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make up and clothes
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ulsanchris



Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: take a wild guess

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 5:13 pm    Post subject: make up and clothes Reply with quote

This is something that kind of blow my mind when I first heard it. I had been going out with my girlfriend for a couple of months when she suddenly announces that I don't love her. Shocked Why? Because I don't buy her clothes or make up. Shocked Buying some clothes, I can see that, but make up? Never crossed my mind. I think if I did that to a western girl she might be insulted and say 'what do you think I am ulgy?' Has anyone else experienced something like this? How would you western girls feel if your boyfriend bought you make up.
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Trinny



Joined: 01 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it is odd.

How could one know what kind of make-up she needs? She is a big girl, right? She knows how to get what she wants. If she can't afford makeup and clothes, go get a job! Of course, I am very blunt.
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the_beaver



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trinny, that is by far the most disturbing avatar I have every seen.
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justagirl



Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Location: Cheonan/Portland

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could say that you don't know if you love her yet, so that's why you haven't bought her anything yet. After all, you've been together for just 2 months. (joking)

But this seems to be a game in Korea. Find a lovely girl and have a lovely time. Girl wants more than just THAT, so she asks for tangible things that will last longer than the relationship.

I would say this is fairly normal, but I'm not saying it's YOU, just so you know I'm not bashing, but rather explaining.

If you like the relationship for what it gives, and really don't plan to build to toward marriage, then just play the game. After all, you're only here for a year. Buy her things she wants and get what you want.

If you genuinely care about her and there is a possibility of a long-term relationship, then sit down with her and explain to her why you were confused. Of course you'll be confused a lot since the cultures are different. Let her know you want to work on your relationship and you care about her needs--both emotional and tangible. Tell her you'll try to meet both, but to please understand that love and relationship take a lot of work and it will require patience, communication, trust and willingness to work through the difficult times.

ps--
If my guy bought me makeup, I'd probably be disappointed, cause I'm very picky about what colors I like, but I'd LOVE the effort and thought that he'd buy me something.
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Trinny



Joined: 01 Feb 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr. Beaver

You've got to admit that she is a sweetheart!
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the_beaver



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trinny wrote:
Mr. Beaver

You've got to admit that she is a sweetheart!


No, I do not.
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kimcheeking
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

the_beaver wrote:
Trinny wrote:
Mr. Beaver

You've got to admit that she is a sweetheart!


No, I do not.

Beaver dislikes the idea of children, pregnancy, and procreation in general. When he sees a pregnant woman he turns his head in fear/disgust. apparently pregnancy and procreation are just wrong/unnatural.
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the_beaver



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kimcheeking wrote:
the_beaver wrote:
Trinny wrote:
Mr. Beaver

You've got to admit that she is a sweetheart!


No, I do not.

Beaver dislikes the idea of children, pregnancy, and procreation in general. When he sees a pregnant woman he turns his head in fear/disgust. apparently pregnancy and procreation are just wrong/unnatural.



Sex itself is cool (or so I've heard).

As for everything else -- the King knows me.
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ulsanchris



Joined: 19 Jun 2003
Location: take a wild guess

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:45 pm    Post subject: hmm Reply with quote

I failed to mention that this happened last year and that I am still with the same girl. She said that buying clothes and make up is something that korean guys do for their girlfriends. I told her that I wasn't Korean so she shouldn't expect that sort of thing.
My korean co-worker told me that her boyfriend buys her clothes and make up and is always concerned about her appearance. She says that he even comments if he feels that she doesn't wear enough make up.
By the way Trinny she did have a job and could afford to buy them herself.
What I was wondering if any other western guys had experienced this sort of thing. I also would like to know is how western girls would react if their boyfriends bought them make up.
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kimcheeking
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:54 pm    Post subject: Re: hmm Reply with quote

ulsanchris wrote:
She says that he even comments if he feels that she doesn't wear enough make up.


Personally I think women should wear as little make-up as possible. Too much just makes me want to vomit.
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Avram Iancu



Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Location: Changwon

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beaver,
your name speaks louder than your copulative actions (or lackthereof)! As for the average man, he would be clueless as to the dress size of his significant flame, never mind more specific items. As for the make-up, I don't really want to know what goes on behind 'the curtain' (to borrow an unfortunate 'Wizard of Oz' reference). Men might be able to recognize the brand name of the cosmetic in question, but this is where his bravado would flounder, because upon approaching one of the chemistry labs (read: cosmetic counters), he would be greeted by a vast array of choices with regard to "shade", and "tone", of which he has not the slightest clue. Do yourself a favor, and abscond with empty containers of the said chemicals which she has thrown in the trash. Upon re-entering a different lab, proudly thrust the item over to the white-coated-lab-technician, and say with confidence, "Doctor Frankenstein, I would like an exact match of this item, so my wonderful, adorable, sexy woman can have her 'face-on'"...while maintaining the right 'shade' and 'tone', of course...
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peppermint



Joined: 13 May 2003
Location: traversing the minefields of caddishness.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 7:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking from the other side,( a western girl dating a Korean guy) I would find it very odd indeed if he did buy me makeup and clothes for no aparent reason. Then again, I'm from North America where most men would rather do just about anything than shop for themselves, let alone anyone else. I have noticed that Korean men are much more willing to go shopping, though.

I'm uncomfortable with the shower of gifts that seems common in a Korean relationship. Gifts for birthdays, certain holidays are expected, and the occasional "I saw this and thought of you" type thing is very sweet. ( By the way, I do this for the guy too) Other than that, it's not necessary. If I wanted a sugar daddy I'd have one!

A tip for those who are expected to buy lots of gifts: perfume might be a safer bet than makeup. Just buy what you like, and tell her how great she smells. Much more sexy than makeup, and less initimidating. . .
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Bubbliee



Joined: 03 Jul 2003
Location: Kelowna, BC Canada

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would be super offended if my boyfriend bought me makeup. I would be thinking things like "am I really that ugly?" Yet another cultural difference. The other girls are right, perfume and lotion make much nicer and safer gifts. As to the clothes I would only buy them for her if I was with her at the time and knew that they fit her and she liked them.

Bubbliee
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chi-chi



Joined: 15 Jan 2003

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Both have been bought for me, clothes with and without me being there, makeup I have generally been there and seen it first. I generally don't mind it cuz my b/f has good taste. Now, if he had bad taste, of course that would be a different story. I don't see what the big deal is or why a girl would mind it.
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Tiger Beer



Joined: 07 Feb 2003
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Fri Jul 18, 2003 11:58 pm    Post subject: Re: make up and clothes Reply with quote

ulsanchris wrote:
This is something that kind of blow my mind when I first heard it. I had been going out with my girlfriend for a couple of months when she suddenly announces that I don't love her. Shocked Why? Because I don't buy her clothes or make up. Shocked


I hate that kind of stuff. Why do some girls do that? I've had similarly strange experiences as well. Suddenly they say 'you don't love me?' and give some absurd reasoning behind it.. whats up with that? There was a Filipina girl I was very involved with in California in the recent past.. and she'd come up with stuff like that.. and usually well.. get this.. it was actually all about breakfast! It took me awhile to figure it out.. but she was upset at me because many mornings she asked if she could cook me breakfast.. and I declined because I didn't want her to put herself out doing that as I'm quite okay with picking up bagels or egg mcmuffin on the go or whatever.. anyhow, she was hurt by that because she thought I didn't like her cooking.. and then.. well.. hmm.. actually that was a good experience.. but I found it strange because that all started with a sudden announcement that I don't love her anymore.. and then 10 minutes of trying to coax it out of her of what she was talking about..
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