Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

Evangeline · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 27 Location: China

Am I lonely ? I always ask myself this question.

The answer is YES ! Or else , how can I get so much time to think about such boring things!

First of all , I have to say that there are two parts in my high school life , which are called STUPID and PESSIMSTIC.

I wonder , might we be born again after our death?

If so , that would be wonderful and would mean that we won�t disappear but to lose all of our memory.

If not , that would be very very terrible!There would be nothing after our death , and we would disappear forever ! How long on earh is FOREVER? Is it one thousand years or one million years or even more? Of course not ! And none of us can imagine it.

I also wonder, even though our body weren�t be existence , would our soul be lonely by then ? No matter how strongly I reject death and loneliness, it always turns out that I can do nothing to make any difference.

I�m sure I�ve thought too many,and they�re over my limited capacity.It�s so dangerous a fact that I have been felling down for almost two months.I don�t want to be mad ! Is there anyone I could turn to for help？
_________________
More about Evangeline,please click here.

CP · Joined: 12 Jun 2006 Posts: 2875 Location: California

We are born alone and we die alone. We do not know what we will experience after death -- maybe nothing, maybe something, maybe good, maybe bad -- until we die.

We all will die, so we all will find out, no matter whether we want to or not. No matter whether we like it or not. If death is just a long dreamless sleep, we know nothing, and there is no unhappiness.

In the interim, we have this precious gift of life. If you spend it bemoaning that you are alone, unhappy, unloved, you waste it. Do you want to remain alone? If so, be happy! If not, do something to be with others. Don't expect too much, and be happy with anything more.

You are in high school, so some things will be stupid, some things pessimistic, no matter what you do. But make everything else good, fun, happy, optimistic. You will never be this young, this strong, this free again. Make the most of being a teenager!

If you don't like it, trade places with me.
_________________
You live a new life for every new language you speak. -Czech proverb

Evangeline · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 27 Location: China

On May 12th,2008,a great earthquake occurred in the area of Si Chuan Province,China.About 22,069 people lost their lives by 14 o'clock,May 16th.What's worse,it is estimated there will be up to 50,000 deaths in this natural disater!As many buildings broken down,a large number of people became homeless and they were lack of medicine.

How terrible!It reminded me of my previous meaningless thoughts.

There exists lots of scenes which are sure to make me cry.For example:
1.The vivaciously-opened flowers---no matter how beautiful and vivid they are,they will have to fall finally! Why do they come out?Waiting for falling?! Crying or Very sad

2.Happy daily life---however wonderful man leads his life,he will have to die at last. What on earth does man live for?Waiting for death?! Crying or Very sad

Even these optimistic scenes can really make me sad,not to speak of the pessimistic ones.

I believe I have come down with a serious mental disease.Not until I am brave enough to be realistic about the pbjective law will I be healed.
And I am now making efforts....

----------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for reading my struggle.The reason for long time no reply is that I have been searching for ways in which I can express myself clearly.However,I failed again and again.So my article still looks very very confused.I am terribly sorry to have caused all the trouble!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
In the end,let's pray for those who were and still are suffering from the earthquake!
And thanks for helping us Chinese!

Anuradha Chepur · Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 933

Motivational books, quotes, posters etc come in handy when a person is going through such a phase, and to help people break free from pessimism.

hoby · Joined: 04 Feb 2007 Posts: 9

just look at those victims in the earthquake.They had been deprived of the right to living on.Not even the rights of being longly or pessimistic.

You should appreciate it that you are still alive and can manage to be pessimistic.

Celebrating it that you survived!At this point of view why not be happy??
_________________
to think being like this was just a moment in time....

LeBron · Joined: 31 Oct 2007 Posts: 103

Hello Evangeline,

at first I really can understand you and the questions you're thinking about. These questions are not boring, but no matter for how long you'll think about you'll never find an answer, I believe.

Maybe the sense in our life is to give our life a sense. You know to realize what we really want and to give our best to follow our goals...

Greetings,
LeBron

Evangeline · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 27 Location: China

Well,all that you said above are quite reasonable.However,none of you exactly knows how my pessimism came into being step by step.

First,I am not getting well with my health.I can easily get serious illness while others not.

Then I was brought into a new class because of the classification of art and science. As time went by,I was shocked to find myself missing my old class since the new one was much too rude,cold and unfriendly.To them,my new classmates,I am an antigen!

