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Two Kinds of Mothers
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debbie chou



Joined: 03 Mar 2008
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 3:09 am    Post subject: Two Kinds of Mothers Reply with quote

There are two kinds of mothers one who stays at home and one who works outside the home. They are different in caring families and focus of daily life. The time and energy they spend on caring family is different. Mother who stays at home has more time and can cook almost every meal for family. She can take care of old grandparents at home and clean the house. Mother who works outside the home has less time so she seldom cooks on her own. Her children usually have to wait her home after school and have to learn to be independent earlier. The two kinds of mothersí points of family and work are different. Mother who stays at home views her family caring work as her whole work. She will feel lonely after her children grow up. She might want to find a job then but she can hardly find one. Mother who works outside the home does not put whole her effort in the family. She still can lead a meaningful life even though her children leave home. She has another relationship in her work place and she can live with time.
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Suzanne



Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Posts: 283
Location: Seattle, WA, USA

PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2008 5:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a dilemma that many mothers face these days: stay at home for their families, or work to satisfy themselvs. There are debates this issue; in American magazines, you will see articles on this subject.

Women who stay at home say they are better mothers and wives. They thing that their satisfaction comes from making their families happy.

Women who work outside the home say that when they are fulfilled at their careers, they are better role models for their children. and that they make money to help the family do more things.

There is really no answer to this question: each woman has to decide for herself what is best.
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Anuradha Chepur



Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 932

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is only one kind of mother.
There are two kinds of women - those who pefer or need to work and those who don't.
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Suzanne



Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Posts: 283
Location: Seattle, WA, USA

PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2008 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent comment, Anuradha!

It would be wonderful if everyone saw this issue from your wise perspective. Thank you for expressing this so eloquently.
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Anuradha Chepur



Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 932

PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2008 5:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

O thanks Suzanne. Nice meeting you.
Hope we'll have more interaction on these forums in the days to come.
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RedRose



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am both.

I am a single mother. I take care of my daughter as well as work outside. And I really enjoy this kind of lifestyle.

As for housework is mentioned, it's not even a question, I hired a part-time cleaning woman who is much more professional at housework than me. When I have no class, I would cook delicate food for my daughter, and when I have 4 classes in a row in the morning, I just get some takeaways or make some easy food that doesn't take too much time. My daughter told me:"Mom, you don't have to spend that much time cooking, easy food is more delicious, and I enjoy takeaways once in a while."

If we have to sort out all mothers, According to my daughter's suggestion, there are two kinds of mothers: the boring ones and the interesting ones. I definitely belong to the latter. (My daughter just awarded me the prize Very Happy )
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Corey



Joined: 23 Mar 2003
Posts: 445
Location: Costa Rica

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anuradha Chepur wrote:
There is only one kind of mother.
There are two kinds of women - those who pefer or need to work and those who don't.


Does that mean that a woman who works cannot be a mother?

Corey
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Anuradha Chepur



Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 932

PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Does that mean that a woman who works cannot be a mother?



No, what I meant was a woman can work and still be a mother just as the woman who doesn't work and is a mother.
I meant to disagree with the tone in the OP that a mother who works cares less for her family.
A mother is a mother, whether she works or not.
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pugachevV



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 2295

PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

But there are good mothers and not so good mothers.
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Lorikeet



Joined: 08 Oct 2005
Posts: 1603
Location: San Francisco

PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

pugachevV wrote:
But there are good mothers and not so good mothers.


Of course, but working doesn't make a bad mother.
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Anuradha Chepur



Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 932

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
But there are good mothers and not so good mothers.


I guess so. Some have their maternal instincts suppressed by circumstancs/motivations/influences beyond their control, I suppose.
Sometimes there are some socio/economic reasons, or bad upbringing. Or it could be personality/phsycological disorder that needs counselling.

This is an extreme case, but I once read this horrifying news that a mother, who was married, killed her kids with the help of her lover, because they were the only bindng force in her marriage that had gone sour. I was shocked and disturbed for a few days after reading that.
There could be some evolutionary explanatin for this, I don't know. Perhaps, she thought her kids have the wrong genes in them that she doesn't wan't to propagate.

I would recommend people are trained in parenting skills and then be permitted to become parents.

I remember this strip from Calvin and Hobbes, where Calvin asks his dad to sign a document that says that his dad is inexperienced in parenting and thefore liable in future for any mistakes that he would have made in bringing him up.
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Bob S.



Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 1767
Location: So. Cal

PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anuradha Chepur wrote:
This is an extreme case, but I once read this horrifying news that a mother, who was married, killed her kids with the help of her lover, because they were the only bindng force in her marriage that had gone sour. I was shocked and disturbed for a few days after reading that.
There could be some evolutionary explanatin for this, I don't know..
In nature, when a new male takes over the territory and breeding females of another male, the first thing it does is kill the offspring of its predecessor, usually while the female passively looks on. Even domesticated animals like dogs and cats will do this sometimes. (When I was young, a feral tomcat found its way into our garage where our cat was nursing her kittens and proceeded to kill several before we heard what was happening and drove it off.)

This "kill the young" instinct does translate directly to human relations. Statistics prove it out. The safest place for a child is with parents who are biologically related to the child and married. When you bring in step-parents or co-habitating boyfriends/girlfriends not related to the child, the chances of violence toward the child increase exponentially. And some "mothers" let it happen because their desire for the new mate is stronger than their instinct to protect their children.

Not all mothers are created equal.
________________________
Since my kids arrived, I discovered a startling (stupifying) new emotional impulse that hadnít been present before: the reflexive willingness to walk off a cliff for someone else.
We say this out loud about various people in our lives: employers, friends, favorite novelists, favorite wives. But when push comes to shoveÖ Iím not sure I want to be tested. Donít quote me.
But our kids? Iíll take the bullet in a heartbeat. And I wish my children would appreciate this as they chuck their scrambled eggs at the ceiling.
-Berkeley Breathed
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pugachevV



Joined: 16 Jan 2003
Posts: 2295

PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As long as the government of many nations continues to reward unmarried mothers, we can probably expect it to continue. Some mothers have 4 children from 4 different fathers, none of whom they are, or have been married to.

But what do you do about that kind of exploitation of the system?
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Anuradha Chepur



Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 932

PostPosted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Probably such governments should stop allowing themselves to be exploited.
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RedRose



Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 2735
Location: GuangZhou, China

PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I don't have to work for money, and I have to be a nester, a stay-home mother, oh, which might make me a terrible mother. Without a job, stay home everyday, do chore. endless chore....I would be a cranky mather.
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