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Harbin
Joined: 19 Feb 2013
Posts: 161
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 Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 4:20 pm Post subject: Passive-aggressive things Chinese students do |
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Last week, I had an advanced level English corner that I really looked forward to hosting. I hadn't seen these students in a number of weeks and really wanted to do something special for them, so I spent about two hours creating a murder mystery game for 20 people. The game was set such that the 19 non-murders had to compete against the murderer to solve the mystery first. Each of the 19 non-murders had one clue to the murder and location of 2 million quid, which the murder was supposed to find.
Since this was the last class one of the students -- a Chinese as a foreign language teacher -- would attend before moving to an English speaking country, I secretly gave her the murderer role and explained what her goals were and that her role was central to the success of the game.
After spending about 40 minutes helping individuals with their roles, goals, and the back story, I learned that the CFL teacher had given her role card to a non-English speaking observer. The entire game was ruined because of this one action and I left early out of disgust.
To be fair, this student has always been very lazy, but I never thought that she would pull something like to sabotage a game for 19 other people.
What are your experiences with passive-aggressive behavior in Chinese EFL students? |
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LarssonCrew
Joined: 06 Jun 2009
Posts: 1308
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| Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 5:34 pm Post subject: |
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Wow, I'd be pissed.
I've had plans and such that just have not worked, because Chinese students just CANNOT stop cheating.
I bought an English version of cluedo and we played, and yet, they messed it up and refused to tell the truth if they had or hadn't got the card.
Ended up with the students confused because, even though I expressly said they must tell the truth , they couldn't bring themselves to. |
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Non Sequitur
Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 4724
Location: China
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| Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 8:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Was there any payoff for her in sabotaging the game? |
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likwid_777
Joined: 04 Nov 2012
Posts: 411
Location: NA
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| Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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She probably didn't want to reveal her lacklustre English skills, knowing that her position in the game was the one that required the best English.
I remember playing a similar game with students (16 to 19 year olds), and while they could play, if one had to be the 'game master', they would revert to Chinese so much. So hard to get them to stop speaking in Chinese haha. |
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tangal
Joined: 11 Nov 2012
Posts: 47
Location: Da Nang Beach
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| Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:39 pm Post subject: |
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Urban Dictionary definition of passive aggressive: A defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable being openly aggressive to get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them.
This may not be a case of passive aggressive behavior, as there seem to be clues to other possibilities at play. Maybe you coerced her into taking the murderer role? Maybe she was uncomfortable with the pressure of playing a role that was central to the success of the game? Perhaps she was afraid that her English wouldn't be good enough and she didn't want to feel embarrassed during the game? Is it possible she handed the card over to another student to avoid embarrassment rather than to get your goat? And how would switching cards with another student behind your back be construed as pleasing you?
You describe yourself as an English Corner Host, isn't that a bit high and mighty to begin with? Are you also a psychology major or a trained psychologist? Are you sure we shouldn't call it the Case of the English Corner Host's Bruised Ego? |
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rogerwilco
Joined: 10 Jun 2010
Posts: 1549
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| Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2013 10:59 pm Post subject: |
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| tangal wrote: |
Urban Dictionary definition of passive aggressive: A defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable being openly aggressive to get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them.
This may not be a case of passive aggressive behavior, as there seem to be clues to other possibilities at play. Maybe you coerced her into taking the murderer role? Maybe she was uncomfortable with the pressure of playing a role that was central to the success of the game? Perhaps she was afraid that her English wouldn't be good enough and she didn't want to feel embarrassed during the game? Is it possible she handed the card over to another student to avoid embarrassment rather than to get your goat? And how would switching cards with another student behind your back be construed as pleasing you?
You describe yourself as an English Corner Host, isn't that a bit high and mighty to begin with? Are you also a psychology major or a trained psychologist? Are you sure we shouldn't call it the Case of the English Corner Host's Bruised Ego? |
A definition of "gal" from the urban dictionary:
"Get A Life"
Phrase used by insecure xenophobes as a response to someone with different hobbies, interests or attitudes to themselves. These people often think they have a lot of friends, but usually nobody really cares for them."
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gal |
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Non Sequitur
Joined: 23 May 2010
Posts: 4724
Location: China
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| Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:08 am Post subject: |
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| tangal wrote: |
Urban Dictionary definition of passive aggressive: A defense mechanism that allows people who aren't comfortable being openly aggressive to get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others. They want their way, but they also want everyone to still like them.
