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Parenting
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The Man known as The Man



Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Location: 3 cheers for Ted Haggard oh yeah!

PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 7:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

princess wrote:
I am proud to say I have NEVER seen my parents drunk. They don't touch a drop of the stuff. They are very good Cristian people. I, on the other hand, do have a few drinks sometimes. I think it is terrible for parents to take their kids in bars. I have seen it a few times here in Seoul. I DO NOT like seeing kids come in bars. I also hate seeing a married couple in a bar geting smashed while they tell me they have a three year old girl at home. AND...what about playboy bartenders who are married with a baby and they keep on bartending and keeping their playboy lifestyle? I say stay single. Why get married if you are just going to play around with all these women? MEN....please get your demons out of your system BEFORE you marry some poor, nice girl who will have to put up with you or divorce you. I see and hear sad stuff all the time in Korea. The married woman with a three year old at home was also hiding from her husband as he kept trying to call her and she would not answer her phone. Finally, he came in the bar about two hours later and joined her. Pathetic!!! The women here play games and fool around here, too, not just the men. These people should NOT be parents.


What is this the 1960's? Here's a hint, folks: Its alright for Christians to have a drop or two. Unless you're in a cult or you take a DUMBASS vow to be a meber in a prticualr church. Read your New Testament people what's the first miracle cited in The Good Book?

If you want to debate the historical method and inconsistencies, 3dognight is your man.


However, if you take your children to bars, you're a loser. I only saw my dad drunk once and that was at the cottage when I was 7 and it was a party for adults and I knew it but snuck out anyways.


Anyone who habitually does that or gets tanked at home in front of the kids has no business contributing to the gene pool, princess.


HTH
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dutchman



Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Location: My backyard

PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

makushi wrote:
Uh…as one of those parents who likes to imbibe from time to time…please allow me to retort.

I don’t see anything wrong with reading your kids a book, putting them in bed, and then cracking open a bottle.

Likewise, if for business or personal reasons, you occasionally meet outside for dinner and drinks and come home later after the kids are in bed, what’s the problem?

After my last adventure, I got home around 2:00AM was up at dawn, had breakfast, and then took the whole family to the jimjil-bang for three hours. Kids had a blast, wife was happy, and I recovered (sort of).

If you think being a good parent entails living as a teetotaler, and sheltering you kids from who and what you really are, I think you are living a lie.

That said, I don’t think it’s “cool” letting my kids see me drunk, and thus don’t let them. However, they know I drink. So what?

Also, whenever we go to the grandparent's house, I, along with the other men in the family, usually spend a few hours sitting around eating squid etc., talking, and oh yea...drinking soju.

If anything, our behavior is mild and I notice the men generally become more affectionate towards the kids.

Nobody is dancing on the table, fighting, or howling at the moon.

And lastly, as any parent knows, there are soooo many different issues and aspects to parenting. It’s pretty myopic to focus on just one thing to judge a person’s parenting.

In the current sterile PC world we are living in, too many times we tend to think being a good parent or citizen means hiding who we really are from ourselves and others. But most psychologists will agree.. that that is a recipe for disaster for both you and the ones you are trying to fool...in the end, we are only human, and the healthiest thing you can do for your kids is too teach them what that means...teach them to be comfortable with who they are and to be comfortable around others....IMHO


Again, I've got nothing against drinking. My wife and I drink in front of my son quite often. I think it's important for him to see examples of responsible moderate drinking. What I don't think kids need to see is binge drinking to the point of incoherent intoxication.

I don't mean to sound self-righteous but I do think there are some absolutes in this world. And by having kids you enter a whole new realm of absolutes. What was once perfectly normal and acceptable becomes wrong because it's detrimental to a child's development.

I'm not saying someone who regularly gets drunk in front of their kids should change their behavior by getting drunk elsewhere and thereby hide who they really are. I'm saying someone who gets drunk regularly in front of their kids should CHANGE who they really are and stop getting drunk.

I think we are probably on the same page Makushi. I just wanted to start a thread that was more interesting to me than some of the recent topics.
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makushi



Joined: 08 Jun 2003

PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dutchman wrote:
[I think we are probably on the same page Makushi. I just wanted to start a thread that was more interesting to me than some of the recent topics.


Agreed...and I just wanted to put out a slightly different view from the majority of the posts prior to mine....and yes, parenting is an incredibly interesting topic, one that I enjoy learning about, discussing, and most of all just doing...

These days, I am really getting a kick out of watching my boys speak Korean to their friends, and also help me with mine when I make my usual mistakes...not really parenting...more of a perk i guess...
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