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TEAM_PAPUA
Joined: 24 May 2004
Posts: 1679
Location: HOLE
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 Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 9:54 pm Post subject: Dating & Mountain Biking |
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 Two possibly unrelated topics, unless you date and ride at the same time (open to interpretation). Anyway, I'm moving to Japan soon & I wondered if anyone out there could provide any information/guidelines to dating Japanese girls - things to be aware of, things to avoid, parents attitudes, girls attitudes etc. i will be working in a university & I read that ss there are 'emotionally immature' - if true, does this cause problems for foreign teachers?
Secondly, I have noticed that all major bike makers have japanese websites & dealerships, so, is mountain biking popular in Japan? Is it safe & suitable to ride around the cities/outskirts while also venturing out further?
Many thanks |
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Glenski
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN
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| Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 10:25 pm Post subject: |
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For the biking question, to go www.outdoorjapan.com
For the dating question, I have a question back to you first...
Are you planning on dating your students? |
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johnslat
Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 10:27 pm Post subject: The Dating Game |
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Oh boy - here we go again.
Regards,
John |
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SEndrigo
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 437
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| Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 11:18 pm Post subject: Re: Dating & Mountain Biking |
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| TEAM_PAPUA wrote: |
Two possibly unrelated topics, unless you date and ride at the same time (open to interpretation). Anyway, I'm moving to Japan soon & I wondered if anyone out there could provide any information/guidelines to dating Japanese girls - things to be aware of, things to avoid, parents attitudes, girls attitudes etc. i will be working in a university & I read that ss there are 'emotionally immature' - if true, does this cause problems for foreign teachers?
Secondly, I have noticed that all major bike makers have japanese websites & dealerships, so, is mountain biking popular in Japan? Is it safe & suitable to ride around the cities/outskirts while also venturing out further?
Many thanks |
Hi,
For the dating question, there's a better place and that is:
http://kawama.tzo.com:1023/kris/
But I must warn you, if you want to have a genuine relationship with someone, that website won't be of much help |
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denise
Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 3419
Location: finally home-ish
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| Posted: Mon May 24, 2004 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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Team_Papua--
I think the reason why nobody has tackled your dating question yet (other than by posting a web link) is because it is quite a contentious issuee--if you look through both this forum and the general forum you'll find loads of dating threads that quickly went sour.
d |
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TEAM_PAPUA
Joined: 24 May 2004
Posts: 1679
Location: HOLE
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 12:13 am Post subject: dating: reponse |
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many thanks for your responses on the dating & biking issues.
just to clarify that i don't intend to date students, and that dating is not my sole intention in Japan. from previous experience I have been involved in, and witnessed, some parental prejudices in both Indonesia & china - I would just wish to be informed so I may avoid these in future, just in case. i truly hope that me post wasn't misinterpreted.
Many thanks for the mountain bike links BTW  |
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Glenski
Joined: 15 Jan 2003
Posts: 12844
Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 1:04 am Post subject: |
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Dating is a very sensitive topic. Thanks for clarifying your original point.
Japanese women don't all like/prefer foreign men, so don't think that they all do. Many are downright afraid of us. Some are attracted for good reasons, some for bad reasons.
The bad reasons may include showing off a trophy to their friends, having a "gentleman" on their arms (as compared to the less gentlemanly Japanese men), simply getting lots of gifts and free meals, picking up some English (or whatever language you speak).
In many cases, Japanese women of all ages may seem more childish and childlike than western women of the same age. You will have to deal with that, and it may not be easy. Certainly, you won't be able to change it. These attitudes may be reflected in what they like to do, how "cute" they perceive everything, what cutesy ornaments they wear or decorate their homes with, etc. It's just part of the culture, and unless a Japanese woman has experienced life overseas, this attitude is often something that she doesn't change/lose.
Final note (until someone else posts, that is...)
Christian values on sex and morality are not prevalent in Japan. Many foreign men take advantage of that. Beware, if for no other reason than the growing numbers of STDs. |
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TEAM_PAPUA
Joined: 24 May 2004
Posts: 1679
Location: HOLE
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 1:17 am Post subject: response |
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many thanks for your considered response (I also followed the link to YD's website - not much help).
I guess Japan will be like every other place I have visited in terms of these problems, misunderstandings, misinterpretations and unavoidable mistakes.
many thanks |
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SEndrigo
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 437
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 2:12 am Post subject: Re: response |
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| TEAM_PAPUA wrote: |
many thanks for your considered response (I also followed the link to YD's website - not much help).
I guess Japan will be like every other place I have visited in terms of these problems, misunderstandings, misinterpretations and unavoidable mistakes.
many thanks |
To quote the character Martin, from the classic book Candide, who "believed that a man was equally ill-situated everywhere." 
