Dave's ESL Cafe's Student Discussion Forums

[steffyD]

How can u find out the one u love loves u bac?? i mean r they serious with u all the time...or r they playing with ur head?
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[Dordi]

That's a really difficult thing to find out, I suppose. It's kind of a feeling, sometimes you just know if a person is taking you seriously, but it's hard to be sure... Unfortunately there are lots of people in the world who don't take their social life seriously at all.
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"Without the past there's no future..."

[steffyD]

Yea i no what u mean...it is diffcult but how can u find out if he loves u or if he is playin wit ur head? I mean r guys really serious about girls...or do they just want them for sex and stuff like that...i mean what with them?
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[Dordi]

As a matter of fact I know only a few boys who really are serious about their girlfriends. This is how they seem to act:
1. They aren't shouting aloud to everyone that they've got a girlfriend.
2. When they are with their girlfriend they don't need to be "cool" or anything else like that. They are just normally.
3. If you ask them whether they really love their girlfriend or not, they get a bit confused about as stupid question as that, but then they say very clearly that of course they do.

As far as I know most of the boys seem to care only about sex, but who knows... Maybe they're just too embarrassed to say "I love you"...
It seems to me that boys are really weird creatures...
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"Without the past there's no future..."

[steffyD]

Ah ha i see...so do u have to ask if they love u? go to them n say "Do u love me"? or do u wait to see if they do...thats thing i get soo confused over...i mean...like...boys r not always serious as most of girlz r...i juss wanna no what to say ...if they love u or not....u get my point....guys r juss blah...they r so confusing u by sayin they love u but then the next they dont....thats what gets to me...that bothers me cuz lots of girls get hurt....
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[liebe]

I agree with Dordi!!! It seems that all guys care about is sex. I think they want love, but few of them would admit that. It's just not cool enough nowadays, for guys to want love. Nowadays it's all about sex and money...

The easiest way to find out if a guy doesn't love you is just refuse to have sex with him. If he loves you, he'll understand you and respect you. If he doesn't, he'll get angry with you and break up with you for another girl.
I'm not saying that guys who love their girlfriends don't have sex with them--I'm saying that guys who love their girlfriends respect their decisions and try to understand them.

Also, many guys have girlfriends who are "cool", they don't really love them. I often find out that guys come up to me and talk to me, when I look good and laugh a lot. But then they find out that I'm not a stupid, fun, "cool" girl that they can *beep* and just kick out (sorry for my language...), they have no interest for me. Or when they see me depressed or sad, about all of them turn away from me. I've never met a guy who loved me as a human being. They all are interested in me when I'm pretty, fun, not very intelligent looking.

Try to do something that isn't "cool" nowadays. Ask him to go with you to the opera. Or call him when you feel sad. Wear something that isn't very attractive. Don't put any make-up on the next time you see him. You'll then quickly find out how serious he is about you (or not...)

[Dordi]

[LucentShade]

This is amusing. . .once again, English learners have far outclassed a native speaker (SteffyD) in writing skills.

[liebe]

yep LucentShade, that's the way it is in the U.S--the immigrants speak English better than the Americans... I was one of the best students in my English class in high school. The American students used to always ask me how to spell certain words, about punctuation and etc. I guess it's because we learn the rules, whereas Americans don't feel any need to study them, since it's their native language. But we often have an accent, something that is very difficult to get rid off, and something that Americans don't have.

[ilya]

Refusing a man in sex you don`t find out whether he loves you or not. You`ve lust found out if he loves having sex or not. You should just learn better who he is, for that you should talk to him in some serious subjects, like love, sex, animals, culture and so on.