Job Discussion Forums

LadyK · Joined: 25 May 2009 Posts: 55 Location: USA, FL

I've been here almost two years now, and as a single woman have yet to be in any kind of relationship. It's a common problem for Western women, since Western guys are (commonly) interested in Japanese girls and Japanese guys may be intimidated by Western girls. I'm curious to hear about any Western woman's experience here dating Japanese guys. I've seen it happen, though rarely, so I'm just asking for opinions or experiences. Thanks!

Apsara · Joined: 20 Sep 2005 Posts: 2142 Location: Tokyo, Japan

I'm a New Zealander married to a Japanese guy, and I know dozens of other foreign women married to Japanese guys- it's not as unusual as a lot of people think! I'm not totally comfortable putting all the details of how we met etc on an open forum like this and it's not that interesting really anyway Laughing

plus of course it's kind of off-topic- PM me if you like Smile

cat mother · Joined: 22 Sep 2009 Posts: 62

Same here, I'm a white woman married to a Japanese guy. And know tons more.

TokyoLiz · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 1548 Location: Tokyo, Japan

Most of the married or attached foreign women I know are with Japanese men.

I don't talk about my private life on public forums, but I can say it's not hard to meet Japanese and non-Japanese guys through clubs, activities, sports, friends of friends, etc.

TwinCentre · Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 273 Location: Mokotow

A guy here, who is a bit out of date...I worked in Tokyo back in the late 90s.

I recall meeting a significant number of Western women dating, engaged or married to Japanese guys back then. It was perfectly common.

I also remember Western Women with Western guys.

Have things changed that much?

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

This site and the accompanying book might be helpful.
http://www.being-a-broad.com/

ScribblePrincess · Joined: 19 Mar 2012 Posts: 1

And Im another, British born Caribbean with a Japanese partner. Ive been here 11 months. And I think the only factor in the way of it being more common is how forward you are about it. I dont know about other men, but my bf just naturally assumed I wasnt interested in him because he was Japanese. I also have a few male friends who make the same assumption of western women in general.

If there is a guy you like, its probably best to make him aware you are interested in at least Japanese men, if you are afraid to kokuhaku him first.

ssjup81 · Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 5:44 am Post subject:

A friend of mine is American and she's been dating the guy she's with for about two years now. They're getting married in September.

mitsui · Joined: 10 Jun 2007 Posts: 1562 Location: Kawasaki

I just think that you have to be assertive.

I know of women from Italy and France with Japanese husbands. You have to take the initiative.

However, if you are in Tokyo it isn`t simple since it is such a busy city and everyone has different schedules. It is hard to meet anyone.

I find that marriages with foreign wives and Japanese husbands are less likely to end in divorce or separation.

G Cthulhu · Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 2:11 pm Post subject:

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

The following data do not show failure rates, but how many in terms of foreign husbands to J wives vs. foreign wives to J husbands:

International divorces, however, have increased steadily, nearly doubling within the same time period (for Japanese men-Foreign women: from 6,153 to 12,071 divorces; for Japanese women-Foreign men: from 1,839 to 3,228 divorces).
http://www.debito.org/?p=9

Cool Teacher · Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:11 am Post subject: