Collecting humorous stories
Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:31 am
Over the last 10 years I have been collecting anecdotes and examples of mistakes non-native speakers have made in the process of learning and using English as a second language. It keeps me sane during the sometimes endless marking sessions.
Would you like to share your funny stories? here are some examples of Arabish I collected in the Middle East:
If we don’t recycle paper, the trees will despair. (disappear)
Studies have to be started to see where the poverty is. Then, it helps unrich people to run small businesses.
My favorite hobby is drowning. I liked drowning when I was a child.
New Zeland is an island that is located in the specific ocean.
And an anecdote at a hairdresser in the Middle East: Arab speakers tend to use the word ‘too’ instead of ‘very’, in fact, the same as speakers from South America. “I love my family too much.” They don’t realise that the word ‘too’ has a negative meaning. It is more than you want or are comfortable with. An employer decided to check a reference on the resume of an applicant and phoned the previous employer. When she asked about the applicant’s performance in the previous job, she was told: “She is too good. I like her too much.” One day I went to a hairdresser. He was Syrian and spoke very little English, so it was difficult to explain how I wanted to have my hair cut. He did the sides with number 3 clippers and then changed it to a number 4. Before I could say anything he had started cutting the top of my hair with the clippers, and it was too short for my liking. However, it was also too late to change it, so I just let it go. At the end he asked me: “You like?” I replied: “No, I don’t like it. It’s too short.” Undisturbed he said: “Yes too short, very good.” He then charged me too much for the haircut, so I never went back.
I hope you enjoyed these and would like to share your stories.
Luke Zimmermann
Would you like to share your funny stories? here are some examples of Arabish I collected in the Middle East:
If we don’t recycle paper, the trees will despair. (disappear)
Studies have to be started to see where the poverty is. Then, it helps unrich people to run small businesses.
My favorite hobby is drowning. I liked drowning when I was a child.
New Zeland is an island that is located in the specific ocean.
And an anecdote at a hairdresser in the Middle East: Arab speakers tend to use the word ‘too’ instead of ‘very’, in fact, the same as speakers from South America. “I love my family too much.” They don’t realise that the word ‘too’ has a negative meaning. It is more than you want or are comfortable with. An employer decided to check a reference on the resume of an applicant and phoned the previous employer. When she asked about the applicant’s performance in the previous job, she was told: “She is too good. I like her too much.” One day I went to a hairdresser. He was Syrian and spoke very little English, so it was difficult to explain how I wanted to have my hair cut. He did the sides with number 3 clippers and then changed it to a number 4. Before I could say anything he had started cutting the top of my hair with the clippers, and it was too short for my liking. However, it was also too late to change it, so I just let it go. At the end he asked me: “You like?” I replied: “No, I don’t like it. It’s too short.” Undisturbed he said: “Yes too short, very good.” He then charged me too much for the haircut, so I never went back.
I hope you enjoyed these and would like to share your stories.
Luke Zimmermann