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Culture of cohabitation
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SN



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 61
Location: http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~ii4n-sky/

PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2003 6:27 am    Post subject: Re: marriage Reply with quote

dont you think that knowing too much about the partner is a obstacle to get marriage? The more you know about the partner, the more you worry about the marriage life with the partner?
so called marriage-blue.
Sad
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Roseray



Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 47

PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2003 7:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wing wrote:
Quote:
Apart from performing the once-effective function of protection, the fundamental role the marriage certificate plays is to epitomize the willingness to make a life commitment, no matter what, till dead do they part.

Suppose your need for marriage does not completely come from within but partly out of social pressure, tell me if it is what I mean.


Of course, when you make up your mind to marry somebody, you are willing to make a life commitment and bear children for him. However, reality bites!!
I reiterate that I agree to cohabitation provided that I bear no children. If somehow we both are willing to have our children, I would ask for marriage before having babies.
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wing



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 193

PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2003 3:50 pm    Post subject: Re: marriage Reply with quote

SN wrote:
dont you think that knowing too much about the partner is a obstacle to get marriage? The more you know about the partner, the more you worry about the marriage life with the partner?
so called marriage-blue.
Sad



That is not what you call an obstacle to marriage. Don't you think 'the sooner the better'? You know her, sooner or later. I prefer to see through him before marriage so that I would not regret marrying him even if ended in divorce. Marriage is not the main goal between the two.
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wing



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 193

PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2003 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roseray wrote:

Of course, when you make up your mind to marry somebody, you are willing to make a life commitment and bear children for him. However, reality bites!!
I reiterate that I agree to cohabitation provided that I bear no children. If somehow we both are willing to have our children, I would ask for marriage before having babies.


I agree to live together without marriage rings, but just live together until marriage... I myself believe it is the aim of cohabitation.
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kai007



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Tue Feb 18, 2003 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree cohabitation provided that we decide not to have baby. Why I said that.For me, I don't think marriage is what PugachevV said it is only a matter of the church or religious establishment, the government involvement nor tax nor other benefits when the couple are married. I think the important thing to be considered are the children whether are legitimate or not. . It is not enough for them though they have plenty of love from their parents. As they are living in the world full of gossips and discrimination, they need recognition of the others and dignity.
Besides, if their parents are rich, they should be legitimate in order to inherit their parents properties.
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Diana



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 494
Location: Guam, USA

PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2003 1:46 pm    Post subject: Behind Closed Doors. Reply with quote

It doesn't bother me what people do in their house or behind the bedroom doors. Whether they want to get married or not is not my business. As for having children, that is a different story. Children should always be protected and loved. No child should be stigmatized because of their parents' mistakes.
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Jennifer



Joined: 25 Apr 2003
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2003 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marriage is a life-long commitment. Cohabitation is simply living together. Of course, each couple decides what "living together" means to them. However, the problem is often that each person has different ideas about what their relationship means. For instance, a woman might see cohabitation as a path to marriage, and a man might see it as free sex!

My personal opinion is that if someone is ready for a life-long commitment, then marriage is a beautiful way to show the world that you are a couple. If you aren't ready for marriage, then why spoil a good thing? Nothing kills a budding romance than too much intimacy (including bad breath first thing in the morning!) too fast. If a romance is mature and lasting, it can weather a lot more.

I respect the right of others to live their lives the way they feel, but I've seen so many relationships that have been ruined because of cohabitation, so these are merely my own personal views. And with all due respect to anyone who is currently living together, I don't think of shacking up as a very "classy" act.
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Corey



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Posts: 445
Location: Costa Rica

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2003 10:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know about Asian countries, but in the West marriage is quickly becoming a thing of the past. More than 50% of couples in Canada now live together without marrying.

Why?

Because of all the problems people can see associated with marriage. If anyone here is married, you will know that the Wedding ceremony itself is an extremely stressful process Shocked Plus the tax advantage for marrying really doesn't exist anymore.

Regards,

Corey
www.abcingles.net
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wing



Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 193

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2003 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you mind telling me why cohabitation in Canada has been so much popular? A silly question perhaps:)
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mjbinsanjose



Joined: 08 May 2003
Posts: 13

PostPosted: Thu May 08, 2003 7:27 pm    Post subject: Why Less Marraige in West? Reply with quote

Religion used to be a much stronger factor in the lives of people in the West. Sexual intercourse outside the bounds of marraige was considered to be a shameful act. A sin. An act by someone who was a pagan. Someone without understanding. Someone who did not care about society.

Now religion is less important in the lives of people. They do not feel the same sense of shame. They laugh about the idea of something being a sin.

When China reaches the point that children stop obeying parents, when friends stop trying to prevent other friends from doing bad things, when husbands and wifes refuse to accept their proper roles, when employees refuse to obey and respect their bosses, when youngest sons refuse to defer to oldest sons; in other words when all semblance of the idea of filial responsibilty has evaporated, than China will be in the position that the west is now.
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a shining pig



Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2003 6:46 am    Post subject: Re: Culture of cohabitation Reply with quote

chi-kei wrote:
Sorry,
I think you 've misunderstood some points,
let me explain with you.

More than ever, less people would look down on the people of cohabitation in Hong Kong nowadays.
(I don't know whether other asain countries are the same or not.)

However,
the old tradition mind of marriage still didn't change,
the parents think that marriage is better than cohabitation.
It brings a great pressure to it from the society.

In addition,
if the girl has a baby,
the boy should take the responsibility,
that is marry the girl, which is a common thinking of parents.



in fact, our eastern people more value our families.
do you think family is a warm and fragrant place where our mind and
body all can get release completely? of course, our family lives must
meet unpleasantnesses, even pains. but soft love exists in hearts of
couple. so couple will go through all difficulties together. finally, the
soft love becomes a kind of comprehension each other.
this is essence of life,i think. i don't need many power or money. i prefer
making friends with others to affecting them.

cohabitation gives us reasons to avoid to undertake responsibilities.
really, realities are most of cohabitants desert each other.
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toninho



Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 29

PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2003 8:08 pm    Post subject: cohabitation Reply with quote

Why in the world would people not want to live together before getting married.

wait a minute, there's more to the topic Twisted Evil

When you decide to live with another person, isn't it because you're comfortable and compatible with that person?

If it is a question of culture in a closed society then live with it and don't go round asking others what they think or critise their opinions. It boils down to be something private between 2 people and who cares what others should think or feel?

That's how I feel anyway.
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sandy



Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2003 8:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't agree cohabitation.Because I think marriage is a serious thing in the world and I think each girl desire to meet her good man and marry him.It is a dream for each girl.Because of that ,I am a girl . In addition,
female will be protected after she marries.And marriage can make their promotion become more hardy.
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2011



Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2003 8:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When we talk compare cohabitation to marriage, we often associate the former word with negative meaning. Consequently, we think cohabitation is not as natural as marriage. I think the meaning of words can be arbitrary (if we have good point to argue). Some people feel bad or uncomfortable with this because they force themselves to follow rules. But what are rules? If two people really wants to live with each other, then what's the problem whether they have got married or not.
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Simon



Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2003 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked Marry, I think most people like this, and also want to have a good husband or wife. Somebody was different. They don't like to marry. Some people has different sexual orientation, man loves man or womam love woman.
Love is not crime(include the cohabitation). But somebody wear the colour glasses. However, in the western country, they don't think anymore, just love.
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