No worries TP, that is a genuine concern no matter where you go, and it's good to know these things beforehand. |
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PAULH
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 4672
Location: Western Japan
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 3:28 am Post subject: Re: Dating & Mountain Biking |
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| TEAM_PAPUA wrote: |
: things to be aware of, things to avoid, parents attitudes, girls attitudes etc. i will be working in a university & I read that ss there are 'emotionally immature' - if true, does this cause problems for foreign teachers?
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Dating issues aside- some of the problems I have heard of can be stalking- sometimes girls dont or wont let go if they are spurned if you lose interest in them or use them like playthings.
Some even turn vindictive and nasty, so be warned.
Some will treat you like a plaything, and I hear of some girls having 3 or 4 guys at the same time and dropping guys like a worn stocking or you find out she has other boyfriends. Plenty of bruised egos to go around.
You will not even likely meet the parents unless she is considering you for marriage material. Getting married or engaged to a foreigner opens a whole can of worms about career, children, where you will live etc, not to mention closet racist parents.
Women are not on the pill here and condoms are the contraception of choice. However less than 30% of guys actually use them.There are over 300,000 abortions in Japan every year, where abortion is legal. You can make your own mind up on that.
Im not going to pass judgement on the intellectual level of women here, but most university students I meet are like high schools back home. Nice girls, like eye candy but not much else, in my opinion.
The high school girls are even worse in terms of maturity. Think Hello Kitty on 16 year old girls handbags.
Single women here live at home until their 30's have no expenses and high disposable income and many are spoilt rotten and think only of shopping and travel and dining in fancy restaurants. They hunt in packs.
Glenski mentioned they like 'cute' things but in talking to students etc I get the impression many of them are very shallow. All cute and candy floss and very little substance. Most read no newspapers or watch serious TV, or know whats going on in the world outside the latest fashions or TV idols etc. If you can live with, that be my guest. |
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vash3000
Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 4:27 am Post subject: |
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Y`know, Paul, I think you just singlehandedly boosted Nova`s recruitment of young, 20-something males by about 30%.
V. |
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SEndrigo
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 437
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 4:42 am Post subject: |
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| vash3000 wrote: |
Y`know, Paul, I think you just singlehandedly boosted Nova`s recruitment of young, 20-something males by about 30%.
V. |
Just 30%? Are you sure?
I'd say PAULH's post could singlehandedly open 15 more NOVA schools across Japan...that's perhaps the best testimonial NOVA could ever use!
I wonder though, just how many people come to Japan, for that reason....I wonder what the actual numbers are ! |
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homersimpson
Joined: 14 Feb 2003
Posts: 569
Location: Kagoshima
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 4:46 am Post subject: |
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| Unfortunately (depending on your point of view), much of what Paul posted is fairly accurate. "Women" here seem to be lost in a perpetual state of adolescence. It's as if they reach the peak of their maturity at some point in junior high school. It's all rather odd actually. The only exceptions I have seen are those who have spent some significant time overseas (either studying or traveling). |
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SEndrigo
Joined: 28 Apr 2004
Posts: 437
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 4:50 am Post subject: Re: Dating & Mountain Biking |
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| PAULH wrote: |
Some will treat you like a plaything, and I hear of some girls having 3 or 4 guys at the same time and dropping guys like a worn stocking or you find out she has other boyfriends. Plenty of bruised egos to go around. |
Ohhhh....this reminds me of a true story I read about on the forums on the YD Guide to Japan. Someone had posted a heart-wrenching story about how he was used by a J-girl. This story was so insane I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I felt for the bloke.....absolutely brutal stuff!
And this all went on for about 10 years....I kid you not !!! You won't believe it unless you read it, I've never heard of any woman getting this badly *#&$&% over.
| PAULH wrote: |
| I get the impression many of them are very shallow. All cute and candy floss and very little substance. Most read no newspapers or watch serious TV, or know whats going on in the world outside the latest fashions or TV idols etc. If you can live with, that be my guest. |
Brilliant stuff PAULH, this is not the first time I have heard this....but this makes me wonder, if they are so shallow and materialistic, what would they want with a NOVA teacher earning a paltry 250,000 yen per month?
Do you ever get NOVA/GEOS/etc teachers who actually come to Japan with loads of money, who have a nice wardrobe, etc?
Which begs the question, if you already had loads of money, property, etc, would you still come to Japan to teach? |
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vash3000
Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 6:06 am Post subject: |
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Which begs the question, if you already had loads of money, property, etc, would you still come to Japan to teach?
Well, there`s always the job satisfaction, I suppose.
I mean, what could be more rewarding than teaching vindictive-nasty- spoilt-rotten-shallow-women-with-very-little-substance-lost-in-a-perpetual-state-of-adolescence-that-think-only-of-shopping-and-travel-and-dining-in-fancy-restaurants-while-they-live-at-home-with-parents-who-are-closet-rascists...
(did I miss anything?)
Uhh...you know I love you guys, but I believe a case has just been made for foreigners who come here just to shag.
Not that I approve or disapprove.
Best,
V. |
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