This may not be a case of passive aggressive behavior, as there seem to be clues to other possibilities at play. Maybe you coerced her into taking the murderer role? Maybe she was uncomfortable with the pressure of playing a role that was central to the success of the game? Perhaps she was afraid that her English wouldn't be good enough and she didn't want to feel embarrassed during the game? Is it possible she handed the card over to another student to avoid embarrassment rather than to get your goat? And how would switching cards with another student behind your back be construed as pleasing you?
You describe yourself as an English Corner Host, isn't that a bit high and mighty to begin with? Are you also a psychology major or a trained psychologist? Are you sure we shouldn't call it the Case of the English Corner Host's Bruised Ego? |
Whaaaaaattt???
If this forum isn't for describing on-the-job issues for FTs and getting sensible feedback then it isn't worth the candle.
Your post doesn't meet the standard frankly. |
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dean_a_jones
Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 1151
Location: Wuhan, China
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| Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:32 am Post subject: |
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| tangal wrote: |
| Urban Dictionary definition of passive aggressive |
A rather odd choice for a source, although your response was a pretty good illustration really.
Anyway, it might not be passive aggressive, I think it might just have been out of embarrassment of being at the centre of the activity or fear of exposing a low English level, as a few others have suggested. Doesn't make it right, though, and logic would suggest they should have just raised this with you. Then again, logic suggests a lot of things here that seem to go unheard.
Passive aggressive behaviour is really common here. The locals do it as a way of fighting what really is an annoying system for them, where those above you treat you like crap a lot of the time just because they can. So it kind of trickles down and the p/a behaviour radiates outwards as a result. I see it a lot with FTs as well (and am guilty of it myself at times), usually because the ways things are done here can often be annoying (especially differences in social etiquette and organisational planning), but you can't really do much about it. Perfect breeding ground for p/a behaviour as a way of hitting back. Not that it really works, but it is a pretty common way for people to feel better in the moment, even if over time I think it just builds up your general intolerance of the place. |
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chinatimes
Joined: 27 May 2012
Posts: 478
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| Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 5:43 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| passive-aggressive behavior |
How is that passive aggressive? Even if you made up a game and told native English speakers a rough idea, they won't clearly get the full picture until playing it out a few times.
I think you made some basic mistakes. Perhaps you overlooked these.
1. You should always do games/activities in rounds. Round one is a warm up, a model example for what the longer game will be like. You put all your eggs in one basket and tried to play a 45 minute game. Instead, do 10 minutes of a shortened version when introducing a new game. Then, do 30 minutes. You want to give the students the feeling if they play the game again they will have more time.
2. To add to 1, never introduce something new on the final day. This is the time to do either something really really really really simple that everyone will enjoy or a favorite.
3. You told the best student about the game and maybe she didn't fully understand. She probably knows she is a good student and was worried about messing up the game. If she made a mistake it would look awful. Imagine an Einstein missing a simple formula, or an NBA star missing a simple shot. So, she gave the card to a lower level student who is more likely to make mistakes and not stand out in the crowd when something goes wrong.
4. "explained ....... that her role was central to the success of the game."
Major mistake. You don't tell someone if they fail then everything will crumble. If they are truly up to the task, then they already would know this. You might as well have told her you would torture her if she made one wrong move. That's probably how her heart was pounding.
To me, a passive aggressive person would have kept the card but not engaged in the game until called upon (repeatedly). The game would have worked but finished incomplete because this one person refused to do what they knew they could do. By giving the card to someone else, they are simply removing themself from the game. That's not passive aggressive behavior.
In my experiences, I have had students not say anything to me when I asked them, "Please read sentence 23." They look at me, nothing. I look at them, then they put their head down, I continue looking, they look up to see if I went to someone else. Then, they see I am still looking at them, the spotlight is on them, they don't like it so what to they do?
"Oh, teacher, you want me to read sentence 23?" 
It's interesting how they pretend not to understand my requests but can magically tell me what I wanted them to do when feeling uncomfortable.
Another one is where they put their head behind their book as if you can't see them, or they build a wall with their books and take out their tablets. That flashing light from the desk must be unique to that person's desk. |
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Harbin
Joined: 19 Feb 2013
Posts: 161
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| Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Non Sequitur wrote: |
| Was there any payoff for her in sabotaging the game? |
| likwid_777 wrote: |
| She probably didn't want to reveal her lacklustre English skills, knowing that her position in the game was the one that required the best English. |
This, but the role didn't require the best English skills - it simply required that she do the same thing as all of the other students.
