now in the real estate appraisal business and it's an interesting but stressful and tedious job. But the biggest thing you have to get used to again is the isolation and loneliness. Yeah, it's hard to meet people and in major US cities, there are a lot of shady characters you have to watch out for.

I envision a return to Asia, if not Korea. I'm thinking of an MBA in Singapore or Hong Kong since they are cheaper AND it's possible to get internships with companies in the region and such.
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Alvin Stardust



Joined: 12 Nov 2003

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 8:46 pm    Post subject: The big D Reply with quote

I think you'll find that the Korean divorce rate is one of the top 3 in the world. That is, the most divorces per year, and that doesn't include the 'family face-saving' permanent separations. Something like 40% plus of all Korean marriages end up in divorce. Worth checking up to date info on the web.

There's a reason why Korea is often way down the list of expats who have/or are working in Asia. Try working in Vietnam or Thailand, there are some very well paying jobs there, but you need to search around and do your homework. Korea sucks big time compared to them. Go on, try 'em. You'll NEVER go home!!!
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bucheon bum



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Location: DC area

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

if you enjoy teaching ESL so much, make your career. Get an advanced degree in it, if you haven't done so already.I think most people who are wishy washy don't have some affection for teaching, just like living overseas.

If your parents complain, remind them its your life. You also get pretty well paid in some parts of the world- including Korea.

So why stop teaching ESL if a) you enjoy it b) you have a comfortable lifestyle. Don't be pressured by what others want you to do, follow what YOU want to do.

And yes, Korea is #3 in divorce (USA and GB are the only countries ahead of it).
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Yaya



Joined: 25 Feb 2003
Location: Seoul

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 9:02 pm    Post subject: Re: The big D Reply with quote

Alvin Stardust wrote:
I think you'll find that the Korean divorce rate is one of the top 3 in the world. That is, the most divorces per year, and that doesn't include the 'family face-saving' permanent separations. Something like 40% plus of all Korean marriages end up in divorce. Worth checking up to date info on the web.

There's a reason why Korea is often way down the list of expats who have/or are working in Asia. Try working in Vietnam or Thailand, there are some very well paying jobs there, but you need to search around and do your homework. Korea sucks big time compared to them. Go on, try 'em. You'll NEVER go home!!!


There is no doubt that Korea's divorce rate is rising but the stats are a bit specious and distorted in that many couples in the West opt for cohabitation and the like, whereas more people get married in Korea and a stigma on cohabitation is still prevalent there. Marriage apparently is optional in the West but in Korea, it is a rite of passage into adulthood. Older and divorced singles still face substantial discrimination. Koreans are also not used to the divorce culture that is the norm in the West (meeting your ex-hubby's new wife or his kids, etc). In Western countries where there is little taboo on premarital sex and on living together single, people are more likely to get married later, when they are more stable emotionally and economically, and this may explain why some of the nations have lower divorce rates. And that is only counting the couples that even BOTHER to get married at all.

And say what you will about Korea (you're hardly the first who blasts Korea but I respect your right to) but I've met plenty of people who've been around Asia and prefer Korea. There are people who do well in Vietnam or Thailand but I've also heard negative stories about living in those two countries as well.
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rapier



Joined: 16 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2003 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The whole system sucks- that is , the pressure to settle into your "permanent life" by a certain age or become "unemployable". Both words are misnomers designed to force people onto the treadmill of society. I think I'll take my chances at doing whatever I want to in life, when I want to, than succumb to the whole life plan that the system has laid out for me. I only have one life, i'd rather make my own choices.

Choose Life!!
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