After that came my best friend's death.We knew each other very well when we were young,and we grew up together.He was the only one that I could trust deeply. On hearing the hopeless news,I burst into tears and cried myself to sleep unconsciously.Believing that no one around me would ever become my real friend,I am now all alone with nothing but let my mind run wild.

I keep on thinking,worrying and hurting myself when these problems arise in my life,because I just can't help talking to myself and even trying to escape from the pain.

My stupid actions lead to a terrible result that I have bumped into an impass and can't go out,badly wounded...

However,I am still in favor of the idea that it's better to see the truth now,and accept it,than to fall into dread surprise on some day of weakness,and foolish to cry against fate.
_________________
More about Evangeline,please click here.

Anuradha Chepur · Joined: 20 May 2006 Posts: 933

Dear Evangeline,

Your English is good and you have presented your reasoning very well.
All of us here would be pleased to talk to you and hear your opinions on the other threads. There are lots of interesting topics discussed here.
So lets have fun talking on them.
I am sure you will make a lot of friends here.

Regards,
A-

LeBron · Joined: 31 Oct 2007 Posts: 103

There're some really sad things happened too you in your life. I'm sorry. I hope you'll find the force to get out of this crises. Maybe you can think a lil' bit more positively, even if it's hard to do so... Sad

Evangeline · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 27 Location: China

Thanks for understanding me.

Recently,I've become afraid of night,for night is empty,quiet and dark.All these signs set a background for my wild thoughts.

I am lonely,especially late at night. When the colourful lights in the streets go out,the whole world seems to stop revolving,only my mind begins to wander.

What has caused my wild thoughts? The fear of death and loneliness.And it is my greed that has led to the fear.

First of all,I have to admit that life is wonderful,though there are doubt,fear and anxiety in it. I appreciate the mysterious life. However,I will lose all my consciousness and everything will be zero to me forever the moment my death comes. How could I accept the reality? I wish to enjoy the beautiful life as long as I want.

But it's obviously impossible for me to put off the date of death. So I started trying to find the value of my existence. I have got nothing but an idea that doing something useful,such as being a doctor and helping people,gives me an identity. On my point of view, only in this way can I say that I didn't waste my lifetime and my existence is to save more people.(Ps:When I was young,I dreamt of being a doctor for no reason.)

Unfortunately,it looks as if my ideal is to be broken by my weak spirit and body,which doesn't reach the standard where a superior doctor should be.

Maybe I am supposed to stop thinking so much,but these thoughts strike to me automatically.

Maybe my thoughts is a process of rescuing myself from pessimism,or it may be a chronic suicide.I can't tell! Shocked

lotus23 · Joined: 03 May 2008 Posts: 10

Dear Evangeline:
The first thing I want to say is your strange ideas don�t mean you are stupid or something like that. Actually, I have the same question like yours. I always wonder if there would be a new life after death, and what it would it be. What�s more, I often think whether the existence of me is the result of several rebirths. Sometimes I usually think if I was some certain person in my last live and I would become anther different person in my next live. Just like what you said, we would not disappear, but just lose our memory and become the different person, which was quite similar with my thoughts. Maybe we were still ourselves but forget our last 100 years. In addition, I have a question as well. How do people know the things after death? I was impressed by one of my friend�s response. She said the person who can speak doesn�t know what the after death is and the person who knows what after death is cannot speak. I suppose that�s true. So who knows?

See, I have the same questions or ideas about death. I think that doesn�t mean you are stupid. Don�t blame yourself like that. This only means you think deeply about life and death. Actually, many people have this kind of questions like yours, especially the young and also including me and you. I suggest you to make more friends and open your heart. I�m very sorry to know your past story. But don�t because of a few unfriendly people refuse all the people. In my opinion, most people are kind and nice. Find someone your can get along well with and talk to her or him. Then you may find they have the same ideas as yours! I hope we can become friends!

Bob S. · Joined: 29 Apr 2004 Posts: 1767 Location: So. Cal

Evangeline · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 27 Location: China

Evangeline · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 27 Location: China

Evangeline · Joined: 01 Mar 2008 Posts: 27 Location: China

Anyway,I would like to talk about the only benefit from my thoughts.

I am too frightened to accept the view of disappearing,so I prefer believing that we'll get a new life after death. And then I may be a plant such as vegetable,flower,or I may be an animal like rabbit,dog.

I will never find the answer.In other words,I can be everything,and everything can be me. Nobody is willing to hurt himself,so am I. Now that everything can be me,I should treat everything kindly.

It seems to be a ridiculous reasoning.However,I 've learnt to love everything.And from now on,I won't do harm to anything on purpose. Laughing