Last edited by Harbin on Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:30 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Harbin
Joined: 19 Feb 2013
Posts: 161
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| Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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| tangal wrote: |
| Is it possible she handed the card over to another student to avoid embarrassment rather than to get your goat? And how would switching cards with another student behind your back be construed as pleasing you? |
I had her hand out cards to the other students. I feel justified in saying her action was passive-aggressive behavior.
| tangal wrote: |
| You describe yourself as an English Corner Host, isn't that a bit high and mighty to begin with? Are you also a psychology major or a trained psychologist? Are you sure we shouldn't call it the Case of the English Corner Host's Bruised Ego? |
Pot, meet kettle.
For your information, hosting -- or teaching, if you prefer -- English Corners is one of my job duties as stipulated by my contract. |
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Harbin
Joined: 19 Feb 2013
Posts: 161
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| Posted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| chinatimes wrote: |
| To me, a passive aggressive person would have kept the card but not engaged in the game until called upon (repeatedly). The game would have worked but finished incomplete because this one person refused to do what they knew they could do. By giving the card to someone else, they are simply removing themself from the game. That's not passive aggressive behavior. |
Ah. I neglected to mention that I caught her trying to trade the card with a different lower level student before she handed it off to a non-English speaking observer under the guise of her role as the card giver. She simply wasn't willing to do the job and pretended to please me several different times while trying to secretly throw her shoes in the machine.
Regarding your other points, I understand what you're saying, but this is just another variation of a whole class information gathering task they've seen several times before. It's really nothing more than "Find someone who ....." with a list of clues to compile instead of names or number of people.
I don't work at a university, so finals week wasn't a factor. |
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it'snotmyfault
Joined: 14 May 2012
Posts: 527
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| Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 5:40 am Post subject: |
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There was a really annoying but bright boy in one of my classes who constantly asked me endless questions about the UK, its politics, history, royal family etc.
I thought he was just genuinely interested in British culture at first and then I noticed him checking his culture class textbook when I answered his questions..to see if I'd given the right answers!!
When I stopped playing his little game and pointed out it wasn't relevant to this weeks class he'd sit there sniggering with his friends.
Seemed like his sole purpose was to try and catch me out or get me in an awkward position. Which didn't work but never stopped him trying...the tedious little "bleep" |
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GreatApe
Joined: 11 Apr 2012
Posts: 582
Location: South of Heaven and East of Nowhere
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| Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:56 am Post subject: |
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Are we sure we should be using the "Passive Aggressive" label, as opposed to something like "The Crab Mentality"? ... or is the crab mentality better reserved only for Malaysians and Philippinos?
I suppose it doesn't really matter, because the problem of cheating is rampant throughout China.
I've taught at an I.S. for the last 2 years and caught AT LEAST one student cheating during every exam that I have invigilated at this school. Three major exams per semester, so that's 12 exams in 2 years. Our International Section has about 95 students in total.
This semester, I INTENTIONALLY tried NOT to catch a student cheating on our second exam. I went out of my way to ignore things that might have been cheating and made sure to spend a lot of time looking out the classroom window while the exams were going on.
So what happens!? .... a student drops his cell-phone on the floor during the examination! He had been holding it between his legs on his chair and looking at it during the exam. It made the biggest noise when he dropped it, but the sound of the phone hitting the floor paled in comparison to the noise I made when I burst out laughing!
I walked to his desk, picked up the phone, and when I did, I'm looking at a picture of the student's Business notes for the Business exam that he is currently taking.
I took the phone, took the test, and threw the student out of class ... end of story. Administration and Academic Director did NOTHING about the problem! The student is still here, still sleeping during class, still cheating whenever possible. He plans to go to Australia next year to cheat, er ...I mean to STUDY!
--GA |
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dean_a_jones
Joined: 03 Jul 2009
Posts: 1151
Location: Wuhan, China
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| Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 9:31 am Post subject: |
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| GreatApe wrote: |
He plans to go to Australia next year to cheat, er ...I mean to STUDY!
--GA |
Part of me feels bad for the students stuck in this bind, between the parents forcing them abroad to study stuff they don't like, the school draining them of energy via the 'quantity over quality' approach to education (and turning a blind eye to this kind of thing, thus encouraging it) and the school abroad who sees him as a walking hong bao.
Except, of course, when I catch them in the act... |
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